Be more social.

[VG_Addict]

OK, I'm not a very social person. I wasn't in middle or high school. As a result, I don't have many, if any, friends. About the only social interaction I have is when I go to church. What do I do?

[Bomby]

Talk to random strangers, but say something like it's in the middle of the conversation. Like, just walk up to someone who is being quiet and be like, "oh, I totally get what you're saying."

[Scarecrow]

Maybe you could join some groups and get to know people there, that's how I've met most of my friends, through sports and work.

[VG_Addict]

This will probably sound overly dramatic, but I'm worried that it's too late for me to learn to be social. I'm 21.

[Kil'jaeden]

Just pretend to care about what people are saying. It is what everyone else does.

[Marilink]

[QUOTE="Kil'jaeden, post: 1462329, member: 26719"]Just pretend to care about what people are saying. It is what everyone else does.[/QUOTE]
As cynical as ever, Kil.

Actually be interested in what other people are saying. That goes a long way.

[Booyakasha]

Not to dismiss your concerns, VGA (I'm a bit agoraphobic myself), but, really, the only way to learn to be social is to engage in society. I mean, you can't really get good at things without a bit of practice.

Maybe try a group or club or something that appeals to your interests, like SC suggested-----like, that immediately gives you common ground with others, something to talk about. Shared experience is a pretty good foundation to build relationships on, for good or ill.

[VG_Addict]

But I'm taking online courses at my local community college because I can't drive due to a brain injury.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

My advice is not to worry about being social. If you're not already social, then you must not really want to be. If there's something holding you back from being social, and you want to be, then analyze whatever issues you have, internal or otherwise, and work through them.

I'm not really social. Part of that comes from some of my own issues, but I really do just like my own personal space. Maybe you're like that, too? Basically, don't feel some pressure to be social just "because."

[spooky scary bearatons]

can i point something out here, being a pretty social person myself that is to say, do not dismiss online friendships, I know a lot of people in person and i'll tell you right now, very few of them match up to the love i have for certain members of this website. Being social is not something limited to person to person interactions, if you want to get better at communicating with people, i'd start by trying to establish closer friendships with people you care for online, that's certainly how i began when i was younger.

When it comes to genuine person to person interaction theres a bit more thought required, for instance, online here at least we ave one global interest, and thats video games, which ofc then spreads off into a number of pop-culture based interests, this leads to members always being able to communicate with one another about video games directly. In person that becomes a bit more difficult since you have to realise not everyone will share common interests. For instance, my Girlfriend knows nothing of video games, but we share interests in music and reading. If you're concerned about that initial connection, things to talk about, take up a hobby, or find people who share a hobby with you.

Most importantly, feel free to get involved with whatever these new people are doing, i've recently taken up magic: the gathering despite having no previous love for card games.

i just recently spent £80 on a booster box, **** is so cash.

sorry if this is an inane ramble that makes little to no sense forgive me, im way too sleepy to be any form of coherent at the moment.

[Apollo the Just]

I find that if you can find any way to meet someone through shared interests-- clubs, activities, etc-- then honestly just talking to someone on the basis of that shared interest can go a long way. Because as long as you have that one conversation-starter in common, what I find is really rewarding about connecting with people is using that mutual grounds to actually have conversations-- like, about your middle school experiences or your general philosophy on life or what the hell ever. Or maybe even about your shared interest, but more introspective (like, what does it mean to you, or like, analyze it or something-- make it more personal).

Like, interests are great because they give you that thing that you know you can talk about with others, and then you can use that to actually form a substantial connection. That's what matters to me, at any rate.

Like, I'm with Masa-- there are people on this site that mean a lot to me. But we aren't friends because we all like video games. Video games brought us together and we are friends because we used that mutual interest to actually converse and learn about each other.

So, talking about your life, asking about their life, learning about them... that's, in my opinion, what makes socializing worth it. And any forum for shared interests and activities is a great way to have something in common on which to form conversations that develop into these more meaningful connections.

just my two cents, good luck with everything!

[United Nations]

Be social takes courage, that's for certain. There are some days all I want to do is crawl in bed and avoid everyone because everyone sucks. And that's the easy thing to do. The difficult thing to do is go up to someone and start a conversation, but honestly, VGA, it's the most rewarding thing to. It's not easy, it doesn't come naturally, but it's like that for nearly everyone. You're not alone in craving social interaction but not knowing how to do it. All I can say is that it takes practice.

What works for me is I usually try to compliment someone on one thing. It could be their necklace, their pretty eyes, their shoes, whatever. Usually people will be genuinely surprised by the compliment and will open up to a story about it or just say thank you with a smile. Even if nothing comes out of it, it's practice. It's experience in being social. Try it. :)

It's not easy, and it won't ever come easily if you're anything like me. But you just have to try. It's rewarding because people are the most interesting/fascinating creatures there are.

[smol Kat]

Become involved in your community. When you get the urge to be with people, be with people. When you get the urge to be by yourself, make time for yourself. :)

[Deepfake]

[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE POKEMON!, post: 1462342, member: 18119"]My advice is not to worry about being social. If you're not already social, then you must not really want to be. If there's something holding you back from being social, and you want to be, then analyze whatever issues you have, internal or otherwise, and work through them.

I'm not really social. Part of that comes from some of my own issues, but I really do just like my own personal space. Maybe you're like that, too? Basically, don't feel some pressure to be social just "because."[/QUOTE]
My advice is to continue worrying about being social, but don't do anything about it. Encapsulate your body in a cocoon of tangible anxiety and awkwardness, practice being socially backwards to such an extent that you cause other people to question whether or not they're the ones who are actually awkward.



Disclaimer: I never said I give good advice.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

That is the most awesome thing I've ever heard.

[smol Kat]

welp AI wins we can close the thread