100 RPG cliches

[SCARY WIZARD]

People can only speak Engrish.

[Wicked Witch of the Crest]

No RPG has a perfect analysis of every single element.(Fire, etc.)

[Ace Mercury]

For some reason, you just can't equip armour made for the other gender. It's physically impossible. Even things such as helms and gloves.

[ZIPPYDIPPY19]

If there are two villains, expect them to fuse into some huge monster eventually

[Sim Kid]

The best characters are usually killed off quickly.

See: Fire Emblem's Denning, Legend of Dragoon's Lavitz.

[Gumby dammit]

Characters NEVER get hungry.

NPCs repeat the same thing over and over again unless the plot changes.

The only thing sold in stores are weapons,armor,potions,and spells,but no clothing,food,or anything normal.

[ December 15, 2004, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: 10th Star ]

[ocarinagirl]

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SWORDS.

The main character (usually male) either:
A) Doesn't talk. Or..

B) Is dumb as a rock.

[ December 15, 2004, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Bad Andi ]

[Sim Kid]

It's always a princess who rebels against the king who's being controlled. It's never the prince.


See: Shining Force: Ressurection of the Dark Dragon's Narsha.

[Lord Umbra]

The knowledge gained by killing giant rodents is unrelated to biology, rabies, or animal control. Instead such activities teach the party spell-caster how to fling multiple spheres of fire.

[Gumby dammit]

The giant monsters are ALWAYS on top of the giant mountain.

Your appearence NEVER changes,even when you change armor or clothes.

[Sim Kid]

Despite the blazing heat of a desert, people will always wear robes.

[Parrakarry]

People wear robes in a desert so they don't get burned by the sun.

[Sim Kid]

Yes, but don't they ever get hot in those things?


...Of course, some of their robes are white, which is a very great reflector. [/NERD]


Heroes in heavy armour never ever seem to get hot.

[Ace Mercury]

Conversely, some female characters don't really need heavy armour, for their midrifts are like tempered steel.

[Sim Kid]

Yeah, I noticed that females usually wear robes, regular clothing, or five-inch mini skirts or other clothes that expose a lot of their legs. (How do the traditional RPG ladies even shave their legs anyway?)

[Gumby dammit]

If the sequal continues off from where the previous game set off,characters will forget everything previously learned before. (( See: FFX2. ))

[Erdawn Il Deus]

^Often without proper explanation, or by some convuluted plot device so bad it festers in your brain like a tumour until you start pissing yourself at random intervals.

"Well, we haven't been in action for two years! Of course we've forgotten all our magic! Also, I ran out of money after losing my job as a summoner, and was forced to start working the Bevelle streets. Rikku's slipped into the life of a crack whore, and I need to lose some serious pounds.."

[Sim Kid]

I remember how Megaman Legends 2 had an explanation for Megaman's missing powerups. Roll sold them for $$$. Too bad it's not an RPG though.


If you have a lot of chracters, expect only three or four of them to recieve any form of development while the others work in the background to ensure that the plot revolves around those three or four. (See: Chrono Cross)

[Gumby dammit]

The party will consist of the following people-

1. The main character,who usualy has weird hair and a big sword. Knows nothing of the world around him until halfway through the game.

2. The outspoken 'pal',who usualy utters swears.

3. The quiet white mage female,who's in love with the hero.

4. The serious,kick ass guy who ends up dying later on in the game.

5. The stuck up,annoying guy/girl who has a worthless ability.

6. The black mage with a gothic attitude.


No matter the wound,poision,petrification,or even death,can be healed with sleep.

[ December 20, 2004, 07:44 PM: Message edited by: 10th Star ]

[Cysma]

Kingdoms are good, Empires are evil.

The place you're forced to enter next always contains slightly stronger monsters than the area you just cleared, as if the gods themselves are directing you through this path.

If you've travelled across the entire world and have visited basically every location, but your mission is not complete, be prepared to do a LOT of backtracking.

Nobody even thinks about using a revitalizing item on a fallen comrade outside of battle, such as being murdered by the villian.

If you hear strange music when you enter a town, something bad is going on or is going to happen. You will also know when everything is back to normal when the music reverts to a cheery tune you've been listening to for the last 5 towns, which are all back to normal.

People you have a choice of fighting are much stronger than those you're forced to battle.

You can take anything you want from people's houses, but you can't steal from any shops.

Somehow, someday, your next-door neighbor will become the villian's right-hand man.

All rumors and legends are 100% true.

An evil demon arises and terrorizes the world every 1000 years on the dot. It's been 999 years and 11 months since the last time it happened. Guess what? You're gonna stop him this millenium...

At some point in your journey, you're gonna walk underwater.

Always do favors for people that ask you. They will give you something in return that will always help you on your travels in some way. Just do favors for these people, no matter how ridiculous the task.

There is a cave that seperates your home town from the next closest town. When you go through it, expect to be attacked by the monster your neighbors have been chatting about a few steps from the exit.

At least once in your journey, you will meet a person with amazing skills possibly surpassing even yours, and would be a vital part of your group when he joins you, until he tries to stop the villian and dies just before you ask him to join you.