This might be a long month...

Discussion should include supportive responses.

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#21

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:08 am

Meh, I don't see the harm in double-tapping the issue to make sure its down. Just be cool about it, let some time pass. After that, obviously drop it if things don't go well.

If zombies have taught us anything its that you should never be sure after the first attempt that it's finished. Otherwise, what have they died for...?

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#22

Post by monstrman » Mon Apr 21, 2014 7:23 pm

Who knows, maybe she wants you to try a little harder. Obviously give her some time for now, but I wouldn't personally just let this one lie for too long

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#23

Post by Calamity Panfan » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:18 pm

well apparently my suspicions were correct? She wants to be absolutely sure that she wants to get into something before doing so. I'm taking her out in a few weeks when she visits and we'll use that as a sort of trial run or something I guess.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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#24

Post by Calamity Panfan » Sat May 10, 2014 10:27 pm

So tonight I got to go on my date with her. We had a nice dinner and got to talk a lot and laugh. Eventually the topic turned to the Big Thing and she told me that ultimately she's struggled with it and she was confused but she doesn't feel like we're "there" and so she told me that she just wants to be friends. She told me that around the same time we started talking, there was another guy she liked and that she was really confused. And even though things didn't work out with that other guy and she's even over him, she realized that when it all came down to it, she doesn't feel about me the same as she felt about him when she liked him. She said she wished it could work out but it's ultimately unfair to me (and it would be unfair to her as well) if she said yes and wasn't 100% into the relationship. She said that more than anything she doesn't ever want to stop talking because she doesn't think she could handle that. She apologized a million times and told me she hoped I wasn't mad at her and thinking that she was leading me on because she wasn't leading me on because she really wasn't sure about this.

She told me to say everything I had to say, which wasn't much. I told her I really like her but I understand that she doesn't feel the same way. I told her it might be a few days but I think that what we have as friends is strong enough to get through this and get back to normal. I told her that I was more than fine with just being friends because in the end I don't give a **** what she is in my life as long as she's still there because she means a lot to me. I told her that I'll be trying to move on, and that I don't even expect it to happen, but if she ever feels like we could be there, to just tell me. (Because it has happened to me that a girl has been into me after she's initally turned me down and never talked to me about it)

A lot of people have asked me if I ever think things will be back to the way they were before this all happened. At this point, I can't see us ever being back to normal but that's not a bad thing. Relationships change, and that's what happened here. I don't know how I could be mad at her. I respect her too much and understand where she's coming from because I saw in her face how much this hurt her and how she didn't want it to be like this, but she can't change that she doesn't feel the same way I do. If it's not there, it's not there. It sucks, but it's something we all have to deal with.

ACTUALLY I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE A GIRL DIDN'T LIKE ME AND THAT IS LITERALLY THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE I'M A NICE GUY AND NICE GUYS NEVER WIN. IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SO NICE THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME. DAE HATE FRIENDZONE!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?! SHES SUCH A BITCH

tl;dr: closure is nice.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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#25

Post by United Nations » Sat May 10, 2014 11:46 pm

:( I like how you're handling this and I think you're absolutely right--relationships change. I hope you're able to put this behind you and enjoy your time with her as friends. Tough luck, Panny.

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#26

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sun May 11, 2014 12:12 am

Well, that's that. Sorry bro.

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#27

Post by Apollo the Just » Sun May 11, 2014 12:48 am

Relationships totally change. And I'm really sorry it didn't work out but you're handling this really well. *hugs*

I don't know if this is going to make you feel better like even in the slightest, but the person I once had a very similar almost-dated-but-she-realized-she-didn't-feel-the-same thing with, after a necessary time of awkward and space and feelings being hurt, our relationship is different now, but I think we're closer than we were before because now everything is on the table. Just take the time to heal and you'll both be okay.

It's like... it sucks, but it also feels good when everyone is honest and everyone knows where everyone stands.

*more hugs*
I believe in second chances, and that's why I believe in you.

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#28

Post by Calamity Panfan » Sun May 11, 2014 4:05 pm

*hugs CL*

Thanks, all.

I think this is the first time where I've been in a situation like this where we've been 100% honest with each other and that makes it feel so much better. There aren't more questions. I know where she stands and she knows where I stand, and I'm ready to move on.

And I really am confident that this situation will only lead to our friendship growing stronger. Maybe it won't be for a few weeks, but I know from past experiences that if we both put in the effort to move on that we'll only become closer than we were. I may not have come out of this with a girlfriend, but I think I do have another best friend, and that's okay too.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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#29

Post by CaptHayfever » Sun May 11, 2014 4:39 pm

You da man, fan of pan. :)

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

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#30

Post by spooky scary bearatons » Mon May 12, 2014 10:38 am

keep on truckin buddy, if theres one thing i can promise is that there are a metric **** ton of asswipes out there and you seemingly have found someone who isnt one made a good friend despite all of this.
"whether you have or have no wealth, the system might fail you, but don't fail yourself" -
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#31

Post by smol Kat » Tue May 13, 2014 12:16 pm

I'm glad she still wants to be part of your life, dude :) ))
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#32

Post by Deepfake » Wed May 14, 2014 12:42 pm

Whatever happens, happens. You're not an unlovable rock, I'm 102% certain, so don't hesitate to keep on going. It's not easy but it's plenty possible to love more than one person in your life, and to meet someone who makes you think everyone else you ever liked beforehand was just a fake out.
I muttered 'light as a board, stiff as a feather' for 2 days straight and now I've ascended, ;aughing at olympus and zeus is crying

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