OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD: where we complain about popular things in media we don't like to feel better about ourselves

[steeze]

I'm sick of hearing about Donald Trump on the news. Just so pitifully over it. The name Donald is like hearing my grandmother say moist or ointment. I'm going on a cruise in December and that cannot come fast enough. Get me away from my phone the television and the newspapers. In the meantime, I don't want to hear about species going extinct, shootings etc. Just give me a day of inspiration and happy stuff in the media sphere.

[Booyakasha]

I hate the Wilhelm Scream.

Why do people continue to put it in their movies. It's so far past 'unacceptible' that it isn't even funny any more.

The Wilhelm is allowed in the real SW flicks, and the real Indiana Jones movies, and 'Willow'. Maybe a couple other flicks (anything pre-ANH gets a pass, natch, and I'll give Tarantino the bennie of the doubt). Most everywhere else, it is an affront.

I was so, so angry when I heard it in 'The Force Awakens'. I was engrossed in TFA, man. Fully enjoying it. And then I heard a Wilhelm, and I thought to myself, 'Wilhelm', and instantly immersion evaporated. My brain turned back on. I was no longer a vapour chasing behind Rey and Finn and Poe on their nutty adventures---------I was again an ugly satan-worshipping moron, watching a sh*tty movie for children whilst waiting for death. What a kick in the fruitstand. I thought about walking out, and I never walk out. I sat through every moment of 'Meet the Spartans', for cliff's sake, and I was angry enough at TFA that I considered walking out.

I've nearly bought 'Atomic Blonde' on DVD multiple times, and inevitably decided against. Mostly because my movie collection is already too obscenely decadent for words (I will never consume all of the media I own), but at least slightly because there's a Wilhelm. The titular character is dusting off a bunch of East German/Soviet government thugs, and one of them Wilhelms, and suddenly I'm annoyed to be looking at a movie in which Charlize Theron brutally smashes bad guy dudes to bits with her bare hands, and also gets her clothes off. You think about that, homey. 'Atomic Blonde' should be my new 'Kill Bill Vol 1', and I'm hesitant to buy it. That's wrong. I'm not the villain, here.

Wilhelms ruin movies. I wish some Hollywood guy, some director or producer, would just corner his whole sound editing crew and say, 'Do not put a Wilhelm in my movie. If you do, I will notice it, and I will never again allow you to work on one of my projects.' Hollywood bigwigs could eliminate the Wilhelm, if they actually cared about making art, instead of just making picktcher shows for the pigs to snort laughter at whilst shoveling popcorn and jujubes into their maws. Ugh. Detestable. What a shambles.

[mushroom]

stupid clouds

[Booyakasha]

...maybe I should just make peace with the Wilhelm.

I could do it. 'Rick and Morty' does Howie Screams often enough, and I'm fine with it. And like how often do old movies borrow musical cues? 'The Kid' steals "The Evening Star" from Tannhäuser many many times, and 'The Kid' is one of my favouritests.

[Sim Kid]

I AM super tired of works within themselves throwing in a boring het romance and pretending it's in any way interesting. Who cares. Do something more interesting with your character interactions and motivations please.

Here's my issue with romances - because they start hijacking character arcs and turning it into "Will they or won't they?"

It's an easy way to make two character arcs for the price of one.

[Deepfake]

I AM super tired of works within themselves throwing in a boring het romance and pretending it's in any way interesting. Who cares. Do something more interesting with your character interactions and motivations please.

Here's my issue with romances - because they start hijacking character arcs and turning it into "Will they or won't they?"

It's an easy way to make two character arcs for the price of one.

Boy/girl plots are a huge cop-out, they work based on contrivances of miscommunication, etc, it's very boring and entirely down to the whims of the writers. Especially frustrating when film-time is real-time and they've known eachother for a total of an hour thirty minutes before they start giving eachother doe eyes and all that ****.

[Booyakasha]

So the idea of Lovecraft's monsters is a lot scarier than the fact most of the time.

Cthulhu gets built up as this huge terrifying entity, this world-conquering threat, and when he emerges, some rando rams a boat into him, and that's all it takes for Chulhu to go 'all right already!' and scamper back into R'lyeh so he can sleep some more. Paper tiger, man.

And how about the Dunwich Horror, huh? All it takes to beat him is a ritual, and Yog-Sothoth doesn't lift a finger to protect his grody monster son. What, is he too busy banging his hot trophy wife Lavinia Whateley in Yucky Lovecraft Heaven to notice his kids dying? Father of the Year, right there. For pete's sake.

It's like how the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer using mundane technology. They didn't need to draw any pentagrams with white chalk and salt, or sacrifice a two-headed goat, or wield mystical flaming athames------------they just shot him full of holes with their tommy guns. Wow, super tough he was. Venkman even had time to avoid getting drenched in marshmallow guck. Think there's a lesson, there---------don't be afraid of terrifying supernatural entities, because a lot of them are pretty lame.

(EDIT: Cthulhu gets defeated the same way as Ursula the Sea-Witch, doesn't he. Prince Eric smushes a boat into Ursula's tummy at the end of the movie. I guess she gets impaled on the bowsprit. Still, though, Ursula at least has the dignity to die, instead of running away whilst crying and going peepee in her pants and then jumping into bed and hiding under the covers. Good on Ursula, man. Ursula's cool. She gets a great villain song. Cthulhu don't get no villain song. Wouldn't it be great if he sang 'Sweet Transvestite' or something? Maybe wearing a Frank N Furter outfit? Just blue-skyin, here.)

(EDIT2: Next time Cthulhu rises from the sea, we should just send Mechagodzilla to fight him. And if Mechagodzilla fails, next up come the Ghostbusters piloting the animate Statue of Liberty.

...I should be a Hollywood screenwriter.

I'd be great.)

[Booyakasha]

'Deadwood' is so goddamn good. There's never been a better show on television, for my money. There have been close, mind----------HBO's own 'Rome' and 'Boardwalk Empire'. I simply think 'Deadwood' is better. Also I like cartoons----------I'd say 'Steven Universe' is perhaps as good, only there are inevitably lines it won't cross as a matter of course, and that's a detriment. 'Steven Universe' don't have an Al Swearengen. It hasn't any place for an Al Swearengen. That isn't a disadvantage for a children's show, but as a contender against shows for adults, it's a liability.

(EDIT: Tell you what. One of my favouritest parts of 'Deadwood', and I never ever realised it before now, was seein blossoming the odd unlikely friendship/romance between Calamity Jane and Joanie Stubbs. I've been watching clips all day, and it feels real as hell, and it's strangely heartwarming.

[Deepfake]

So the idea of Lovecraft's monsters is a lot scarier than the fact most of the time.

Cthulhu gets built up as this huge terrifying entity, this world-conquering threat, and when he emerges, some rando rams a boat into him, and that's all it takes for Chulhu to go 'all right already!' and scamper back into R'lyeh so he can sleep some more. Paper tiger, man.

And how about the Dunwich Horror, huh? All it takes to beat him is a ritual, and Yog-Sothoth doesn't lift a finger to protect his grody monster son. What, is he too busy banging his hot trophy wife Lavinia Whateley in Yucky Lovecraft Heaven to notice his kids dying? Father of the Year, right there. For pete's sake.

It's like how the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer using mundane technology. They didn't need to draw any pentagrams with white chalk and salt, or sacrifice a two-headed goat, or wield mystical flaming athames------------they just shot him full of holes with their tommy guns. Wow, super tough he was. Venkman even had time to avoid getting drenched in marshmallow guck. Think there's a lesson, there---------don't be afraid of terrifying supernatural entities, because a lot of them are pretty lame.

(EDIT: Cthulhu gets defeated the same way as Ursula the Sea-Witch, doesn't he. Prince Eric smushes a boat into Ursula's tummy at the end of the movie. I guess she gets impaled on the bowsprit. Still, though, Ursula at least has the dignity to die, instead of running away whilst crying and going peepee in her pants and then jumping into bed and hiding under the covers. Good on Ursula, man. Ursula's cool. She gets a great villain song. Cthulhu don't get no villain song. Wouldn't it be great if he sang 'Sweet Transvestite' or something? Maybe wearing a Frank N Furter outfit? Just blue-skyin, here.)

(EDIT2: Next time Cthulhu rises from the sea, we should just send Mechagodzilla to fight him. And if Mechagodzilla fails, next up come the Ghostbusters piloting the animate Statue of Liberty.

...I should be a Hollywood screenwriter.

I'd be great.)

I think if they did it right, it would basically be Cloverfield. Giant terror thing awakens as if from nowhere arrives and nothing can stop it, movie ends on everyone being f***ed. Happy endings can really take the oomph out of eldritch terrors. At least 'In the Mouth of Madness' didn't try to play nice with its ending.

[Booyakasha]

Well, I mean. An eldritch terror has to be pretty easy to unzip if you're going to have a happy ending. Remember how terrified everyone in Oz was of the Wicked Witches of East and West, only to have some dopey Kansas farm-girl kill them both by sheer accident in the space of a week?

If Dorothy and her friends had had to take on Gruntilda, now, the movie'd have had a different ending entirely. Jeepers creepers.

(EDIT: Nothin against Dorothy and her pals, of course. Dorothy's a tough, mean kid, but still good at heart. Like Annie, or Luke. I love her, man.)

[Booyakasha]

I miss the sheer visual lunacy of some of them big Disney musical numbers, man, from back when they did 2D animation. The likes of "Three Caballeros", and "Be Our Guest", and "Never Had a Friend Like Me", and "Friends on the Other Side", yeah. Those things pushed the envelope in terms of creativity.

The current 3D animation style is very crisp and beautiful to look at, I'll grant, but you never get characters going off model, or things going totally bananas. It's a visual medium, for cliff's sake-------------explore the space, why not. Think you need 2D for that, maybe.

(EDIT: You know, Adam Sandler has the money and influence to make 'Hotel Transylvania 4' all in 2D. He could do it. Might actually go see it in-theatre. (Are them Hotel Transylvania flicks any good at all? Haven't seen a one. You'd think I would have, spending months a year looking after three (soon to be four!) under-tens.) (Went to see 'Teen Titans' movie with the kids. It was merely okay, but I don't mind telling you, it was nice to see 2D animation on the big screen again. Think the last time was 'Princess and the Frog'.)

[EDIT2: "You're Welcome" from 'Moana' came close, you know. Had all those crazy 2D elements and all. Great sequence, and boy but the Rock did an awesome job. Good on him, man. I love seeing a pro wrestler make a fantastic movie for once.]

[Calamity Panfan]

Yeah I really miss traditional 2D animation. I should watch more of those 2D movies that get nominated for Oscars but never have a chance of winning because they're not made by the Disney-Pixar machine.

[Apollo the Just]

I really keep meaning to watch The Breadwinner because same. 3D animation really shouldn’t be considered a replacement for 2D. The aesthetics are very different.

(Then again there are plenty of 3D animated films that have more... style? to them than the Disney/Pixar and Dreamworks flicks. The Book of Life and Coco are both **** fantastic films and I adore both of them, but TBoL is more free with its designs. LAIKA also takes more liberties and their films are stunning.)

Related, Teen Titans Go! was one of my favorite movies to come out recently, and half of it is because it memes real hard but the other half is it just goes ass bonkers in presentation because it’s heavily stylized and therefore it totally can.

[Booyakasha]

I really loved the artistry and character design in 'The Book of Life', but I didn't like the movie itself---------thought it was poorly-written and trite. I believe I'd buy an art-book of the film (there's one available at Amazon), and maybe I'd buy a copy of the movie for archival purposes, but I wouldn't watch it just for funzies, any more than i'd watch some trash like 'Happy Feet'.

[Booyakasha]

You know, it's a commonly-held belief that the old Warner Bros Looney Tunes are funnier than Disney cartoons from the same era.

I present the Goofy Sports cartoons as a compelling counterargument. Watched 'Hockey Homicide' for the first time in ages just now, and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. The football, basketball, baseball, tennis and golf ones are a stitch, too, but none of them gave me those oxygen-deprivation sparkles in my eyes.

(EDIT: Speaking of Goofy, and also of Disney musical numbers, I really like the "Shake Your Groove Thing" scene from 'An Extremely Goofy Movie'. The animation is just nice to look at. It's so smooth, man. Like, I've never seen the film, and was surprised to learn that scene came from a direct-to-video movie-----------I've seen quite a few of Disney's direct-to-video sequels, and a lot of them look crummy compared to the original. (EDIT2: Also Goofy's lady-friend is some hot stuff, man. I'm no furry, and even I can see why everyone's jaws drop there. Goofy's one lucky dawg.)

Bill Farmer, the current voice of Goofy, also voiced Sam in 'Sam and Max Hit the Road'. He did a really good job----------kind of a slightly silly version of Sam Spade, you know? It worked perfectly for the "film noir wearing a Napoleon hat" tone of the game. Wish they could have got Bill Farmer for the cartoon show and the Telltale games. Them other VAs talk kind of slow and dopey. Sam should sound like Bogart, not like a cartoon turtle!)

[Booyakasha]

So I'm really annoyed at all the mindless hatred and bannings of 'Huckleberry Finn', just because it has the dreaded n-word in it lots and lots.

It's a far better, deeper story than 'Tom Sawyer', and Huck is by far a more likeable, less racist, less callous person than Tom. Tom is such a turd, man.

'Huckleberry Finn' needs to be viewed in its context-----------1840s America, when the n-bomb was simply part of the lexicon. Throwing a classic piece of literature under the bus for having period language is absurd. Huck isn't trying to hurt anyone. He's a good boy.

[Apiary Tazy]

There's a lot of people that dislike anything depicting racism in any way that makes it more than "good vs. bad". It's the same with To Kill A Mockingbird because it's not harsh enough, like everything has to be a happy ending.

Which is odd, because almost none of the books I read in high school had out and out happy endings for the main characters. Not every story is Harry Potter where the main character gets the highest prestigious award just cuz, that means nothing.

[Booyakasha]

I'm so goddamned sick of this 'Joy Luck Club'-ass garbage.

I mean...I love 'A Gathering of Old Men'. Like, that spoke to me, man. And I'm lookin over this crappy list of books that matter to Americans. Naturally 'Joy Luck Club' and 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Catcher in the Rye' and 'Beloved' and sh*t are on there. Where is 'Les Miserables'? Or 'A Farewell to Arms'? Naturally there's nothin by Bierce, or Poe, or Lovecraft, or Ellison. Naturally no 'Idylls of the King'. Why would there be.

Get the heck out of here with your dang 'Twilight' and 'Da Vinci Code' and 'Lord of the Rings', and take 'Left Behind' and 'Fifty Shades' with you, fools. Ugh. For shame.

[Apiary Tazy]

READY PLAYER ONE IS ON THERE?!?!

Ugh... Erk... No... Stop... Urk...! Not the f**king reference book please...! How can that be somebody's favorite book? That's like saying your favorite drInK iS nAtTiE lIgHt--

[United Nations]

There's a lot of people that dislike anything depicting racism in any way that makes it more than "good vs. bad". It's the same with To Kill A Mockingbird because it's not harsh enough, like everything has to be a happy ending.

My reason for hating To Kill a Mockingbird is because it’s a book about race that’s been whitewashed and written by a white woman who sets up the hero as a white savior. It’s much more effective to just read research about the Scotsboro Trials on your own instead of reading this version of them.