MCU Megathread

[CaptHayfever]

The dang *director* of Black Widow just leaked some plot info, so be careful for spoilers out there.
Part 52 stars a man who moonlights as a Marvel sniper....


The Punisher season 2:

#2.01 "Roadhouse Blues":
--Why are you already bloody, Frank? Oh, this is in medias res. Let's flashback.
--Shooter Jennings as himself.
--Choking to death is not peaceful, sir.
--Well, dang. Frank's finally trying to move on. That closure actually worked.
--Where do people get this idea that drummers are wild animals anyway?
--My wife: "Is that a cat or an owl?" I'm pretty sure it's a fox.
--Rex is cute.
--A belt isn't quite muay thai ropes, but it's still pretty good for blocking knives. This bathroom fight as a whole is great. The barroom fight, on the other hand, shows a lot of sloppiness from these allegedly professional assassins.
--RIP Cool Bouncer Guy. You did good, man.
--Madani does not look healthy right now.

#2.02 "Fight or Flight":
--Don't drive drunk...or half-dead.
--"It's yesterday." I was with you until that part, Debbie; that's kinda douchey.
--Now that we finally know Mystery Girl's name is Rachel, I can say this: Amy is played by Giorgia Whigham, daughter of Shea Whigham, who played SSR Chief Dooley back in the day.
--"I'm a girl, so I know how to sew?" No, you're the ONLY PERSON HERE, so it doesn't matter whether you know how to sew; you're doing it.
--Amy's fear is understandable, but you'd think she'd catch on when Frank finally went to sleep.
--Billy's gotta be lying about at least some of his memory loss; we literally just saw inside his mind. (Heh, he said "jigsaw".)
--"You owe this man nothing." She doesn't owe you anything either, hospital-bed-threatening jerk.
--Ah, the old tunnel-between-adjoining-motel-rooms trick; I knew it all along!
--The police medic is awesome.
--Pilgrim & Daredevil could have a very interesting conversation about faith.

#2.03 "Trouble the Water":
--This is the whitest performance of "Wade in the Water" I've ever heard, & that includes my own parish choir of elderly white people.
--Henry Spencer is in this show, as an analog of the Kochs.
--Don't use the "secret alms" verse to justify not telling your sick wife where the hell you're going.
--Even Larkville, Ohio, has a Turk.
--Love that the sheriff is seeing straight through everybody's crap.
--Doctor, gently pulling on a spiderweb just gets you stuck to it.
--I thought for a second that Russo beating the guards was gonna be a fantasy sequence.
--Brett, thank you for stopping Madani from doing something stupid. Madani, thank you for finally calling Frank back.
--Sheriff, you could end this right now by shooting Pilgrim in the back.
--The drunk in the tank is the cop's brother; I love it!
--The merc seemed oddly surprised that the jail cell door didn't open when he shot it.
--Pilgrim's lucky none of the other mercs saw him kill Marlena. (Then again, she can't even count; there's 6 of them left plus the kid, not just 4.)
--Actually, all of these mercs are pretty dumb; 2 of them actually CAME RUNNING when 1 screamed for help as if their position wouldn't be obvious.
--Madani's helicopter arriving at the station. (2002, colorized)

#2.04 "Scar Tissue":
--Russo's scars aren't that bad (without extreme lighting to exaggerate the texture via shadows), & this prick on the bus is probably the only person we will ever see on this show who will even think to bug him about it. This is a recurring thing in stories about people who get disfigured--this, Deadpool, the awful Airbender movie--the scarring really isn't very bad.
--Madani really isn't good at her job, but I wouldn't trust Rafi at this point either if I was her.
--Billy's & Amy's flashbacks are revelatory.
--Amy sleeping under the bed to feel safe kinda tugs at the heartstrings.
--Why is Curtis's coatrack outside the front door?
--Not like Russo's scumbag Little League coach deserves mercy, but this won't be his last kill.
--Dang, Frank's arm. Wow.
--Ok, Amy finally knows she's been rolling with the Punisher.
--Should a DHS agent's body armor say "Police" on it? And shouldn't an NYPD detective's body armor say "Police" on it?
--"Sometimes" is a very fair answer, Frank.
--Dumont's gonna turn into Harley Quinn.

#2.05 "One-Eyed Jacks":
--Three-Card Monte is not a follow-the-card game; it's a sleight-of-hand game.
--Madani, are you sleepwalking with a gun? Oh, wait, it's a dream.
--What the crap is Pilgrim beating himself for?
--Amy dressing up as Madani is kind of adorable.
--Why would they blame Turk for this?
--I feel like Curtis's support group would be good for Madani; too bad she's never gonna come back again.
--Oof, Russo's gonna recruit a bunch of disaffected, alienated guys like Lewis.
--Oof, Turk's shop is gonna get wrecked.
--A gym is an incredibly dangerous place for a fight, especially if you intend for those involved to survive. (I did not need the closeup on the bruiser's weight-battered face.)
--This is Turk's last appearance; let's hear it for Rob Morgan.
--I have acrophobia too, but it doesn't manifest anywhere near as badly as Dumont's; as long as I know a sturdy barrier is present, I'm fine.
--Oof, poor Russian gym guys.

#2.06 "Nakazat":
--Frank cannot kick down this steel door, just like a bunch of unarmed civilians can't fold a wrought-iron gate in half.
--We get here a little glimpse of what Frank did to the kiddie porn dealer in season 1.
--The walking-away-from-the-fire music blended perfectly into the theme song.
--Well, dang. Good on you, Curtis.
--Did Billy's scars magically get worse since the last episode?
--JackieFrank teaches CarterAmy how to disarm a foe.
--Amy's quick-change routine is pretty brilliant.
--This scene of Pilgrim & Madani has no tension whatsoever, because they aren't really connected at all. And his line about repentance doesn't work, because she's not the one who did something wrong. She actually does her job correctly afterwards.
--David Schulz being gay isn't a deal-breaker in American politics (at least not anymore; it's 2018, after all), but it'd be an embarrassment to his alt-right, fake-news-peddling, evangelical parents, & that's why they covered it up.
--Ugh, Billy screws over Jimbo, & Dumont screws over Mahoney, & Billy screws Dumont.
--"You can't fight a war on two fronts." If only the showrunner realized that.

#2.07 "One Bad Day":
--Ok, Madani's debriefing was 1 year ago. Some of these questions are both embarrassing & irrelevant, & sliding a active recorder across a table will render the recording dangerous to listen to on headphones.
--Well, dang. "Psycho sex." ~my wife
--This medical examiner is precious.
--Madani is the first woman I've ever seen who can't recall being catcalled.
--Wait, that's how to pronounce chutzpah?
--Ok, are we done with Jake now?
--Madani is just stuck in a loop at this point.
--Lillian had things completely under control until her idiot employee ruined it.

#2.08 "My Brother's Keeper":
--That gun magazine looks like a film reel.
--Dang, if the cops hadn't distracted Billy, Curtis could've ended this plotline right now.
--Seriously, it's like he took a marker to his scars.
--Quality usage of classic White Stripes.
--Whigham was 20 at time of filming & looks it, but the show is taking great pains to make Amy seem *much* younger: her minced oaths, these overalls, & a general refusal to sexualize her, even as we still flashback to Madani's S1 sex scenes. Even in the scene with the creepy photographer, Amy was never anything less than modestly clothed. It's actually rather refreshing, though a bit of a surprising contrast to how Runaways treats Karolina (Gardner was 21-24, but explicitly playing 16).
--Oof, Curtis's girl dumped him for keeping her safe from Jigsaw.
--Brett, you're justified in your anger with Madani, but you know full well that the Punisher does have a code.
--Luke made a hole in the drywall like that when he was holding back.
--A nice quiet moment of Frank at the graves.

#2.09 "Flustercluck" [sic]:
--Well, dang. "More crazy psycho sex." ~my wife
--Papa Schulz is a real piece of work, passive-aggressively stringing Pilgrim along & aggressive-aggressively browbeating his son, all while preaching the prosperity gospel heresy.
--Russo is calling his hangout "Valhalla"? Oh, Thor is NOT gonna be happy if he hears about this.
--Shantel is not a good actress, but I can't tell if it's the character or the actress who isn't good at acting.
--Glad that most of Curt's group is smart enough not to fall for Billy's crap.
--"No, you just shot him. See that? I killed him." That is the sweetest thing Frank Castle has ever done.
--The tats pretty much gave it away already, but Pilgrim used to be in a white supremacist gang, & they have a very different definition of "sin" than he uses now. (Hard to believe somebody in *Georgia* of all places would've taken issue with him on that 12 years ago, though.)
--"I'm not the one who dies, kid; I'm the one who does the killing" is no "I'm the guy who kills Gordon."

#2.10 "The Dark Hearts of Men":
--So, Marines have fight clubs just like prisoners do?
--John, Schulz expected you to die. You have to understand that.
--Dumont's assumption that no one ever does anything based on logic, but only based on emotion, is inherently flawed; it falsely assumes that everyone feels emotion the same way, or that no one has ever acted against their own self-interest. Her thesis that nobody is ever happy is wrong too. But then again, Dumont is even worse at her job than Madani is.
--John, having to kill a bunch of people (especially when you have already been killing a bunch of people) doesn't mean you suddenly have to commit every other sin as well.
--Despite losing his memory of running Anvil, Billy is basically starting a new Anvil, with more than a touch of Project Mayhem.
--Gotta admit, Billy's trap was actually pretty clever, both the physical part (the lights & music) & the psychological part (the planted corpses).

#2.11 "The Abyss":
--Ok, well, Frank getting arrested is an instant-loss condition for Pilgrim & Schulz, right?
--Rebecca's dead, but Eliza is too chicken to tell John that over the phone.
--Focusing on the victims being women doesn't make sense; Frank had no trouble killing the female mercs at the start of the season. We should be focusing on them being *civilians*.
--"Special Agent in Charge" is a very cumbersome title of address.
--They like milking that footage of Maria.
--If Frank learns anything from this, hopefully it's that sometimes people get framed.
--I feel like Ed was gonna be Maury, but they couldn't get the actor back.
--Eliza is not as good at this as Anderson is; Pilgrim came VERY close to shooting her dead.
--If Karen & Amy weren't gonna get that guard fired, the dirty guard definitely will.
--Frank knows that Matt Murdock is active again & that Karen is working with him again; this must be after DD3.
--As ever, Karen & Frank's bizarre friendship is very engaging to watch.
--Pilgrim storms a hospital just like Frank himself did back in the day...& finds a clown.

#2.12 "Collision Course":
--Yet another recycled episode title.
--The entire ambulance sequence with Brett & Frank is wonderful.
--"You weren't gonna tell me Frank escaped?" She literally JUST found out, Billy.
--Dumont showed her hand. Madani didn't.
--"Like Peter, you deny this man." No, Peter was trying to protect himself, not Jesus.
--If Pilgrim wasn't already wearing the brass, Curtis would've won that fight.
--Amy's plan is brilliant because it's so stupid.
--David Schulz finally knows what his parents are.
--The Madani-vs-Dumont cat fight is downright embarrassing. Madani, you were within arms reach of a block of knives & a hot teakettle, & you instead strained to reach for a book!? Dumont, you had a block of knives on the counter, & you instead took the time to pull one from the drawer!? Madani, you're a trained agent, & you can't fend off this idiot who's never been in a fight before!?
--That fall just looks terrible.

#2.13 "The Whirlwind":
--"You had to make it about her!" "No, actually, she tried to kill me, & I defended myself."
--Well, bang. Madani made up for her incompetence in the last fight by putting up a hell of a struggle against Russo.
--The Schulzes are sitting here planning to steal Pilgrim's kids while Frank has already stolen their kid, so they threaten to kill Pilgrim's kids.
--"You're very much out of your depth, Mr. Castle." Tell that to William Rawlins.
--Ah, the old door-between-adjoining-hotel-rooms trick; that's the 2nd time I've fallen for that this week.
--The elevator door opening with the cops was just brilliant.
--Billy, at least use a *local* anesthetic. Even this shady underground doctor knows "this is stupid!"
--"He's the Punisher; he's gonna, like, righteously pull your spine out of your throat." Amy has been a joy this season.
--Curtis may've saved several lives with his gambit, not just David's.
--The Punisher vs the Mennonite. A brutal slugfest between two unrelenting forces. It's simple, but it's effective.
--Dumont was wrong again. Bye, Billy.
--Anderson & Eliza's demise is simply beautiful as Frank details the exact depth of their sinful pride, & that of so many real-world people just like them.
--This ending scene of The Punisher is kinda cool, but also kinda weird. Madani is suddenly with the CIA, & the massacre of these gangs is really jarring to cut into a memorial title for Stan.

Executive summary: Either the Russo plot or the Pilgrim plot could've made an excellent 10-episode season, like IF2. Combining them in a single 13-episode season, however, does not work; since both issues require Castle's full attention, each plotline just gets put on pause repeatedly as he switches between them. They did nail what it takes to make the Punisher sympathetic though; having him either avenging his family or protecting a kid.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Ant-Man 3 is scheduled to film next summer.
Part 53 brings some much needed resolution to a plodding plot thread....


Runaways season 3 part 1:

#3.01 "Smoke and Mirrors":
--So yeah, each season 1 episode title was 1 words, each season 2 title was 2 words, & each season 3 title is 3 words. This one is yet another repeat title, though.
--You can tell this is a fantasy because Alex is talking despite no longer having lungs, & because there are actual consequences for the Pride's actions.
--Is Nico in the FrameworkAlgorithm too? No, wait, this is just a dream.
--Satan from Bedazzled is on this show. The Arthurian mythological character Morgan le Fay is also in Marvel Comics, but she has never interacted with the Runaways.
--AxXavin is, for once, the rational one.
--"Why doesn't anyone use horns anymore?" Ska is not dead, Dale. And neither is They Might Be Giants.
--The Gibs eating breakfast.
--"That was my crew." You really aren't helping yourself, Geoffrey.
--Leslie found out she was pregnant like a week ago, & she's about to go into labor.
--Dale teaching Gert how to drive is actually kinda cute.
--Gert never saw the press conference; this bait & switch shouldn't work on the audience.
--The Framework could barely process May on her own from Radcliffe's house & required massive global server farms to support 8 minds; the Algorithm is correspondingly breaking down with 3 people on a single home's power.
--"I lamp you!" Daw.

#3.02 "The Great Escape":
--The Magistrate's family speaks as if they weren't exiled from whatever authority they once had. They also speak as if all 4 of them are completely without any affection for each other.
--Also worth noting, Clarissa Thibeaux has replaced Kip Pardue in the credits; Frank is done.
--Solid Jurassic Park reference.
--Xavin doing their best Counselor Troi impression up in here.
--K-pop isn't "barbaric sound torture", but K-pop stans on Twitter are barbaric social media torture.
--Alex, how could you possible know this is math-based if you don't know what the symbols are?
--Sponsored by La Croix.
--Karolina with dying fake Nico is a direct lift of Mack with dying fake Hope.
--Looks like Darkforce coming off of that staff.
--*coughAncestralPlanecough*
--Did nobody see Janet's freaking body dissolve!?
--Wait, did Catherine just...accept responsibility for her actions!?
--Can we stop pretending Chase was the traitor when he actively refused to betray anyone?

#3.03 "Lord of Lies":
--None of these alternate hairstyles work for Alex at all.
--Suicide hurts your loved ones, & so does murder.
--I am so tired of Alex & Chase's macho posturing.
--Ok, the 4th Gib physically can't be Karolina, Leslie, or Xavin, & we can be reasonably sure it's not Nico or Chase, either. That narrows the field to Alex, Gert, & Molly.
--"After all I've done for you..." What? You've literally done nothing except send creepy messages.
--Morgan keeps turning into crows like it's the end of We're Back or something.
--Oh hey, I didn't expect to ever see Susan again.
--Morgan's got some Loki mojo going on.
--"That sounds dangerous." Well, yeah, the 4th dimension is TIME, so screwing with it *is* dangerous.
--That's not how parking works, Chase.
--Tamar sends her regards. That's three down.
--And it's Alex. There we go.
--This isn't technically an IM2 reference; Randy's Donuts is a major LA landmark.

#3.04 "Rite of Thunder":
--"I'd congratulate you, but you're a pretty bad parent, so this isn't great for anybody." That's funny right there.
--If the son likes Alex's body so much, he's not gonna be happy about what using his powers does to it.
--"It's like killing a vampire with a silver bullet." That's not how you killed Topher, dude.
--Bad touch, Morgan.
--Tamar's response to seeing Alex pull up.
--Props to Leslie for seeing through Possessed Alex's crap.
--Karolina, you were supposed to go around the other way.
--This is kinda like the imprinting crap from Twilight, but less child-groomy & more adoptiony.
--This Billy Joel cover is just as dull & plodding as most of the music on this show.
--Come on, Xavin, shapeshift into a bird or something to follow them!
--"We're clearly just not endgame." Well, that's true; Endgame doesn't happen until near the end of this rewatch, & you're not in it.
--"This family returns from exile together." Who says you're allowed to come back from exile?
--When did Gert learn to use a butterfly knife?
--"Tenebrae" means "darkness" or "shadows," & it looks like it let Morgan out of that mirror.
--Imagine getting promoted to opening credits just to be written off the show. Sorry, TaraXavin.

#3.05 "Enter the Dreamland":
--I summon Quinton, the GreatExecutive Producer!
--Nico's evil grandmother is actually a thing (in the comics, they meet through time-travel). They gave her name to Nico's aunt for some reason, though (the aunt is Brittany Ishibashi's real-life sister, so that's cool).
--Raise your hand if you ever expected to see Destiny Gonzalez again (I better not see anybody's hands up).
--They cast Grandpa Stein really well; he genuinely looks like he's related to Marsters & Sulkin.
--"We have knives" is fantastic.
--This is a lot for a 15-year-old 12-year-old girl being treated as a 4-year-old to handle.
--"Imagine where you want to go, step into the shadow, step out" sounds like Cloak's teleportation.
--Gert, Chase, & Nico (kinda) got warped into their parents' nightmares, but Karolina & Molly got warped into their own nightmares, & we still have no clue where Alex is. Yay for inconsistency!
--"Some call it the Dark Dimension". This is NOT the Dark Dimension; it's closer to the Darkforce Dimension, but as usual, the Runaways writers didn't do any effing research.
--"Can you hand me the bonesaw?" Sure, bonesaw is ready.
--"I'll love you no matter what" does not mean "I'll keep kissing you if you transform into a cannibalistic serial killer."
--The corpses hanging from the bridge might be the Gibs, because we never see them again after this episode.
--No, Molly, they weren't as bad; they immediately began looking for a way out.
--Molly forgot Stacey, who she saw yesterday, but not Amy, who she hasn't seen in over 2 years.
--When blood is shed, let the Staff of One emerge.
--Crap, now the Pride knows where the Hostel is.
--6 months!? Wow. I guess we'll have to come back here later.

Executive summary: Now we have some classic Runaways shenanigans. Rhenzy is killin' it this season; the shifts between Alex, the Evil Son, & the Evil Son Pretending to Be Alex are great. And the Gibborim are finally gone, after a measly 2.5 seasons!


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Marvel Studios is officially not presenting at CC@H, but Hulu will be doing a Helstrom presentation on Friday 7/24 in the afternoon.
Part 54 is our last Netflix entry....


Jessica Jones season 3:

#3.01 "AKA The Perfect Burger":
--Ooh, a beach.
--"You think you can judge me?" Not until you asked that question, lady.
--Glad Vido's still around, & while Jess & Oscar might not've worked out, at least it was the healthiest relationship of her life.
--What law did Jessica break? Oh, right, the Sokovia Accords.
--Dat Snick couch tho.
--"Something happened regarding your mother's death, but Trish had nothing to do with it." Dorothy, you were *almost* sympathetic.
--This is cowardly, Jeri, & incredibly cruel to ask of someone else.
--That's a bizarre "jump" for Jessica to have made without some kind of horizontal propulsion. Hmm.
--I like that the jerk ballplayer's date is smart enough not to ride with him drunk.
--And now, Malcolm Ducasse in Every Car Crash Commercial.
--Pretty sure this bartender was supposed to be Josie, but they couldn't get the actress back.
--Dude at the bar is kinda great.
--Dang, looks like that kid's dad really was bad news after all!

#3.02 "AKA You're Welcome":
--Directed by Krysten Ritter, so Jessica is barely in this one, which is odd for detective noir. Ritter definitely learned from the better of this show's bullpen, grabbing the cool mystery angles when she can.
--We're flashing back through the past year since S2. Even in her own inner monologue, Trish can't admit to the enormity of her wrongdoing.
--Hellcat's powers include enhanced reflexes, agility, endurance, & senses (especially night vision).
--Unlike Jess, who waits for people to ask for help, Trish is going out looking for trouble like a beat cop, & we already have too many of them.
--Trish does need a disguise lest her own fame give her away, but the comic-accurate Hellcat costume *is* pretty silly.
--Of course Trish hates the part of Jess's job that ensures she actually gets the right people.
--Ugh, that smug "you're welcome."
--Well, dang. That's inappro-pro.
--"Is it still available in bordeaux?" "That's my favorite color!" Ok, but is it still available?
--What the hell is happening to you, Malcolm?

#3.03 "AKA I Have No Spleen":
--My spleen just doesn't matter, don't really care about my bladder, but I don't leave home without my pancreas.
--This isn't just a truck hitting you, Jess; you gotta rest.
--Well, dang, that's an awkward HR convo waiting to happen.
--"A hero has a g****** spleen."
--That burger did sound freaking delicious; I'm impressed it held up so well cold. Erik knows what he's talking about, & he's good with boundaries too.
--Ugh, Hogarth is gonna try to break up Kith & her husband. The reveal about their open marriage is a nice wake-up call for Jeri.
--Dat mustard stain tho.
--Well, dang. Cello, is it me you're looking for?
--This doctor is great.
--AKA The Peanut Gallery.

#3.04 "AKA Customer Service is Standing By":
--What's more innocent than kids playing by the pool?
--Daw, Jessica is confirmed a good person by super-radar-migraines.
--Trish's chronic inability to mind her own freaking business is gonna get Erik in more trouble.
--Malcolm & Zaya are cute.
--Jess & Erik hunting his marks is kinda cool.
--Malcolm has the perfect reaction to finding out Trish of all people got powers.
--How long of a day was this if 12 hours after Jess & Erik talked in sunlight was still sunlight?
--Kith, that's unsanitary.
--Sallinger projects his own faults onto others & has an entitlement complex the likes of which I haven't seen since the last time I got into an argument with alt-right trolls. He also went too far with the 911 call; his own cameras will prove him wrong. Emergency response doesn't look too kindly on false reports.
--"Are you a family member?" "No, I just need to know if she's okay." "Ma'am, that's a HIPAA violation."
--Sallinger thinks he's figured Jess out, but she has something he doesn't know about, & it just sold her a sweater.

#3.05 "AKA I Wish":
--If literally anyone got into a tangle with Sallinger on the street right now, he's screwed.
--Peter arguing with Jeri is ridiculous because they're both vile.
--Trish is taking a lot of photos that Jess already has; Sallinger's trophy album is the only important part.
--Are people with names like Gor required by law to become hulking brutes or what?
--What kind of hotel has communal showers?
--Peter, whistleblowing isn't a disregard for due process. And you don't have the right to paint a target on a bunch of powered people just to distract from your own crimes.
--Props to Melissa Rosenberg for not repeating the mistake of Brian Yorkey.
--Well, dang. The burger was that good, eh?
--Kith, like, obviously Jeri did it, but Peter didn't *actually* have proof of that.
--Gotta hand it to you, Greg.
--If you could've destroyed the bodies all along, why wait until somebody found them?
--"I wish I didn't kill your mom." Wow.
--I pity the fool who doesn't realize why he's getting a headache in his hotel room.

#3.06 "AKA Sorry Face":
--Yeah, if Costa hadn't made a promise to the hubby, he'd be drinking with you.
--Sallinger's rhetoric is familiar; he's an incel.
--Malcolm, just tell Zaya you're on vacation & Hogarth already knows about it.
--"That's exactly the level of discourse I expected." Well, it's the level you DESERVE, based on YOUR ACTIONS.
--Holy crap, Malcolm, what the hell?
--Geri, you brought bagels to a funeral?
--"All I'm seeing now is vanity & lies." But everything he's saying is true.
--Papa Sallinger, if Gregory isn't lying.
--The chef's story really emphasizes how narcissistic & shallow Sallinger really is; he called the guy a fraud & tried to kill him over a single mistake. All his bluster about "bringing pain to power" & "having the only superpower that isn't a fraud" is all a smokescreen, a rationalization so he can dismiss hard evidence that what he's doing is wrong without having to admit he does it because he likes it.
--"The DA took one look at this case & passed." As ever, Tower is a coward.
--Benowitz is a welcome moment of levity, but Danny's gonna be pissed when he gets back.
--Trish, Erik will die if he goes to jail, full stop.

#3.07 "AKA The Double Half-Wappinger":
--Hogarth, you massive heap of garbage.
--More MRA garbage from Sallinger. Even Geri ain't putting up with that.
--"When you cozy up to maniacs, you get hurt." That's not hypothetical, solid S1 callback.
--Wappinger Falls is a real place, even though it's the fakest-sounding name in the entire MCU.
--Leveraging Trish's *other* superpower: Patsy.
--"They're just casulties of biochemical mishaps." Tell that to Iron Man, War Machine, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Vision, Ant-Man, Falcon, & Iron Fist. I'm glad Malcolm inserted himself into this conversation, if only to throw Sallinger off for a second.
--AKA Gazebo is a Fun Word.
--Go with the all-white one, Trish; the others are ugly as sin.
--This power-hungry small-town cop is the first time police have been depicted as obstructive to justice in a Netflix show. Not coincidentally, the department depicted thusly isn't the NYPD.
--If what Sallinger means by "I bring pain to power" is "I kill anyone who outperforms me," then yes.
--Trish's weird little photo session is stupid.
--The "fair fight" challenge is very Yon-Rogg.

#3.08 "AKA Camera Friendly":
--Cats, yeah, Dorothy gets it!
--Sallinger is going to kill somebody because he felt embarrassed, yet another page right out of the alt-white-supremacist handbook.
--What's the only way to neutralize Dorothy? Make a live performance depend on her.
--InstaYap sounds like some useless garbage.
--"BigTimeWrassler", nice.
--Gillian actually brings the bourbon, I love it. She's been delightful.
--Dorothy had very realistic expectations for Jess's interview & is appropriately proud that she accomplished her goal; it's kinda sweet.
--Jess jumps straight up with Trish. Unless she then altered her trajectory mid-air (AKA flying), they would've just come straight back down.
--"Jessica Jones, a former client of mine..." ...isn't that privileged information?
--Aw, Jess appreciates Dorothy for once, too.
--It's dark out at 7pm in NYC. People have been saying this season was set in June, but the sun stays up past 8 then; it has to be earlier in the year.
--Poor Dorothy.

#3.09 "AKA I Did Something Today":
--Not like Sallinger doesn't have it coming, but Jess is right; murder isn't the best solution.
--"They'll put you away, or worse; that's what they do to people like us." The glory of the Accords.
--Looks like you were wrong about Jessica's "true nature."
--Never. Turn. Off. Your. Body. Cam.
--In this clip, Kith will be played by Donald Faison.
--Well, now we finally got Erik's backstory. Wow, man.
--See, they noticed the poo puddle immediately, not right before it exploded, Alice & Gene Hernandez.
--Not gonna lie, I thought Jessica was gonna find some way to cheat Sallinger instead of actually doing it.
--Part of what Erik senses is guilt & empathy. Jess still has those even when she's forced to do something bad.
--Now THOSE are scars. Take that, Jigsaw.
--Malcolm twisting the knife on Hogarth is great.
--Oof, hopefully Costa's life doesn't get ruined by this.
--Trish, you are just so dumb.

#3.10 "AKA Hero Pants":
--"Not that fast." Jess isn't too put off by the spleen loss after a couple weeks, but if she's torn up her hands last night, they'd still show marks.
--Several of Patsy's songs? I thought she only had 2?
--Erik isn't physically capable of killing somebody like Nussbaumer, at least not at melee range; his headaches would be too severe.
--Dorothy's ringtone was "Cray-Cray"!
--Geri might genuinely be repentant for once in her life, but she still doesn't really understand *how* to be.
--Well, dang.
--Dorothy was an abusive mother, but an outstanding agent.
--Well, dang. Genuinely never expected to see Brianna again.
--Jess is gonna need an alibi real soon before she gets shipped off to the Raft forever.
--Yep, it's Patsy.

#3.11 "Hellcat":
--Flashback time: It only took us until the 44th 42nd episode out of the 48 44 Karen Trish appears in to find out why she's like this. (I mean, we already knew, but still.)
--Don't cross out all parentheticals, but that swoon WAS terrible.
--Sallinger had prepared for Ganondorf & instead got Sheik.
--If the best response you have to being accused of wife-beating is "she's not my wife", then screw you.
--Sallinger got a "sorry face" out of Dorothy? Ha, doubt it!
--Heh, actual Patsy comics.
--Nussbaummer might be the first piece of crap NYPD officer in the franchise who wasn't being directly paid off by one of the shows' villains.
--The lead actor absolutely should NOT call out the rest of the cast & crew for things.
--Even Erik, who literally gets high off these guys' deaths, wants Trish to stop.
--Credits: If you told me in 2015 that the "It's Patsy" theme would become the most chilling piece of music I'd heard in ages....

#3.12 "AKA A Lotta Worms":
--Yeah, sure, ask a favor of the person you just tried to falsely convict for murder when that would've meant she got locked in the Raft forever.
--Ring out. Jess wins this round.
--Sallinger is forced to admit he doesn't know something about Jessica...but he's still an ungrateful, spiteful SOB.
--Greg, that "intentionally indifferent rebel rock garb" is her dead boyfriend's jacket, you idiot.
--"You pretend like you never wanted it?" What 14 year old wants their whole family to die in front of them, you sicko?
--"It's messed up." "Then let me go." "That would be more messed up." Spot on, Malcolm.
--Now who's predictable, you smug jerk?
--Ugh, Jessica did all that work, & Trish's clueless co-host ruined it.
--Everyone's in heavy coats; who the crap was saying this is June!?
--Rest in pieces, Sallinger.

#3.13 "AKA Everything":
--Luke is here to give great advice, acknowledge the risks of his current situation, & reopen my dreams of the Jones-Cage marriage.
--Trish is starting to rationalize like, & even talk like, Sallinger. You can't "cheat" bleeding from the eyes.
--Patseras got as lucky as that chef, though Patseras is actually guilty.
--I love when Hogarth's crap comes back on her. I don't love it when she escapes by throwing Jessica in immediate physical harm's way yet again. Thank goodness Kith didn't fall for any of it.
--Oof, sorry, Malcolm. And even more sorry, Zaya.
--That webcast was the point of no return.
--A red wig? Trish, that's what most people think you look like anyway!
--"No drugs." Credit where it's due, Trish knows better than to expose herself to drugs again.
--Jess catching up to Trish. (Stop at 0:20)
--In this clip, Byleth will play the role of Jessica, Captain Falcon will play the role of Trish, & the punch will play the role of the knife. (Stop at 16:33)
--Costa says it outright: The Accords have screwed powered people out of due process completely.
--Medical advice: Kung pao chicken is not an adequate form of first aid for injuries.
--Jessica's departure almost ends the Netflix sub-franchise on a really depressing beat before she realizes that's exactly what Kilgrave would want her to do. Now to get that key back from Malcolm.
--Aww, Stan.

Executive summary: Netflix goes out on a high note, as the MCU's premier detective takes down an all-too-timely serial killer before getting punched right in the emotional face yet again. The cast slays. The story beats were much better paced than season 2.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 55 ends our last time-travel shenanigan...for now.....


Agents of SHIELD season 5, part 3:

#5.11 "All the Comforts of Home":
--Oh crap, this random girl's mom is the general who killed those two who were chasing Fitz.
--Team Coulson has returned; the present is now officially 2018.
--A projected video of King of the Winos Johnny Johnson is on this show.
--A 3rd monolith? What the crap does it do?
--"We have a small but active fanbase." I see you, May.
--"An Asgardian spotted in the city." That would've been Thor's field trip with Loki.
--Dat title card tho. Welcome to Urf.
--The obvious choice for an aerospace facility in St. Louis is Boeing, but the video footage provided looks nothing like the location of Boeing HQ near the airport. The closest match I could find (near a highway, small strip of water, asterisk intersection, no sign of either river) is Neal Carden Aerospace.
--May's least favorite activity of the past 5 years was dancing.
--Well, look who didn't explode! (Solid Quantum Leap reference.)
--Yeah, Deke, I'm right there with you on beer. Lucky for Deke, this happened right in the middle of the 2-year Zima re-release.
--You don't have to be faster if the faster person is predictable.
--Yo-Yo has metal arms in the comics. Pretty sure we're en route to that.
--Locking your assassin daughter in a vault for failing to kill people is what some would call abusive parenting.
--Well, bang. Poor Noah.
--Oh snap it's Creel, & he's getting duped like Piper!

#5.12 "The Real Deal":
--All dem title cards tho. This is episode 100.
--This dimensional rift thing is full-blown SCP.
--Oh yeah, Elena met her future self! Is she ever gonna tell the others what she told herself?
--The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
--Daisy & Coulson's argument is appropriately stressful, & it brings us to the long-awaited reveal...the price Coulson paid to host the Ghost Rider was to lose the GH drug in his system. He is now slowly re-dying from the spear wound Loki gave him.
--"Don't get too close." *stuffs it into his pants*
--"Five by five."
--Fake Mike's argument falls apart when you consider that Coulson couldn't have predicted the Convergence, or the fall of SHIELD, or the resurgence of Hydra, or Ultron, or the Sokovia Accords.
--Manifested fears include a Kreeper (everyone), a Simmons LMD (Elena), a forest (Deke), Lash (Simmons), Hive (Coulson), Vrellnexians (everyone), & the concept that this is all a dream (Coulson).
--Welcome back, Davis & Deathlok! Wait, Davis?
--Real Mike taking out Fake Mike was a beautiful moment, as was the ensuing tag team with Coulson.
--FitzSimmons' wedding is getting me a little moist-eyed.
--Oh snap, Deke is their grandson!

#5.13 "Principia":
--Werner/Alex getting his brain scrambled in the memory machine gave him total recall, which he's treating as some kind of horror.
--A touching moment between fellow involuntary amputees.
--Simmons, you dirty bird.
--Ruby clearly knows he's there; this is obviously some kind of test.
--Jake Busey is on this show as Willy Wonka
--Coulson explicitly does not want to be resurrected again, especially not via anything Deathlok-related. Daisy & May won't accept that.
--Fitz's temper is getting worse.
--We haven't had enough sweet SimmonsFitz moments lately; this is nice.
--Alex/Werner literally doesn't care anymore, as long as he doesn't have to deal with Hydra anymore.
--"The steps you take don't need to be big; they just need to take you in the right direction." We've heard that before.
--Ruby's honey-trap act is something.
--How to die of hypoxia: Be stranded at the height of Mount Everest for 4 years. How not to die of hypoxia: Wear a loose strap of cloth across your face that's open at the sides.
--Coulson's jokes are too legit to quit.
--Mack can't make Fitz-level prosthetics, but he can tinker with these robot arms.

#5.14 "The Devil Complex":
--Malteasers sound delicious, Hobnobs just sound like crumbly breakfast biscuits, & Twiglets sound revolting.
--Glad they were able to pick up some redshirts so the fear manifestations could actually kill somebody.
--Oh snap it's Evil Hydra Doctor Fitz
--"What's next, blasting death metal?" I see Hale heard about what happened with Frank Castle.
--"Like [...] my world wasn't real." It wasn't, though.
--"I have simply redefined what [superior humanity] means." ~Ivanov
--"Or just another Russian infiltrating our democracy?" Nice one, May.
--How do you program a murder drone to do a delicate sleeper hold?
--Even captured & helpless, Coulson manages to humiliate Ivanov. I love it.
--Doctor Fitz operating on Daisy is terrifying all on its own, & then she says it..."Who are you talking to?" These guys have not had a moment to recuperate since the beginning of season 4, & Fitz in particular already had brain damage. This is the result.
--It's disgusting how long those wires are.
--Deke letting in Simmons on the reveal is the silver lining to this crapstorm that just happened. Simmons reaction is perfect.
--...Odium!? Kasius may've been exiled from his family, but it seems his family was itself already exiled from the rest of the Kree.

#5.15 "Rise & Shine":
--Flashback episode: Hydra Academy is very silly. They cast Baby Sitwell perfectly, though, & the girl playing Baby Hale is really good.
--28 years ago is 1990. The Tesseract is currently hidden away in Mar-Vell's laboratory; Strucker is really dumb.
--Not sure how I feel about the dog murder being an official final exam instead of something a survivalist like Garrett cooked up on his own.
--3 months ago could be 2017 or 2018 at this point.
--Ruby clearly knows he's there; this is obviously some kind of test.
--Even brain damaged, Talbot still knows the real Daisy would never have shot him. That's actually sweet, as is his certainty that Coulson will rescue him.
--24 hours ago is spring 2018.
--Ruby clearly knows he's there, & Coulson sees right through the stupid test.
--"Hidden" symbolism: Hydra is best known to the world as a Nazi agency, & they're teaming up with a group called the Confederacy. Just sayin'.
--Hale's face when Coulson said he killed Whitehall.
--Coulson's face when Hale said "Destroyer of Worlds."
--Hale's history of dealing with sexism is valid, but she's letting that stop her from accepting important information. Don't let your personal trauma ENDANGER ALL OF HUMANITY, SHINJI.
--"the Destroyer of Worlds"
--"How are we still fighting Nazis today?" Amen, Daisy.

#5.16 "Inside Voices":
--Franklin Hall is still alive in the Gravitonium, & now he's semi-possessing Creel.
--FitzSimmons' & Elena's "invincibility" thing is more than a bit scary, because they keep forgetting their goal is to *change* the future, so the proof that they succeed might be their own deaths.
--"Take these to be translated; I don't speak German." That's impressive that he had ever even read those notes in the German, much less remembered it.
--"The Destroyer of Worlds"?
--Elena keeps bringing up that she saw herself in the future, but she keeps forgetting to bring up what her future self said.
--Solid Dr. Horrible reference.
--Robin's depressed because the last thing she saw was her own death. Her reaction to May has gotta suck for Polly too.
--Simmons little game of Russian Roulette is freaking terrifying. Fitz legit thought his wife was dying.
--Agent Poor Trigger Discipline.
--When did Hale give Coulson his hand back?
--"You know, you die more than anybody I've ever met." "You know the Earth is 70% water, right?" For a guy with a scrambled brain, Talbot's making a lot of sense.
--"I'm the Destroyer of Worlds."
--"White sandy beaches & palm trees." "That's not really my thing anymore."
--"Four years ago" isn't an exaggeration. This was a deleted scene from season 1; David Conrad retired & Ruth Negga is now above this show's pay grade.

#5.17 "The Honeymoon":
--"No trouble with the straps this time." Daw.
--Quake vs Ruby is pretty much a curbstomp; I think the kid landed like one blow.
--Davis is an trainee pilot, & Piper is a trainee medic. Smart way to keep the team from being completely crippled when May or Simmons are unavailable, without making the mauve shirts OP either.
--"We rescued Talbot & got intel on Hale." "And nearly lost Deke in the process." Worth it.
--SHE SAID THE THING.
--There's only so much "everything is predetermined" I can take, & Simmons agrees with me.
--Nothing says "massive tactical blunder born of desperation" like stitching your real head to your robot body. Adios, Señor "Superior Man." (I wasn't sure if that was oil or blood on the ground until I realized it was red.)
--Even doped-up survivalist Deke understands consent. Also, I think we learned something about Piper today.
--Oof, Hale had access to Whitehall's brainwashing tech.

#5.18 "All Roads Lead..."
--How did Hale even know about Robin to send Talbot after her?
--The core of this device looks a lot like an arc reactor, but if Hydra had figured out that technology that long ago, they could've used it way back when to take over the world already.
--Daisy is making solid plans, but she also is bad at managing. Both of these things can be true.
--The entire lemons conversation is genius for all 3 characters involved.
--Daisy & May are pissed off.
--"The Destroyer of Worlds."
--FitzSimmons would've gotten away with their scheme if Alex/Werner hadn't paid close enough attention to the sketches.
--"I have a boy, George." Is he a karma chameleon?
--"Is that even possible?" "Assume the answer to that question's always yes." Mack knows what's up.
--Robin answered when but not who.
--Daisy with the sick burn on Hale's parenting skills.
--"Hydra had him for 6 months." Give or take a couple months, but yeah that works.
--Steve Rogers powered through this pain. Ruby Hale passed out 8% of the way through.
--Ruby fell because she looked down.
--Poor Werner/Alex. That's one of the most gruesome deaths I've ever seen.
--Coulson really is putting himself in a lot of sacrifice positions.
--"the Destroyer."
--Yo-Yo, just because you (think you) saved the world doesn't mean you didn't kill Ruby.
--Hale, how do you know where the base is? You couldn't have gotten that info from Talbot; he didn't have it.

Executive summary: This stretch of episodes dragged a little bit, largely due to repetitiveness, small-ly due to the Hales being kinda weak antagonists. Very good character work across the board, though, with special attention to Coulson, Fitz, & Talbot.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Some promo photos for Helstrom have been released in advance of the CC&H panel next weekend.
Part 56 leads right up to the next couple things....


Ant-Man & the Wasp:

--Flashback: It's kinda weird how they superimposed Douglas's & Pfeiffer's faces onto other actors. Downey & Jackson did their own young-self acting.
--Oh, also, Michelle Pfeiffer is in this movie.
--Studio logo: Yeah, I guess it has been 10 years.
--Scott & Cassie's opening "heist" is parenting goals.
--"Soup to nuts"?
--I've known youth pastors who are worse with kids than Woo is, & that's not a compliment to Woo.
--It's a good thing Scott has a roommate, or else he wouldn't be able to get his own mail.
--Scott's daily routine.
--The timing of this dream sequence is purr-fect.
--Luis thinks Scott is now The Fly.
--Hope, he wasn't "relaxing at home" voluntarily.
--I love how the lab is a hodgepodge of normal parts & enlarged paperclips & collander panels & such. And the suitcase handle is great, too. And the Hot Wheels case.
--Bathos is the MCU's bread & butter, as well as one of my favorite devices. Scott's hide-&-seek line is a wonderful example thereof.
--"Oui" is a terrible name for a restaurant.
--"Hell, SHIELD & Hydra don't even exist anymore." That you know of, Sonny. The misconception is justifiable, though; the former has been officially disbanded & its remaining members framed for terrorism, & the latter has been reduced to a single cell that doesn't remotely represent or care about the original organization's values.
--Wasp in the kitchen is a beautiful fight scene.
--Hope leaving the bag of money is a nice touch.
--Zoinks! Like, it's a g-g-Ghost, man!
--Ain't that a punch in the neck.
--Baba Yaga is a pretty well-known story; I'm surprised nobody knows what Kurt is talking about.
--Scott is right about hats & sunglasses. *Real-world* facial recognition tech can beat that.
--Morpheus is in this movie.
--Foster & Scott prove Luis right about Hank.
--The folding animation on the Ant-Man & Wasp helmets is very nice; it keeps them from seeming too "magical" like the nanotech Panther helmets. And it makes sense for these helmets to come off, too; their primary purpose is to protect the wearer from the Pym Particles, not from external threats.
--I didn't have hall passes in elementary school.
--Yet another of Hank's self-made enemies...kinda. The disaster that killed Ghost's parents wasn't actually Hank's fault at all.
--Young Foster is played by Fishburne's actual son, so the face swapping isn't as jarring.
--Cassie said she packed those shoes!
--Altoids are curiously powerful.
--Scott's prison time actually provided useful comfort to Hope. That's kinda cool.
--Perry White is not down with hurting Cassie, so we the viewers don't have to storm into the movie to hurt Ghost ourselves.
--Burch gave Luis truth serum. *bongos intensify* (That said, it's pretty darn impressive that Luis was able to dodge answering the question by manipulating his interpretation of it. Chase Stein would be proud.)
--Just think, Ghost had to stand there waiting through that entire argument.
--Burch is very pragmatic, even after presented with a freaking Ghost.
--Rudd does a pretty good job channeling Pfeiffer.
--The Ex-Cons business struggles are a nice follow-up on Scott's job troubles in the first film.
--I really like that Paxton is on Team Scott in this movie.
--Cassie covering for Scott & the ant is the cutest thing in the world.
--The only fatality, other than some ants, is the corrupt FBI agent. Take that, corrupt law enforcement!
--Cassie & Scott's chat manages to be even more touching than their game at the beginning of the film, & it plants seeds for maybe getting Stature/Stinger in the future.
--Evangeline Lilly only gets a couple good acting scenes in the movie, & this is one of them.
--Sad that Hank & Hope are so surprised that Scott came back for them, but glad that
--True story: I was an extra in The Lucky Ones. Luis is basically how Michael Peña acts between takes, except with an accent.
--"Really? This guy, again?" Wasp pretty well expresses the audience's feelings about Sonny.
--This is a contender to replace Bullitt as the best car chase scene in history; probably not coincidentally, both scenes were filmed in San Francisco. (Lombard Street is maniacal.)
--Hi, Stan!
--Hank's descent into the quantum realm is pretty clearly taking a toll on him (especially the part where he's almost eaten by a water bear); he was right about not being able to Ant anymore in the first movie.
--How DID Burch have time to buy a ticket?
--Tim Heidecker is in this movie, significantly funnier than in Awesome Show, but not as funny as in Tom Goes to the Mayor.
--How to Train Your Dragon 2 is in this film--no, wait, that's Janet.
--Once again, Dave & Kurt contribute exactly one thing to the movie.
--"This is the way." I dunno about that.
--Janet approaches Ghost like an animal tamer.
--Janet soaked up some kind of quantum mojo.
--The laptop drive-in is cute.
--Credits: Everything in miniature. Clever.
--Mid-credit scene: Holy crap. I guess screwing with quantum energy really IS dangerous.
--Post-credit scene: Well, that's ominous.

Executive summary: Better than the first one for sure. While the expansion of Hope's role was welcome, it'd still be nice to see a more balanced focused in a movie that's trying to sell us on an equal partnership. Ghost is a very interesting non-evil antagonist, & Burch is at least well-acted, if not necessarily well-written. That said, I liked how the plot obstacles here were set up, & how well interwoven all of them were. Just as before, Peña & Forston steal scenes. Also just as before, Judy Greer is underused.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

News bursts:
--New Mutants just got a new trailer, & it will also have a CC&H panel next Thursday afternoon.
--Helstrom will release on October 16th, & it has released its episode titles.
--The Falcon & the Winter Soldier is officially delayed, but we already knew that would happen anyway given that it won't even be finishing principal photography until after the original release date.

Part 57 is literally happening at the same time as the first half of the next movie....


Agents of SHIELD season 5, part 4:

#5.19 "Option Two":
--These next 4 episodes all take place over the course of just a couple days, soup to nuts.
--Finally turning the slingshot protocol from season 1 from myth into reality.
--"The Destroyer of Worlds"
--Debating multiverse theory versus stable time loop. If Deke disappears, they've DEFINITELY changed the future, but if he doesn't, they MIGHT change the future.
--Dat title card tho.
--Talbot wants so desperately to atone for what he did.
--Brock Samson was prepared for everything...except a "confirm selection" option.
--Mack, SHIELD doesn't kill unless they have to, sure, but "we turn the other cheek" isn't even remotely accurate.
--The asymmetry of Yo-Yo's sweater is really disorienting.
--Hey, Candyman's back, talking about "weird stuff happening in New York" (we'll probably find out about that next) & delivering the last Centipede device in existence.
--Yeah, how *did* Davis survive? Before his arrival with Deke & Deathlok, we last saw him about to be ambushed by Ophelia.
--The fire-lit last stand in the control room is pretty freaking cool.
--"Caution: Graviton."
--Putty puttin' the button on the situation.
--Jiaying isn't a place; it's a people.

#5.20 "The One Who Will Save Us All":
--Qovas's ship looks like it has 2 smaller ships stapled to it.
--"We need it alive!" Well, it drank odium, so you ain't got much time left for that.
--Creel only touched the gravitonium & had a series of massive panic attacks from Hall's & Quinn's voices, but he could still think straight. Ruby absorbed 8% of it & was completely overwhelmed by the voices. Talbot absorbed all the rest; he claims to have the voices beaten into submission, but even if he's right, the power has already gone to his head.
--Simmons didn't mean to volunteer for an alien autopsy, but here we are.
--Hale's cell looks like Leia's cell in A New Hope.
--"Destroyer of Worlds"
--The Confederacy has lasted for 500 years, which on a scale of aliens with lifespans like the Asgardians, is like the meager 5 years of the IRL Confederacy.
--Quake vs Yo-yo is a waste of time; thank you, May.
--Daisy & Deke's chat is nice, but let's make it clear, she is not into him at all.
--"Adding a 7th member would desecrate the order." That's dumb. Don't be dumb.
--Talbot can pull off Whitney Frost's old trick.
--"When does killing become the only way?" When all other options have been exhausted, & only then.
--The arguments here are all pretty reductive. Mack is trying to enforce a version of Christianity that any military scenario is fundamentally incompatible with. Fitz is still slipping in & out of his ruthless self. Simmons is repressing everything. Daisy is completely single-minded on saving Coulson.
--Papa Kasius is a clever twerp, parading Thanos's name around to scare Talbot into doing his work for him. Then again, something did happen in New York....
--"I can be the shield." Now he's talking like John Garrett.
--How does Z1's cloaking work in space? The ship can only maneuver in the vacuum with its rockets, which produce a visible flame.
--Get to work, Fitz; bonesaw is ready.
--Daisy rips through the Remorath like tinfoil; she really would've made the Lighthouse siege a joke.
--That hypnotic trigger barely worked on Talbot when he just had brain damage, & now it doesn't work at all with 2 other people in his head. Hale & farewell.

#5.21 "The Force of Gravity":
--The working title for the episode was "F=G(m1*m2)/d2", literally Newton's gravitation formula, & I'm bummed that they changed it.
--Deke gets to hear Davis's story, too, but we don't. I WANT TO KNOW.
--Poor Agent Kim. He made it 2 whole episodes with a name.
--More crazy stuff on the news? This next movie's gonna be something.
--Dat title card tho.
--"I don't need the jet to fly; I need it to breathe." Hmm.
--"Back to work, Phil" is an interesting catchphrase.
--Taryan gives a decent sales pitch to Daisy, but she already knows his plans for Earth.
--Talbot's betrayal of Creel hurts even more than his turning on Coulson did.
--"I'm the Destroyer of Worlds." Quake breaking the thing is so cool.
--"We've come full circle." It's kinda awesome how true this is; all of the things keep paying off.
--No, don't give Graviton odium; yeah, it'll kill him, but it'll put him into a berserker rage first!
--Of course the Kree didn't teach humans to read their language; slavers have a much easier job when dealing with the illiterate.
--Ooh, Daisy entered from the *other* side of the screen this time.
--"...rivaling even that of the Chitauri invasion"? What the heck happened in New York?
--Well, dang. Daisy looks like a kid who just walked in on her parents doin' it.
--This is a very Magneto moment.
--Remorath are bulletproof, but everything's gotta breathe.
--Talbot with his kid went from sweet to tragic.
--"I know zero" might be Deke's greatest moment.
--For Coulson, this might be

#5.22 "The End":
--May votes against supercharging Talbot. With her fist.
--Dat title card tho.
--Millennium/Daley/Buckingham/Grant Park & the Museum Campus are missing, but otherwise, this is Chicago.
--Daisy admitting she's not ready to lead is genuinely mature.
--"Oh, thank God." It's really sweet seeing everyone happy to see SHIELD.
--Robin colored almost the whole globe, just like the big chunk of Earth looked in the future.
--"Find the strength in your heart to appeal to his good nature, & if you cant, find the strength in your arms to beat his ass senseless." Phil Coulson, you da man.
--Daisy arguing with Coulson is the footage Deke had in his Framework. Here we go, folks.
--Quake vs Graviton is one of the best fights in the MCU, partly because, like an old-school lightsaber fight, it's philosophical.
--Mark Kolpack added a subtle Quake bubble to show how Daisy wasn't immediately killed.
--So that's what happened; Graviton absorbed Quake & used their combined powers to shatter the planet...until......"Something's different."
--Life in space is impossible.
--"I think my leg's broken." I think my heart's broken. Oh, dear Lord, the look on Simmons's face....good thing they have a spare.
--Deke left the tool behind, so he couldn't have disappeared.
--Coulson's self-eulogy is beautiful, & I'm as close to crying as the cast is.
--Coulson's memorial plaque reminds me of Buffy's gravestone.
--"Gotta say, it really is magical."

Executive summary: What a powerful ending. Everything just hit perfectly. That could've been a perfect series finale, even with it teasing The Search for SpockFitz. Gosh, I just...need a second...I think it's my allergies....


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Hawkeye has locked in its directors.
(Also, not to toot my own horn too much, but Abby Forston's parents liked both of my Ant-Man movie posts. )
Part 58. 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare....


Avengers: Infinity War:

--Distress call over the studio logo. We're getting right to it.
--Half of the Asgardian refugee ship is MISSING. Given Thanos's motive, that half has probably been allowed to escape. But then again, the Asgardians have already been heavily culled.
--Loki's kleptomania ruined Thor's only advantage.
--Hulk successfully blindsides Thanos, but then gets outmatched. The Hulk typically gets stronger as he gets angrier, but confusion should not be mistaken for anger.
--Heimdall goes out like a boss, but ouch.
--None of these henchmen are properly named onscreen, so I'mma just look it up: Ebony Maw is an annoying little butt-kisser.
--There are commas around "Odinson"; Loki is pledging loyalty to Thor, not to Thanos. And he goes out like a boss, too. Holy crap, this thing's gonna be a bloodbath.
--"No resurrections this time"? How does Thanos even know about that?
--"Attachment to the material is detatchment from the spiritual." Yeah, but you still gotta eat, Wong.
--Ok, something from space crashing into a house in New York would definitely make the news.
--Aww, Tony & Pepper stayed engaged after the publicity stunt in Homecoming!
--Stark Raving Hazelnuts and Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge are great B&J names.
--Banner finally finds out about Civil War.
--Stark carries Cap's flip phone?
--Very cool oner scene.
--More subtle spidey-sense. Nice.
--Hi, Stan!
--Ok, this is what they were talking about on the news on AoS!
--Maw is not used to ever being out of complete control. He took that scratch as a personal insult.
--"Wong, you're invited to my wedding!" might be my favorite line in the film.
--You can see Manhattan from the Avengers facility?
--If Friday isn't accessible, does Tony control the nano suit with his mind?
--SPACE.
--The rest of the Guardians have learned to speak Groot in the past 4 years.
--"He is not a dude." We're all dudes, Drax.
--Oh, crap, Xandar got hit?
--Thor & Quill's bickering is very comic-book. Rocket's weapon fetish is very Rocket.
--Nidavellir finally makes 9 realms.
--Well, dang. Vision & Wanda have been shackin' up.
--Paul Bettany must've loved this scene since he didn't have to sit in the makeup chair for it.
--Scotland has journalistic standards, so it doesn't carry crap like WHiH.
--Vision can't use most of his powers, but he's still made of vibranium, & that's not nothing.
--It takes 40 minutes for Captain America to appear in this Avengers movie.
--FALCON KICK!
--The Avengers' quinjet has a few extra seats & a center console, but it's otherwise identical to the SHIELD quinjets.
--Flashback: Nothin' says lovin' like slaughtering half a child's family & giving her a Darth Maul switchblade.
--He absolutely has not been there an hour; he wasn't there in the establishing shot.
--"For Ovette, for Camaria." Oh crap.
--Gamora gets it done! Well, kinda.
--The Collector is magnificent. I love the little wave goodbye before he disappears.
--Thanos warping Drax & Mantis is really disturbing, even with it obvious that they're alive.
--Bubbles. (language warning)
--Rhodey, Nat, & Cap calling out Ross on his bullcrap & cowardice is lovely.
--"The world's on fire." How 'bout yours?
--Bruce & Nat get a moment, but only a brief one.
--Clint's still on house arrest too (or he just got off like Scott did, but they don't know it).
--Vision, the difference was that Cap sacrificed himself, rather than sacrificing someone else.
--They're making Bucky the White Wolf now.
--"This is kinda your fault" is Tony's worst fear, Pete. But you're right, you can't be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man if there's no neighborhood.
--Bye, Maw! I'm glad I don't have to hear you ramble anymore! Too bad you're not as cool as Thor & can't survive being spaced!
--Solid Batman reference.
--Peter, stop introducing yourself as "Peter."
--Solid Holmes references from one Sherlock to another.
--"I saved you." Saving somebody from YOU doesn't count, Thanos.
--Thanos thinks Zen-Whoberi is a paradise now, but he hasn't been there since he culled it 20 years back; only 4 years ago, the Nova Corps confirmed that Gamora is the last survivor.
--Thanos thinks population growth is exponential, & for sufficiently restricted domains it might as well be, but in the long run, it's actually logistical.
--"I'm the only one who can fix things" sounds very familiar.
--The reveal shot of Nebula's imprisonment is both very cool & very disturbing.
--Nebula didn't snitch, but Thanos cheated. But how does "finding the map & burning it" constitute "remembering what was on the map"?
--Thanos claiming Gamora's strength & generosity came from him is some egotistical bullcrap.
--"You speak Groot"? He's Asgardian; he speaks the All-Tongue.
--Thor has lost a hell of a lot in the past few months, & it's catching up with him mentally.
--Miles Finch is in this movie as a visual pun.
--Loki's failures in time as Odin come home to roost; Eitri was left defenseless thanks to Loki's hedonism & Asgard's subsequent destruction.
--Avengers vs Guardians is a very clever fight, both in actual combat & in subsequent banter/resolution/more banter.
--Everyone asks "why is Gamora?" but no one asks "*how* is Gamora?"
--Mantis bouncing in the low gravity is adorable.
--This might be the first time the lighting has ever made Drax look green to me, instead of gray.
--1 out of 14,000,605...where Strange lives to see them win.
--Holy freaking crap, it's the freaking Red Skull!!! We haven't seen him in 3 months70 years!!!
--The Soul Stone's shrine is fitting.
--Gamora gets to gloating a bit too soon. Thanos's love is abusive, selfish, toxic, but it is still love, & he's still killing you.
--Why are Shuri & Banner talking like Banner & Stark built Vision? Ultron built Vision; blame him for the bad wiring.
--"They surrender?" Love your optimism, Bucky.
--Napalm makes everything better.
--Hopefully, Shuri is backing up all the data.
--Thor holding open the forge is so freaking epic, & Groot finally getting off his butt & helping is heartwarming (& in Groot's case, handwarming).
--The Bifrost landing in Wakanda is even MORE epic.
--Strange got Thanos monologuing & figured out how the Gauntlet works.
--Quill's plan would've worked (using Mantis was particularly smart)...if not for Quill.
--There's a real spider that does a roll cage thing like that with its legs.
--Oh crap, they lied about Corvus being dead.
--Girl-power moments can be awkward (for example: the Spice Girls' entire career), but "she's not alone" is really well done. Based on the geography of the battle, we already knew the 3 of them were near each other.
--The Black Orders' actual deaths are pretty fantastic.
--Strange vs Thanos is visually glorious, but Iron Man vs Thanos finally delivers the blood T'Challa promised.
--Of course Thanos learned the name of the guy who wrecked his army 6 years ago.
--Stark's running out of nanobots.
--Strange going back on his promise to let Tony die is very suspicious. Hiding the stone in the starscape was cool.
--Thanos is definitely holding back as he tears through the Avengers; he wants the Snap to decide everything now. Cap legitimately surprises him holding the Gauntlet open, though.
--Once he had the Time Stone, there really was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
--Thor ALMOST does it.
--Oh, so that's what happened to the Pyms!
--The deaths are hard to watch, especially Mantis (because you know she was feeling other people going before she went) & Spider-Man (because you know that spidey-sense was freaking the hell out). But it was a slightly mitigated by the fact that the dead included everyone who already had sequels greenlit (Spidey, Panther, Guardians) & both canonical Captain America successors (Falcon & Bucky).
--Credits: The title crumbling with that defeated theme music is a gut punch.
--Post-credit scene: So that's why the Avengers had Fury's pager! Also, lots of collateral deaths beyond just the half who dissolved as cars & planes crash, almost as if Thanos didn't think through his plan all the way or something. Also also, Sam Jackson almost gets to say his favorite word.

Executive summary: I'm emotionally drained after that & the AoS 5 finale so close together. (They're almost as close together in release order too, fyi.) A whole lot of cool stuff just happened, but also a whole lot of depressing stuff. We'll need to see how the remaining Avengers get themselves out of this mess soon.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 59 concludes the streaming shows for now & gives us our first look at life post-Snap....


Runaways season 3 part 2:

#3.06 "Merry Meet Again":
--I thought I turned on adblock...wait, this is part of the show.
--Oh, great, smartphones that brainwash you...& also they cast magical spells.
--Phones that automatically connect people to others make a lot of sense as a coping mechanism in the wake of losing so many people, but it's a very soulless-capitalism kind of sense.
--"Probably a good idea to scope out what we've missed in 6 months." Oh, you have no idea, Chase.
--Karolina, you didn't miss graduation in the past 6 months; you're *16*. Why can this show not even keep its own internal dates right?
--Dale's not doing great. If he thought those mushrooms were chanterelles, they were likely false chanterelles, which cause heartburn at worst.
--In the wake of a global genocide, the people of LA turned hard to their local mega-cult, so Leslie has essentially undone most of her character development.
--"How can I possibly explain what happened to me?" Tina, Robert knows about the Gibbs & the magical staff.
--What if the one guy with the key to the phone box isn't around when you wanna leave?
--"I consider it a failing of my own mentorship." What mentorship, Morgan? You've spoken to her for like 5 minutes total.
--"Way too many buttons open on his shirt?" Only the collar button is open, Nico. Did the costumer even read the script? And did the director even look at the costume?
--"I was on the school dance team." You weren't, Molly. But you WERE chopping to the beat before Rando Kid threw you off.
--Tamar is palling around with Morgan & living with Geoffrey? What the everloving crap is going on here?
--Janet is still on this show somehow.
--Evil phone knows who's holding it without any input.
--Morgan doesn't know about the Gibborim or how Karolina's powers work; that could be an advantage.
--What kind of incompetent evil witches have to completely wipe somebody's entire identity instead of just erasing specific memories? Even the Yorkeses' flawed amnesia serum is more useful than that.
--NEVER LET A BUNCH OF STRANGERS WITH KNIVES TIE YOU UP ON AN ALTAR IN THE BACK ROOM OF A PARTY.
--Wait a sec, was that the Darkhold!?

#3.07 "Left-Hand Path":
--Brainwashed Molly is genuinely terrifying; this scene actually works really well.
--Did...did all these grown women have an orgy with a doped 16-year-old? That is disgusting.
--"But we're not strangers anymore, are we?" There were 100 other strangers at that party, Morgan.
--This is why you upload your exposure video to a site not owned by the company you're exposing. I share Victor & Janet's frustration with the concept of erasing something from the internet that completely.
--Tina gets several genuinely sweet moments with Nico & Robert.
--Molly & Rando Kid are hanging out in an outdoor gazebo with no walls right next to a tent city & expect privacy.
--The Gibb campers worshipping Karolina will never not be stupid.
--Crap, it is the Darkhold.
--"You can't hurt someone who doesn't have a soul." Morgan, Spike is *in the building.*
--Robert's dead; that's 4 down. At least he died before he could go mad from having read the Darkhold.
--Rando Kid is in kahoots with the witches, which would probably matter more if we were ever gonna see him again.
--Ok, maybe Google Glass isn't completely stupid after all.
--"Allow the darkness find its light." Oh hell yes, finally some relatable characters on this show. Welcome back, C&D!

#3.08 "Devil's Torture Chamber":
--"I'm not asking you again!" You haven't asked anything yet.
--Ty's skepticism about Morgan is delightful.
--"That's the Loa." That's not the Loa. Nothing about what we saw in that "Dark Dimension" was anything like how the Loa behave.
--Tandy's skepticism about Nico's decision-making is delightful.
--I busted up laughing when Janet's face showed up on Alex's computer.
--Teleportation is one of the best superpowers. Fight me. Oh, you can't, 'cause I teleported away!
--NICO used BIND! It's super effective!
--Waffles.
--That sure was a long lingering shot on literally nothing.
--"When we were here, it didn't look like this." That's an understatement.
--"The Loa [...] traps you in your worst nightmares." No, they don't, & I am so sorry that Holt & Joseph have to say all this crap they know is wrong. The writers of this show are so freaking lazy.
--Welcome back, SliferQuinton, the Executive Producer!
--Quinton did not expect the camera to be that close.
--"Bro, literally everything you just said was wrong" is how I feel about so many things the lazy writers on this show make the Runaways say.
--So, Karolina wants a non-denominational wedding, but Nico wants an explicitly Wiccan one?
--I don't know how Gert expects to go straight to college when she has at least a year of high school left.
--AWOL seems to have been lying at the start of the season about being happy with Nico.
--Come "SAIL!" away with me.
--"Slifer Necross" isn't a thing, sadly, so I'm out of Yu-Gi-Oh jokes for Quinton.
--Cloak. Should. Not. Be. Vulnerable. To. Darkforce. Effects.
--"Your mother or your friends" is not a choice; Alex knows his real mother is already dead.
--Dagger's view of Alex's hope was very well-shot & very chilling.
--The gray dagger is quite neat.
--Did they lose the Old Lace puppet? This would've been an ideal moment for it.

#3.09 "The Broken Circle":
--So we finally stopped the Pride from committing ritualistic sacrificial teen murders...& now Morgan's planning a ritualistic sacrificial teen murder. I swear, this show just intentionally refuses to progress.
--Geoffrey is the largest person in the entire cast of this show, & he's hiding behind doorframes like it's nothing.
--"Turned me back into that high school girl"? You ARE a high school girl! This show takes place over MONTHS, not years. (And even if Gert was magically a senior now, Smith College doesn't HAVE a late-registration deadline.)
--Biological always works.
--Chase, other cities have taco trucks.
--As General Hale would say, "It's time for SHIELDRunaways & HydraPride to finally unite."
--I have a friend with a scar like that from heart surgery.
--Karolina's powers are light-based, just like Tandy's; they're probably both immune to Morgan's brainwashing.
--Seriously, how is Janet seeing them through monitors with no webcams?
--Tina casts from HP. We might drop another parent finally.
--Guys, just break the dang mirror.
--Tina finally admits her explanation of the Staff from season 1 was bullcrap.
--Ok, there's the puppet. Where was that last episode?
--If somebody stops you from killing them just to say they're too strong to kill, they're probably lying.
--Hurley is devouring this scenery.
--Alex is about to Loki it up in here.
--Oh thank goodness those annoying minion witches are finally dead.
--FINALLY we have a fight scene where all the Runaways are effective! Special props to Gert for the salt trick, even after having been impaled on that old chandelier.
--Old Lace's wail of despair is pretty heartbreaking.
--Final score: Runaways lost 1 out of 8, the Pride lost 5 (& 2 halves) out of 12.

#3.10 "Cheat the Gallows":
--2028!? What the crap? How did we jump 10 years?
--2022!? What the crap? How did we jump 4 years?
--Julie Power!? What the crap? Are we just never gonna have Power Pack?
--"Three years"!? What the crap? How is 2022 three years after 2018?
--Summer!? What the crap? Why is Molly still in school?
--Nico went to Kamar-Taj. That's the first thing in this episode that's made sense.
--Solid Doctor Who reference.
--"I can make it nice, like Fiji or Hawaii." Or Tahiti?
--This is the 3rd time we've seen the 1st episode.
--"Is it bad I don't remember it at all?" No, you couldn't hear it.
--Past Gert & the lacrosse douchebags don't notice 2 Alexes run by?
--"I can't die before Hillary is elected"!? What the crap? How is 2016 three & a half years before 2022? And how has the election not happened yet when it had explicitly already happened in season 1?
--"It shouldn't work, but somehow it just does." That's actually a fair description of Gert & Chase's relationship both on the page & on the screen.
--Poor Future Chase...and he disappeared. And so did all the other future folks...except for this note planting the seeds for Victor Mancha & Evil Alex while terrible cheesy music plays.
--There are 2 showrunners, a writer, a director, & any number of other crew members who should've caught all the completely screwed up dates in this episode. Even ignoring the rest of the MCU, this episode contradicts the rest of *Runaways* alone, & it even contradicts ITSELF REPEATEDLY. It's like they just didn't care. Thankfully, this episode also erases itself (except for Gert's survival), so I get to pretend it never happened.

Executive summary: Season 3 overall was the best this show has ever been, but mostly because it stole a bunch of good ideas from Agents of SHIELD, Cloak & Dagger, and Black Panther. I don't understand why the showrunners were so dead-set against ever exploring the other plots from the Runaways comics. And that finale was complete garbage.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Part 60, traversing the interim & the stars....


Agents of SHIELD season 6:

#6.01 "Missing Pieces":
--Who cuts a ship in half?
--"One year later" It's 2019. Nobody's mentioning the Snapture yet, but after a year, there surely are more immediate concerns.
--Daw, look at Piper & Davis, all mattering to the plot & stuff.
--Taryan must've spread the word about the Inhuman who escaped him.
--Directed by Clark Gregg. I'm glad they found a way to keep him around with Coulson dead.
--SHIELD has resources again & can operate openly. Saving the world from a maniac tearing up Chicago will buy you a lot of goodwill.
--All in all, he's just another brick in the wall.
--Agent Keller? I wonder if he's related to Fury's old boss.
--Ley lines were made by ancient human civilizations who had no way of detecting the energies those lines allegedly channel.
--Holo-Coulson's training tapes are poignant.
--Simmons is getting ruthless.
--They found the first half of the ship already! (Makes sense, it was supposed to have been floating around Jupiter.)
--Mack & Yo-Yo broke up? Aw.
--Simmons, your change to the timeline shouldn't have affected Enoch's ship at all.
--It always bugs me when spacecraft are shown with sustained engine burn in the vacuum; they only need to fire their thrusters to change speed or direction.
--Latitude is based on the equator; that's a universal concept. But it sure is considerate of these aliens to base their longitude measurements off of our prime meridian.
--So the warp drive in the ship is Hale's old teleportation device.
--...the hell is Coulson doing here?

#6.02 "Window of Opportunity":
--A cloaked truck still can only travel in 2 dimensions, so it's still gonna crash into a lot of stuff. And it should still cast a shadow. But it's very cool.
--Benson really has no idea what he's talking about. SHIELD didn't make Inhumans, for one thing.
--Heh, more Xandarian snails, as Fitz fails his geography test.
--Sarge's crew is very wacky for how grim he is.
--MACK KNOWS.
--So Sarge is a clone?
--Snowflake has a very limited understanding of the possibilities of reincarnation.
--Not gonna lie, the portal paint is incredibly cool.
--Enoch is funny, but very literal. I think he's saying there IS a type of Chronicom that fights.
--Sarge's disdain for paper cash makes sense, but diamonds are actually very useful. In fact, they ARE crystals.
--Why would you even HAVE a door there on a spaceship?

#6.03 "Fear & Loathing on the Planet of Kitson":
--People aren't named things like "Pretorious" unless they're sticklers for bureaucracy.
--"Please check your weapons & moral high ground" is the perfect greeting for a casino.
--Enoch & Fitz, BFFs for life!
--Card counting is not cheating. Casinos have the right to ban the practice, but it does not alter the outcome of the game.
--Tampering with the universe? Fitz has done nothing of the sort.
--No Slifer joke for George Kitson, as he didn't write his own name into this, & whoever did is roasting him hard.
--These alien puffy treats look like meringue cookies.
--Daisy & Simmons's trip is amazing, culminating in the gonzo narration. Uncle Duke would be proud.
--The carpet chat is adorable. There had to be takes of this scene where Bennet & Henstridge went wild.
--Oh crap, this bland annoying hunter dude is another Chronicom.
--Enoch's existential crisis is bizarrely hilarious.
--Daisy's drunken boxing is amazing.
--Meanwhile on Earth, a gun shoots a map.

#6.04 "Code Yellow":
--Deke Nukem.
--Showrunner cameo! Hammer Groupie #1 is on this show.
--"Nothing goes on this wrist ever."
--These crystal spikes are deeply disturbing to look at.
--Sarge played this real smooth, but Deke's extremely savvy.
--So they're tracking people who "don't belong" for a particular reason, & Deke doesn't belong for a *different* reason.
--IF THE FREAKY ALIEN BAT STARTS TO MOVE AFTER YOU PULL A KNIFE OUT OF IT, PUT THE KNIFE BACK INTO IT.
--"So, it's a bird?" No, it's very clearly a bat.
--I don't get people who walk around with their mouths hanging open. Like, even pre-COVID, that's just uncomfortable. Oh, also, poor Keller.
--Sequoia's an influencer? Oh, just let Sarge kill her then.
--"...an alien bird..." Guys, it's a bat. It looks nothing like a bird.
--I'd take that 2%.
--The Insta-stories at the end are right on the money.

#6.05 "The Other Thing":
--May's flashbacks to Tahiti with Coulson are sweet & sad.
--Even learning that he succeeded in his mission can't cheer Enoch up right now. For real, though, why are the hunters mad at him for doing what he was supposed to do?
--The Chronicoms stamped out the Confederacy's resources, but their leadership is probably still alive, since they typically just conference-call.
--Benson has no idea what he's talking about. Bats aren't birds, for one thing.
--Yo-Yo's got some guilt trip going on over her uncharacteristically poor reaction time.
--Shrike are a species of Earth bird irl. Did Kolpack not get the memo that all the dialogue about these things called them "birds"? 'Cause he animated bats.

#6.06 "Inescapable":
--Chronyca-2 was one of the Shrikes' recent targets.
--Aww, Fitz finally gets to propose! And finally gets to learn that changing time is possible.
--Fitz has the perfect reactions to Baby Jemma.
--Daisy is a rabbit, Davis a bear, & Piper a monkey.
--...Fitz also gets to learn the other thing...
--Daw, the glimpses of FitzSimmons' past pre-Bus are cute.
--Obviously Evil Doctor Leopold would come out to play, but the real surprise here is the manifestation of Simmons's lifetime of emotional repression. "You are so English" is a great line.
--Switching partners worked great for Cloak & Dagger, but it's not working at all for FitzSimmons.
--Well, dang. "Didn't know you like that." "Didn't know you'd do that."
--"I have taken bold action." Hell yeah you have, Enoch!

#6.07 "Toldja":
--Deke thinks Michael Jordan invented shoes, & that's where I'm starting these notes. (Everyone knows Chuck Taylor invented shoes.)
--Good to know Deke values having living family over his money & fame. And good to know Mack acknowledges Benson is a lost cause on SHIELD tech.
--Mack, the Shrike hosts are *already dead*, just being puppeted by the parasites.
--Anthony Michael Hall is on this show.
--Enoch is way too into the brothel plan.
--Veroovian steel is the densest metal in the galaxy, but not necessarily the strongest; I think vibranium & uru have it beat.
--Stephanie from LazyTown is on this show.
--JACO used FLAMETHROWER! It missed!
--Guys, why would you bring the exploding crystal people together!?

#6.08 "Collision Course pt. 1":
--Yet another repeat title.
--What's up with Sarge's right arm?
--Sarge picks Snowflake? Not Jaco?
--Of course Miss Skin & Earth here is the villain hatching bat-birds with her voice.
--Sarge, you're gonna be stuck in the truck for 17 hours anyway; some small talk isn't gonna hurt.
--"Di'Allas" is a dumb name; I'mma keep saying "monolith."
--Sarge & Izel each have some kinda dirt on each other.
--"What does this stuff look like to you?" "Birds." "Not Shrike?" Of course not; Shrike aren't birds.
--Well, dang. That's another way to "spill somebody's soul."
--More fanatics willing to slaughter huge swaths of people "for the greater good."
--Crud, the Chronicom hunters can now predict what FitzSimmons will think of when working together.

#6.09 "Collision Course pt 2":
--So Party City Wig here only hijacks non-smart people? That doesn't check out with Keller.
--Deke tries to MacGuyver but really just MacGrubers.
--The crystals explode into more Shrike? That's dumb.
--Izel's "kindness" act falls apart the instant she meets with resistance.
--May officially has faster reflexes than Elena does.
--Sarge, top speed for an aircraft has nothing to do with weight.
--Mack beating the crap out of Sarge is deeply satisfying.
--Daisy knows the resonant frequency of a monolith; she's used it before. The Shrike are made of the same material.
--That "females" line is clunky.
--Crud, something happened to Davis.
--Jaco goes out like a boss.
--Deke bonding with a Fitz who doesn't hate him yet is pretty cute.
--I think this is the first time Daisy has actually known for sure that Deke's into her.
--Well, dang.
--Well, bang.

#6.10 "Leap":
--Seriously, I've already figured out that Izel can possess people somehow, rode Davis through the portal & then lept into May to shoot Sarge. The Marvel logo just finished flipping.
--Now it's Piper. And apparently Diaz gets a name now.
--Sarge is rocking a near-Logan level regeneration ability.
--We get to watch the body-surfs now, so I don't have to track it.
--Oof, so she doesn't feel her hosts' pain.
--Davis, no! :(
--Raver Wig claims to hate killing an awful lot for somebody who's killed millions of people for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
--Space, Time, &...Creation?
--Izel's way of restraining Mack is pretty creative.
--This actress's delivery is really stilted & awkward, & her monologue contradicts itself & past events we've witnessed a bunch.
--Fitz, Ghost Rider only took willing hosts; anything else wasn't sustainable.

#6.11 "From the Ashes":
--Elena, seriously? You didn't guess that would happen?
--Izel, seriously? You wanna possess an elderly alcoholic?
--May, seriously? You think Sarge will suddenly turn into Phil?
--Good on Benson for picking up on Yo-Yo's hint.
--No, nobody "made" you take a life, Pinky.
--Why would the quarantine warning be on the inside of the door?
--Sarge, you already used the "daddy issues" line.
--Simmons has a great point about Daisy.
--So the "fear dimension" (which admittedly was a silly idea) was just because humans "lack the control" to create anything else? I call shenanigans; that's equally silly of an idea.
--Daisy's finally reading Coulson's letter! I wanna know what it saaaaaays.
--Sarge is kinda starting to look like Hive.
--"Do it, Skye!" Holy crap.
--Meanwhile, the Chronicoms still exist. Malachi the Completely-Uncharismatic just murdered Atarah the Good-Idea-Haver, so now instead of time-travelling to save their planet, they're gonna try taking over ours instead.

#6.12 "The Sign":
--Looks like Izel was wrong about how humans think after all; even knowing how Flint's powers could help her, Mack & Yo-Yo aren't actually scared of him.
--But yeah, she totally brings the monoliths back.
--FitzSimmons & Deke have manufactured 12 bracelets; that's more than enough for everyone going in, plus Mack & Yo-Yo.
--Why do people in fiction take the time to make custom foam cutouts for holding things they need in a hurry?
--"the Destroyer of Worlds"
--Deke smuggling in his dev team gets us one of the great lines of the series: "They identify as my grandparents." Poor guy just lost his Bobo's approval, though.
--Charcoal water sounds revolting.
--You did kill most of the bats at the tower, Daisy, but she obviously made more.
--How the crap does that zombie know how to disable a plane ramp?
--MAY, NO!?!?
--All the Chronicom anthropologists got reassigned to obey Malachi as hunters, so even though he sucks, he's the top dog now.

#6.13 "New Life":
--Ugh, Malachi, you have the worst freaking timing in the world, you complete freaking idiot. The planet you're trying to take over is about to be destroyed by the same thing that destroyed Chronyca-2.
--Enoch Coltrane?
--Ok, Deke's team is gonna be safe because the Chronicoms don't know anybody's even there & are too "efficient" to check what they expect to be an empty floor.
--ELENA, YOUR REFLEXES ARE FREAKING ABYSMAL.
--May yanks that sword out of herself like Scott Pilgrim. I guess this is one of those "death doesn't exist" kinda places.
--Wait, there's plenty to see & hear here, & all these robed dudes have bodies already, & May clearly killed some of them. Everything Izel said about this place was wrong. Writers, this is just sloppy; you know you can't be lazy.
--One of the 1st things we ever saw Enoch do was take off his skin.
--Seeing Pacha shrug off Quake's full power is kinda...not how physics works. Graviton at least had powers that justified it.
--Izel left May's fate in the hands of a bunch of unarmed wraiths who will instantly disintegrate if that sword touches them.
--Elena is dead for almost exactly 1 minute of screentime. That's within real-life resuscitation range. Nice touch.
--May steps back into reality & resumes dying.
--Simmons Ex Machina is kinda freaking me out. She "can't know" where Fitz is, probably because the Chronicoms can predict how they think together, so they have to stay separated to think differently & be less predictable.
--The Empire State Building isn't completed yet; it's 1931.
--Simmons doesn't say it openly, but the Chronicoms are clearly going back in time to stop SHIELD from existing to oppose them in the first place...which means Atarah's plan to save their own world would've worked too.
--Daisy does not hesitate to shmash that like button.

Executive summary: It started out good; the first half of this season had 3 of the best & most creative episodes in the entire series...& then Izel showed up. Possibly the worst villain in the entire TV side of the MCU, in the same league as Maximus, Lucy, Diamondback, & the Hand. The Chronicom hunters aren't helping matters much; the uninteresting lunkhead with bad hair seizing power from the smart person to enact a plan that will unnecessarily slaughter billions is a little too current-events for me.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

The Helstrom panel just ended. Here it is, with timestamps:
1:40 Statements on Current Events
13:35 Official Teaser Trailer
15:00 Panel Conversation
39:23 Spoilers
And here's just the teaser, in case the panel video goes down.

Other news: Spidey 3 is delayed another month; it's now scheduled to release on December 17th, 2021.

Part 61....


Avengers: Endgame:

--Clint's property is a hell of a lot bigger than Scott's; that ankle monitor doesn't mean a whole lot.
--I'd rather have mayo on a dog than mustard, but Nate's right about ketchup.
--Holy crap, ALL of them!?
--I noticed Strange at least is missing from the logo; I guess the other dead are gone too, but their backgrounds are less distinctive, so it's harder to catch.
--Nebula finally wins a game.
--It's been 3 weeks since the Snap, but I guess it won't stay here, since I've been told (by my OOC self ) that this goes here. Tony's finally ready to die. I don't know how long Nebula can last without air.
--Welcome back, Carol!
--Sweet moments: Tony & Pepper, Rocket & Nebula.
--Tony's monologue is painful & powerful.
--Carol & Cap have a similar military mind.
--Rhodey's got a lot to do for once: Taking care of Tony, keeping Carol in perspective, snarking at 683 other main characters each individually.
--I had prickly pear soda for the first time recently; it wasn't bad, but I don't see how that same flavor would work in a soup.
--The Infinity Stones are important to the function of the universe; Thanos was even MORE reckless than before in destroying them. I guess if they were just "reduced to atoms" then technically they still exist; they're just not usable.
--Thor goes for the head. Welp, that was a short movie.
--....Ok, it's now 2023. So that's why this movie is here instead of earlier.
--Nothing has changed for the Mets.
--Director cameo: Joe Russo as the first openly gay MCU *movie* character, but Joey, Benson, Karolina, Nico, Hogarth (& all her lovers), Costa, et cet, beat him to it.
--Creator cameo: Jim Starlin!
--They thought Scott got snapped, but not so much. This rat just saved the univere.
--Señor Chang is in this movie.
--My wife: "What if this guard thinks everyone else is gonna start gradually reappearing?"
--Just think, this memorial is probably only for the dead FROM San Francisco.
--Cassie & Scott always warm the heart, even in such an otherwise sad circumstance.
--Carol gives Rhodey a look. Hmm.
--"For me it was 5 hours." Boom. We have an idea.
--This tiny person is precious & he named her Morgan like they talked about in Infinity War & he's not gonna wanna go back in time now & aaaaa.
--The Planck Scale is a real thing. The Deutsch Proposition is not, but it's named for a real quantum physicist.
--Scott raises an interesting point: Pepper & Rhodey survived; Tony is the only Avenger who didn't lose any of his close people. Just like Mack in the Framework, he's the only one who came out ahead.
--Russo's other kids are not as good of actors as the one who plays Lila Barton.
--It's very jarring to see Professor Hulk all of a sudden; it would've been nice to have 5 more minutes for that character development.
--"I love you 3000."
--"He'll grow!" is a great line, but...
--Commercial break: This film brought to you by the Audi e-tron.
--..."Instead of pushing Lang through time, you might've wound up pushing time through Lang" is better.
--The EPR paradox is also real.
--Tonsberg is now New Asgard; the living refugees made it!
--Valkyrie's reaction to Hulk & Rocket is great.
--Oh my gosh, Thor....is an anti-griefer; I love it! He needs to stop blocking Korg's view, though.
--For real, though, Thor's depression & self-loathing is wonderfully realistic, & it took some big brass ones to go down that route in this movie.
--There's some of Hulk's anger.
--Ronin, not to be confused with Ronan.
--The completely platonic love between Clint & Nat is one of my favorite subplots of the Avengers films.
--No Pyms, no Pym Particles. We've got very limited ammo. Can't even go back & ask him for more, 'cause he'll just refuse.
--Hulk's snacking on his Ben & Jerry's flavor during the brainstorming session, which includes Thor's Drunk History sketch.
--New York, 2012: The Time, Mind, & Space Stones.
----The Ancient One's chat with Banner is one of the best sequences in the movie, & I love that the freaking Hulk is the one who completes his mission easiest out of anybody.
----That paper football training paid off.
----Clever boy, Cap. Hopefully this is the closest the MCU ever gets to that Secret Empire garbage.
----Whoa, they got Redford back for his final film role.
----Crap, now there's an alternate timeline with a still-evil Loki running around. Fission Mailed?
----Cap recognizing his own flaws & weaknesses is nice.
----Scott's skepticism is warranted, no matter how confident Tony & Steve are.
--Asgard, 2013: The Reality Stone.
----Dark World was the only other movie to involve this stone; they had no choice but to come here.
----Jane!? See, that's what happens when you cut the racist, sexist, alt-right shill out of your film studio; you get your Oscar-winning supporting actresses back.
----"I was raised by witches, boy. I see with more than eyes; you know that." Frigga gets more to do here than she did in both of her previous films combined, & Endgame is all the better for it. So is Thor, finally getting some therapy & a chance to say goodbye.
----Asgardians all think raccoons are rabbits.
----Still worthy.
--Morag, 2014: The Power Stone.
----Star-Lord is about to get the Orb. Gamora is about to be sent to help Ronan.
----"Ronan's obsession clouds his judgement." Irony.
----Crud, Nebula is quantumly entangled with herself.
----They didn't license the lyrics to "Come & Get Your Love" for the subtitles...again.
----Nebula & Rhodey bond over their prosthetics.
----Stop hitting yourself, Nebula.
--New Jersey, 1970: The Space Stone...again.
----Hi, Stan!
----Shirley is in this movie.
----Dude, if you thought Thor had daddy issues, here's Howard Stark.
----Hank never had any chill.
----Director Carter still has the Skinny Steve picture!
----James. D'arcy. Is. In. This. Movie. Booya.
--Vormir, 2014: The Soul Stone.
----As soon as I realized who was going after the Soul Stone, I got a lump in my throat. Hi, Red Skull.
----Thanos didn't wanna do it, but he did it without hesitation. What makes the Avengers better is that hesitation, followed by a fight to protect the other person instead of to kill the other person. You don't get to sacrifice others for your cause, only yourself. Godspeed, Natasha.
--Hawkeye's monologue is painful & powerful.
--The Hulk's higher purpose: Resurrecting half the universe.
--Everyone else is too distracted by the Hulk actually being injured to notice Evil Nebula summoning a gargantuan freaking spaceship.
--Dat rollover phone plan tho.
--Blink & you'll miss it, but we can see Ant-Man shrink as the missiles hit.
--Hawkeye in the tunnels playing keep-away with the Gauntlet is very satisfyingly tense, as is Ant-Man rushing to save everyone trapped under the building.
--"They suspected nothing." "The arrogant never do." Irony.
--Past Gamora was about to betray Thanos *anyway*, so of course she helps Good Nebula.
--Thor, Cap, & Iron Man plotting against Thanos is delightful, especially Thor suiting up for battle.
--Thanos finally reveals his true self: He doesn't just want to enact his plan, he wants everyone to praise him for it, & he refuses to accept even the possibility that he could be wrong.
--This not the first instance of a time-displaced Amy Pond having to be killed to save the correct one.
--Thanoscopter!
--Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.
--Broken vibranium is terrifying to see.
--This big beasties look like Colossi.
--The whole portal sequence is glorious, from "On your left" to "Yibambe!" to a pegasus out of nowhere to Thanos's super confused face to GiAnt-Man capping it off.
--"Is that everyone?" No, but it's enough for now. Cap finally understands that there are others who can take up the fight now.
--Spider-Man's monologue is a little much, so I appreciate Tony ending it with a hug.
--Falcon pulls a Vulture.
--Wanda is legit about to murder the hell out of Thanos; I love it.
--They're shooting giant lasers at somebody who absorbs energy. Not the best plan.
--Unlike "she's not alone", "she's got help" is kinda cringey. It's not really a relevant response to what Spidey said, the geography of the battle does not support these characters showing up here, & they're assisting the one character who least needs the help.
--Carol keeps soaking up more juice from holding the Gauntlet, so Thanos has to fight dirtysmarter.
--Strange gives Tony the "wait 1 second" sign.
--"And I...am......Iron Man." Now here's the promised dust.
--Hulk's arm was charred. Stark's entire right half of his body is *roasted.* He can only even manage a last murmur to Pepper.
--"I love you, 3000."
--Wow, they went & got Harley from IM3? That's a deep cut.
--Wow, they went & got General Ross? Why the hell would he be invited to this funeral?
--Happy is sad.
--Somehow the cheeseburgers line hit me harder than anything else.
--Hawkeye finally gets his long-awaited retirement & Thor is setting out with the Asgardians of the Galaxy. Long live King Valkyrie.
--Oh, Steve's got something planned & Bucky knows it.
--Steve & Peggy got their happily ever after. (Sorry, Daniel.)
--Credits: EVERYONE IS HERE! Loving the old clips of everybody, & the autographs of the core 6 Avengers sends shivers down the spine. Also, I know that clanging.

Executive summary: What an experience! Oh my gosh, that was simply incredible & emotional & epic & personal & I'm crying again & wow. What the Russos & Feige pulled off here is nothing short of a miracle, not least because the film is almost exclusively made out of fanservice & depression. But as ever, even though she isn't even in this movie, Judy Greer is underused.
Time to wrap this thing up with the final film (& its accompanying materials).


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Here we go, the final piece of the puzzle (for now), part 62....


Peter's To-Do List:
--Peter was pretty darn close to Delmar's correction.
--Last time Peter traveled abroad, it was by private plane & he was smuggled past customs.
--The cops have a much more positive relationship with Spider-Man than I've ever seen before.

Executive summary: Light & fluffy. Nothing very important happens, but it's just nice to see a one-shot again.


Spider-Man: Far From Home:

--Nifty transition from the Columbia logo.
--Holy crap, it's Mysterio! So he's gonna be the villain of this one?
--Mysterio greets Fury & Hill as kinda-Sandman appears.
--The comic sans stock-photo watermarks really make this as a no-budget school montage. They think Cap's dead, & the only photo anyone had of Vision was candid from Berlin.
--The kids had to repeat the entire school year even though they'd dusted in spring 2018, so it is now summer 2024.
--Peter finally reciprocates MJ's crush.
--Aunt May got dusted too, dang. I guess she can't really get mad at Peter for dying, then, since she knows it would've happened to him at home, too.
--Whoa, Happy is happy.
--If my college cafeteria is any indicator, vegetarian lasagna is delicious (it's just lasagna minus meat), but vegan lasagna is nasty (it's got gross fake sausage & no cheese).
--I thought for sure Peter was about to back out onstage with no mask on.
--Why do any of these people think Spider-Man is in charge of the Avengers now?
--Daw, that was Uncle Ben's suitcase.
--JB Smoove is in this movie.
--Harrington's sob story shouldn't make me laugh this hard.
--In-flight movies: The Snap, Finding Wakanda, Hunting Hydra, Nova w/Selvig, & Heart of Iron.
--I've seen real high school relationships like Ned & Betty's.
--I just knew that camera was going in the canal. :(
--MJ & Peter said "Boh" a combined 7 times; it was only subtitled once.
--Peter, why would webbing work on kinda-Hydro-Man? It's made of water.
--Me, as this movie keeps trying to make Brad Davis a thing.
--Flash is gonna freak if he ever finds out who Spider-Man is.
--Fury's temper is very much being tried.
--Beck has to be lying through his teeth about being from another reality; how the hell would he know which Earth number is which?
--"Don't ever apologize for being the smartest one in the room." Nice.
--"Don't invoke her name" is out of character for Fury.
--Ugh, Flash is a lifestyle vlogger. I almost don't feel bad about his neglectful parents now.
--EDITH is not a full AI like Jarvis or Friday were; her responses are clearly all pre-programmed.
--Fury's agent here is a jerk; you don't just demand that a kid strip in front of you.
--Ok, this does not seem like a system that an increasingly-responsible Tony Stark would've made, launching lethal drone strikes with no explanation. A full AI would've understood to tell Peter how things worked.
--The Prague Signal Festival is actually always in October, but this movie has to be happening in the summer. Whoopsie!
--Donnie, why are you wearing that stupid fishbowl suit?
--Honestly, I don't really like the black suit either. It's too Venomy for what definitely isn't Venom. (Then again, Peter *has* been to space....)
--I get that you were under pressure, Ned, but "Night Monkey"? He's shooting webs!
--License plate ASM 28965 is a nice little easter egg for the fight with kinda-Molten-Man.
--"Why did he give it to you?" He didn't. He died. He wasn't gonna give it to him yet.
--Was this supposed to be a twist? 'Cause, like, Mysterio was in the 90s cartoon & in the newspaper comic, & he's frequently used in promo art, & the very first Google result for the name is his Wikipedia article, the 7th word of which is "supervillain".
--Holland has to wear mo-cap suits to *model* his costume. Gyllenhaal gets to wear the mo-cap suit *as* his costume.
--Beck's speech is EXTREMELY lazy & clunky exposition. Also, it's a bummer that yet another MCU Spidey villain is out for revenge against Stark. Also also, why is William Riva on this team? Stark wasn't the one who wronged him; Stane was.
--I'm really digging this MJ. She's clever. I have a great appreciation for clever.
--Why would the projector from the kinda-Molten-Man fight still be carrying video for kinda-Smoke-Monster-From-Lost?
--Beck refuses to take any responsibility
--Peter & MJ are so cute.
--Prague & Berlin actually are close enough for Spidey to make that dash overnight.
--This illusion sequence is Dr.-Strange-levels of amazing.
--"If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive." Proof Beck doesn't know how Tony died.
--Spider-Man has a complicated relationship with trains.
--Dutch soccer hooligans are the most polite soccer hooligans.
--Happy proving his identity is great.
--Did Happy just sew Peter's shirt to his shoulder? There's no hole in the fabric.
--There will never be another Iron Man, & that's ok. There doesn't need to be.
--"I thought Kree having sleeper cells was supposed to be top-secret information..." A second film reference to Inhumans existing!
--Brad almost got himself banned from Twitch.
--Fury finally sees through the bullcrap, & Hill gets her first cool moment since Winter Soldier.
--Happy also fares pretty well saving the kids; he just doesn't have super strength.
--The mo-cap fishbowl is a nice touch.
--Bridge illusion sequence in 2 words: "Yeah, Spider-Man!"
--Beck's dead (by his own stupidity), but Spider-Man doesn't even KNOW about Riva or the rest of the crew.
--Happy grew a spine about Fury.
--Obvious video-game plug is obvious.
--Yeah, that's about how swinging like this would be for anyone without sticky powers.
--Credits: Watts leans into the teen bops again, & it works again.
--Mid-credit scene: JK as JJJ is in this movie!!! Oh crap, there goes the neighborhood.
--Post-credit scene: Holy crap, Talos!? Fury seems to have taken his own fake Tahiti vacation...in space!?
--Aww, Stan & Steve.

Executive summary: On par with Homecoming. Cast is phenomenal across the board, especially Jake Gyllenhaal. Visually genius, but some significant plot holes keep the overall product from reaching that high. Still, a nice piece of denouement.


The Daily Bugle:

--Video 1: The InfoWars trappings are very smart & perfectly complement Jameson just being himself. (Simmons really baited us out with "menace" too.)
--Video 2: The one time Twitter was a good thing was when Iraqi citizens were able to leak info about their election chaos because it was the only venue their government hadn't blocked. Likewise, Flash's vlog is a good thing exactly once.
--Videos 3-4: These are pretty much just the FFH mid-credit scene again.
--Video 5: Coney Island was closed for *8 years*!? Spidey & Vulture only broke 1 ride; everything else happened on the beach.
--Video 6: Spider-Man is not a US government representative; there's no way the British government could expect them to pay.

Executive summary: Exactly the kind of obviously fake news that we deal with in reality. Question is, will this come back again?


Ok, the rewatch is complete. It only took....3 months!
There will, however, be a few more bonus entries in this series: One on mostly non-canon miscellaneous supplemental videos in a few days, one on SHIELD S7 in a few weeks, & one on Helstrom in a few months. We'll see about Black Widow & WandaVision if they don't get pushed back.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Dragon351]

I absolutely love what you’ve done with this thread. Me and my family have been using this as our rewatch guide and I just had to give you some props for this. Congrats on finishing the rewatch!

[CaptHayfever]

^Thanks, dude!

NEWS TIME:
--Nia DaCosta has been tapped to direct Captain Marvel 2.
--Hawkeye will be the first Disney+ MCU series with rotating directors, with Rhys Thomas sharing duties with Bert & Bertie.
--Shang-Chi is resuming production following a full cast & crew quarantine.
--The SERIES FINALE of Agents of SHIELD will air NEXT WEEK. Soon afterwards, the entire series is expected to migrate to Disney+, leaving the 3 non-Disney films, the Netflix shows, Cloak & Dagger, & Helstrom as the only major MCU content absent from that streaming service.

And now the first BONUS INSTALLMENT: MCU Supplemental Videos.
Some of these are canon, but not really placeable on the timeline. Most of them aren't canon.

Canon:
--Come to Wakanda commercials: The "old" one is the better one, very true to the spirit of the kingdom hiding in plain sight. The "new" one is just recycled movie footage.
--Stark Expo commercials: Neat expansions on themes from IM2. I wish I'd known these existed before recently.
--Iron Fist commercials: Colleen's is adorably awkward. The Meachums' is creepily awkward, like almost incesty vibes (which weren't in the show at all).
--I Want Your Cray-Cray: The video itself is just YES. And then they make it a Pop-Up Video too!

In character, non-canon:
--Team Thor: Pure genius.
--Trip Lives: Short, sweet, fun, pointless. Poor audio quality.
--Spider-Man NBA & car commercials: They put way more thought into these than they needed to. Also, interesting how the Sony films are the only ones with tons of tie-in ads.
--Agent Coulson Phase 1 Marathon Intros: The lighting choices are cool. The script is weak. Clark Gregg kills it.
--Daredevil: Red Thread: n/a. The website is gone, & I can't find the videos anywhere.

Out of character:
--Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: Declassified: The sketches are funny. The interviews are okay. The social media bits & the Verizon shilling are dumb. Several episodes are missing from YouTube for some reason.
--Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: Academy: It's cute seeing the contestants compete, and the cast is bringing their A-game, especially Brett Dalton.
--Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: Double Agent: This whole thing was dumb, but Stan's cameo was worth it.
--Agents of SHIELD 100th Episode Roundtables: Patton Oswalt is a much better interviewer than the guy from Declassified.
--The Directors' Roundtable: A very cool & educational conversation. Time well spent.
--Guardians Inferno: As much as I love GotG v2, sometimes I get the sneaking suspicion that Gunn only made it so he could make this music video.
--Team SHIELD vs Team Carter Dubsmash War: Ever-escalating brilliance for a great cause.
--Infinity War Family Feud: Have these people never seen the game Family Feud before?
--Assembling a Universe: This was cool, but it clearly came out in 2014 & so it's got no info past Winter Soldier.
--Expanding the Universe: This is just a highlight reel of the 2019 SDCC & D23 presentations.
--75 Years: From Pulp to Pop!: More Emily VanCamp is a good thing.

After the AoS finale next week, I'll have the season 7 write-up complete.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[March]

Thanks for the run, AoS.

[CaptHayfever]

Part...60.5!?


Agents of SHIELD season 7:

#7.01 "The New Deal":
--Dang, that's how they change faces? Do the victims die from it, or do they suffocate?
--Dat title card tho.
--I was right about why FitzSimmons have to be separated.
--I like when they remind us of Deke's savvy.
--Enoch has a version of Dr. Cho's regeneration cradle.
--Chroni-Coulson beat me to it.
--QUAKE used DYNAMIC PUNCH! It's super effective!
--Patton Oswalt is on this show.
--The dad jokes aren't a glitch; they're proof that you're working right.
--After you just made such a big thing out of "ripples, not waves", Mack.
--I get FDR being a red herring, but wouldn't Koenig be the target?
--Daisy, the cooks left the room, you can whip out the powers again.
--I get that the histories of SHIELD & Hydra are intertwined, but killing Malick's father won't stop *Arnim Zola* from planting those seeds.
--Where's Fitz?

#7.02 "Know Your Onions":
--Folks in the 30s have no trouble understanding two-way radios, but the batteries are confusing them.
--Yo-Yo. You have the worst reflexes in the world.
--Something is very very wrong with May.
--So that's why Freddy is the thread. I know it's tempting to erase the Red Skull from history, but without him, there's no Cap, no SHIELD, no Avengers.
--Mack is having a really hard time not making waves.
--Enoch knows kung fu.
--An 18-minute timer started with 18 minutes until the time slot ends. Again, this won't progress in real-time, but it's the little things.
--For a brief moment I thought Old Man Koenig had died.
--Ok, well, of all the characters to get left behind, the one who can safely take the slow path to catch up isn't the worst thing that can happen. But also YO-YO, YOU HAVE THE WORST REFLEXES IN THE WORLD.
--Stinger: Solid Casablanca reference.
--...Where's Fitz?

#7.03 "Alien Commies from the Future":
--Wow, they're so far in the past that car model years actually match the calendar years.
--Dat title card tho.
--Sibyl the Predictor, eh? I thought Malachi was calling the shots, but it looks like not so much.
--"Conspiracy Me was so right." I mean, that's why they grabbed you, Daisy.
--Mack & Elena holding hands in a 50s diner is not advisable.
--Simmons is pretending to be Peggy, because all these guards know is that she's English.
--Coulson & Simmons screening the science team is delightful.
--OH CRAP SOUSA'S HERE.
--Of course the guy who said "they identify as my grandparents" understands white privilege.
--A Chronicom isn't the only thing that could power that machine; the Tesseract is in SHIELD's possession right now too.
--Ok, May isn't possessed or brain-damaged; her years of suppressing trauma are just catching up with her. But something is very wrong with Yo-Yo.
--Uh-oh, is ChroniCoulson busted?
--...Where's Fitz?

#7.04 "Out of the Past":
--Dat title card tho.
--Noir Coulson just might be the best Coulson.
--There, see, they caught up with Enoch fast enough.
--"Now we're the Agents of Status Quo." Elena, that's because you're trying to stop other time-travellers from wiping out humanity, & any major change you make could HELP them do so.
--"A few encouraging calls." "Sounds like him." Yeah, that's basically how Howard operated back in the day.
--Whoa, the folks attacking Sousa are actual human spies, not Chronicoms.
--Great, now Hydra is gonna get in SHIELD's way of saving Hydra.
--Deke played it very smart with Freddy.
--Glad we finally understand what's up with May; her emotions being screwed up makes total sense. (This also proves Simmons isn't a robot.)
--LMD doing what it was designed to do. Sousa, you lucky duck.
--"Internal monologue's gone." And people think Deadpool is gonna be hard to fit into the MCU.
--......Where's Fitz???

#7.05 "A Trout in the Milk":
--Dat opening credits tho.
--The heck is up with Simmons's neck?
--And now we get Stoner in 3D.
--If Malick is still director in 1973, where's Peggy?
--Coulson & Sousa have a comfortable rapport.
--May uses her empath powers to confirm that Snicket is a good guy, but his refusal to break decorum helped as well.
--Young Gideon is the same actor as in the flashback in S3.
--Names we know on the list Daisy pulled up: Bruce Banner, Victoria Hand, Jim Morita, Roberto Gonzales, Nick Fury, Peggy Carter. Niceole Amador is probably Akela's mother.
--Enoch's entrance is glorious.
--Heh, "Patrick Kutik." It's a good thing the Tick isn't very smart.
--"Maybe you need a bigger computer." Heh, 50s mindsets about computers.
--We officially have a divergent timeline now, Endgame-style.
--.........WHERE'S FITZ???

#7.06 "Adapt or Die":
--Oof, so there's a couple dozen more hunters to deal with.
--That's a lot of flares...& they almost all worked.
--If the Chronicoms only thought to mimic emotions after several encounters with ChroniCoulson, then they're too stupid to deserve to win.
--Mack's dad right now.
--Sousa comforting Daisy after her first round of torture is super sweet.
--Simmons has something implanted in her brain to regulate her memories to keep her unpredictable by the other Chronicoms. Hopefully Enoch recovers pretty fast from Deke's misguided rescue attempt.
--Nathaniel got Daisy's power, alright, complete with the self-destructive drawback.
--"Dying? It's kinda my superpower." That's such a cool line to shove back in Sibyl's smug-Serenity-propaganda-teacher face. And with the New Warriors sitcom dropped, Coulson can become the MCU's Mr. Imm--oh, he exploded.
--Stoner, you rock.
--Oof. The good news is Mack & Ruben are already born at this point, so this particular tragedy won't have erased them.
--Oh, crap, they're stuck.
--Ok, I know we don't get to know where Fitz is,.........but WHERE'S FITZ!?

#7.07 "The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack & the D":
--Dat title card tho.
--"Ripples, not waves, remember?" Mack, Freddy Malick's continued life WAS a wave.
--"As I have always been," a Chromicom's favorite lie.
--Bloody hell, Mack's completely shut down. He's earned some grieving time, but so has the rest of the team, & they don't get it either.
--Don't you forget about Deke's history of stealing innovations while time-traveling continues.
--Solid A-Team reference. (I hope all this licensed music doesn't screw over a blu-ray release.)
--Phil Headroom. That is all.
--Just like in the original timeline, the Lighthouse was ultimately abandoned.
--If anything gets Mack back into action, it's killer robots.
--CHROME shotgun-axe.
--Initiate laser dodging!
--Mack & the D lost 20 months in total, but they at least slowed down Sibyl; she won't be able to build anything with the one dinky drone they mis...wait, how did Nathaniel survive!?
--And WHERE'S FITZ!?!?!?

#7.08 "After, Before":
--The glitch jumps seem to be getting smaller & smaller; I thought that would mean the ship would eventually just stop, but apparently it actually means it'll cease to exist.
--Dat title card tho.
--We can rebuild him. We have the technology.
--Teen Gordon's hair is pretty hilarious.
--I have no clue who this guy Li is bossing Jiaying around, which means he's probably gonna die, which means she's probably gonna be the one to kill him.
--Oh, he's Abel.
--Elena can give her real name to Jiaying no problem; they never met in the original timeline. Melinda, however, absolutely cannot leave any traceable identity in Afterlife.
--So, Yo-Yo's mojo is no-go because of her own poor reaction time from last season accelerating.
--May's love language is violence.
--ChroniCoulson could still feel thirst when he was just a TV?
--Literally as I was typing "Can they not give Sousa a new cane?", Simmons gave him a new LEG.
--Crap, Nathaniel is gonna make himself a multi-power abomination like Aida did.
--Kora is Jiaying's child!
--They all forgot that before Whitehall butchered her, Jiaying was 100% a good guy.
--Yo-Yo got a power up, but what about everything else?
--Obligatory "Where's Fitz?"

#7.09 "As I Have Always Been":
--*reads episode title* Crap, Enoch's gonna die.
--Obligatory dat title card tho.
--Mack got exposed to the time vortex; if Doctor Who has taught me anything, that's never good.
--Obligatory dat title card tho.
--Daisy figured out what's happening to her VERY fast, nice.
--Daisy & Coulson were both unconscious when the loop began, so that could explain how they know what's happening, but so was Sousa.
--Coulson's nervous breakdown is delightful.
--Seriously, Daisy is almost my age & I know what vinyl is.
--"Phlebotinum?" Simmons, you nerd; we love you.
--Coulson's nervous breakdown is tragic.
--"Deke's dead?" "Very." "Do we need to be sad about that?" "We do not." Even if you like Deke, that's true.
--Sousa's crushing hard on Daisy; she reminds him of Peggy.
--And she woa;sldhf;asdgfa'slcjdmsssssssss,f...sorry, Daisy & Sousa just kissed, Enoch's heart is the key to saving everybody, & Simmons apparently did something horrible that she's suppressing...which leads me to ask where's Fitz?
--Enoch & Coulson have a wonderful discussion on mortality. Then Enoch & Daisy have a wonderful discussion on family.
--"As I have always..."

#7.10 "Stolen":
--Nathaniel got to Baby Garrett (played by Paxton's kid!) & is screwing up the timeline even more.
--Aw, Deke's team is still around. The bad news is we're stranded in the mid-80s.
--Daisy is as done with the Lighthouse as the audience is, but learning about Kora gave her something new.
--Pretty sure Simmons is wrong about Fitz being dead, because Enoch would've known that, & he died thinking Fitz was alive.
--Awesome MixDeke Squad Mix. He really is Discount Star-Lord.
--Nathaniel did not expect Coulson to know how he was operating.
--So our final villain's this edgelord wannabe anarchist?
--Coulson's reactions to Baby Garrett are priceless.
--"Fascism's back." True that, sadly. Get your mail-in ballots postmarked by October 20th.
--The word "teleport" existed before the 80s, John.
--Daisy's being very careful about how she describes her experiences with Jiaying.
--Poor Baby Gordon...and Jiaying!?
--Malick just stole a time machine that he doesn't know (a) is broken, (b) can't be controlled from his end, & (c) Deke is running around inside of.
--Diana gets to do her job now. Where IS Fitz?

#7.11 "Brand New Day":
--Oh snap, Deke's seen Die Hard...well, that was fast. Who's flying the ship?
--It's officially a branch timeline.
--Coulson & Mack may be predictable, but they're not dumb enough to go on a killing spree through history like the Chronicoms have. Sibyl has been withholding info from Nathaniel; his team doesn't know what she wants with Earth.
--Yeah, Sousa was saved, but the consequences of his original death were preserved.
--SHIELD hasn't been "hell-bent on control" since the Triskelion fell in the original timeline.
--Sousa is pretty good with math. Strategic *Scientific* Reserve.
--Deke successfully kept the secret...too bad it didn't matter.
--Yup, of course Kora was a trojan horse. It was predictable; they just couldn't figure out how to stop it.
--"Maybe it's time. We had a crazy run." Mack gets the best lines.
--Dat Framework Ward callback tho. Kora's plan is not an option, Yo-Yo.
--"What are your intentions?" MACK GETS THE BEST LINES.
--Holy crap, new Fitz material!
--Props to Diana the implant for completely beating Malick. Simmons warned him. (Why does my heart hurt so much?)
--Holy crap. Ok, let's think this through: The map of bases was missing Providence (there were no targets in Ontario) & probably missing the Playground (the only DC-area target was the Triskelion). And obviously she didn't strike the Lighthouse even knowing where it was.

#7.12 "The End is at Hand":
--"Is it possible they're on the other side doing the exact same thing?" It's more likely they don't even know you're there; the docking impact was masked by the tractor beam turbulence.
--May feels a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror, & were suddenly silenced.
--Malick is lying straight to Kora's face, & she knows it.
--Deke's Fitz impression was pretty good.
--Daw, Sousa gets to remember this kiss.
--The Chronicoms still don't know what actually quaked the world apart!
--Yo-Yo FTW.
--Return of the Serenity staff!
--Just like before, Garrett turns on anyone who leaves him to die.
--Crap, Simmons can't remember ANYONE!?
--"Is this the future or the past? They look so similar." Ha.
--People still say peachy, Mack.
--Glad they didn't have to blow the Zephyr.
--Welp, so much for Garrett. Good shooting, Vicky.
--Yeah, that's a quantum tunnel. Welcome back, Fitz!

#7.13 "What We're Fighting For":
--Fitz was in the original timeline all along? This is *definitely* Endgame-style.
--Godspeed, Deke Shaw, Director of SHIELD.
--Fitz reconnecting with Simmons is precious.
--Holy crap, Piper & Flint! And Enoch!
--So the extra agents were *them* all along! And the missiles were targeting the Zephyr instead of the temple!
--No, not another freaking "reassignment." THE. CAVALRY. Bye, Sibyl!
--Daw, Jake & Cassie are beating the Howlers with a kiss! (Gotta admit, I really wanted to watch Malachi get ripped apart.)
--Holy crap, for a second I thought they were actually killing off Daisy. Thank goodness Kora's alive. Bye, Nathaniel!
--Ok, my wife & I both called that a FitzSimmons baby existed, but I'm still getting teary-eyed. (So the "bloodwork" was Simmons's pregnancy test!)
--"One year later" from season 6 is 2020. While this season used the time-travel model of Endgame (& technically FitzSimmons lived well past Endgame), the "present" anchor is still prior to Endgame.
--Piper wished for a Davis LMD!!!
--"136", ha-ha.
--Lola's alive!
--I just looked up the name "Alya" & found out it means "Sky(e)."

Executive summary: Ok, now I'm full-blown crying again. This season was a real roller coaster. All the period pieces in the first half were delightful wacky hijinks, & the emotional content of the last half was simply beautiful.

Helstrom write-up in October. Til then, this thread is switching back to its old discussion/news mode.


And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

News:
--Filming is resuming on the things.
--WandaVision is still on the 2020 release schedule, but Falcon & Winter Soldier is not.
--New Mutants is still/finally opening this Friday. If you have a drive-in nearby that's carrying it, cool; otherwise, though, wait for disc/stream/download.
--10 weeks until Black Widow...?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

News again:
--If you're hitting a drive-in for New Mutants, you'll get the first look at a new Black Widow trailer.
--Eternals is definitely gonna be ready for its new February release date. Hell, it'll probably still be ready for its original *November* release date.
--They've officially resequenced the Disney+ release slate: WandaVision is now first (as it can make its original December date), then Falcon & Winter Soldier, then season 1 of What If? (since it's already complete), then Loki, then Ms. Marvel, & then Hawkeye. (And presumably Moon Knight & She-Hulk after that.)

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

RIP Chadwick Boseman. :(
Supposedly nobody at Marvel even knew that Boseman had cancer, & Ryan Coogler is on the record that he was writing the screenplay for BP2 with T'Challa as the protagonist. Marvel has a few different options at this point that people have tossed around, none of which are great, but some of which make more sense than others:
1) Make Shuri become the Black Panther. This is comics canon anyway, & the film version of the character is very well-received.
2) Make M'Baku or Nakia become the Black Panther. This one is less obvious, but still workable.
3) Make Okoye become the Black Panther. This is just silly. She doesn't want that.
4) Recast T'Challa. Not a good plan at all, but still better than....
5) Resurrect Killmonger. Completely stupid idea.
No matter what, they have at least 6-8 months to come to a decision before they'd have to delay filming.

Specifically Ms. Marvel news:
--Adil El Arbi & Bilall Fallah will direct.
--Jasjit Williams & Saagar Shaikh will play yet-unconfirmed supporting rolls. (Shaikh is almost certainly Aamir Khan; he looks exactly like him. The article suggests that Williams will pay Bruno, but that throws out one of the key elements of Bruno's character, that he *isn't* the same race as Kamala. I'm thinking Williams will fit better as Kamran or as Red Dagger instead.)

Also, I can confirm that the Black Widow trailer attached to New Mutants is just the one from last March again, but with the release date at the end changed to match its new opening 2 months from now.
Also, 6 weeks until Helstrom finally drops.

And remember,....

[CaptHayfever]

Speaking of Helstrom, it will have a panel of some sort at NYCC next month, about a week before it's released, as will Hulu's MODOK cartoon (which is, along with Hit-Monkey, the only part of the "Offenders" package still surviving).

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[CaptHayfever]

Breaking: Jonathan Majors has reportedly been cast as Kang the Conqueror...in Ant-Man 3.
Also: Kat Coiro has been hired as director/showrunner of She-Hulk.
Also also: We have fully official confirmation that WandaVision WILL begin in 2020.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"