Worried about my friend.

VG_Addict · #1

Remember that guy I talked about in one of my threads? The one where I asked you to rate his stories? Well, I'm a little worried about him. He's 30 and didn't go to college, and he still lives at home. I suggested that he go to a vocational school, but he still says no. I want him to be a success in life. How do I convince him?

X-3 · #2

You can't. Only he'll be able to make himself do something.

DarkZero · #3

Ask him what his idea of success is, and if he thinks he's achieved it. If he has, then there's nothing he needs to do. If he hasn't, then offer encouragement. There's really not much you personally can or should do.

b l a n k · #4

I agree with Dizzy on this one. Perhaps you should ask your friend what he really, really wants out of life. Does he want to have a wife and family? To make a boatload of cash? To help a third-world country attain a higher standard of living? To discover the cure for cancer? To do some combination of these?

If he has all he wants out of life, then he can live with his parents until he's old and they've passed on. Otherwise, he should really consider what beautiful opportunities the real world has to offer.

#5

It's his life to live how he wants. What you, or anyone else, think of as "success" might not make him happy. Be a good friend by supporting what he wants to do.

VG_Addict · #6

But he told me not to ask him personal questions.

You guys probably think I'm a bad friend for pressuring him.

monstrman · #7

Oh. My. God. No one thinks you're a bad friend or a bad person. You asked for advice and that was exactly what was given. I don't mean to sound mean, but every word out of your mouth is p. Much you bashing yourself and it's not cool man. If you don't treat yourself right no one will

VG_Addict · #8

But I don't want him to feel pressured by me.

b l a n k · #9

Hey, brother, don't let that stop you. Help him face his fear of personal questions. Trust is the key word here.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #10

What more do you know about him? None of what you mentioned about him is inherently bad nor in need of change but if there's real problems (like if he's severely depressed and can't function properly, for example) then it's your duty as a true friend to help.

However, if he honestly wants his privacy, I'd grant it.

Random User · #11

I have a feeling that this topic is going to wind up going in circles.

Again.

#12

Maybe he doesn't like you asking personal questions because you've already made assumptions about what's "best for him". Just be a friend, don't try and badger him. It's not up to you to decide what he should do. Be happy that he's happy. Hang out, chat, play boardgames or multiplayer video games, grab something to eat together, watch a movie, take a walk through the woods, whatever. Don't tell him to change. He is an adult, after all.

Kil'jaeden · #13

So he has not been to college. How does this make a problem? Are you trying to say he is unemployed, other people are assuming that. You just said he lives at home. In some places, that would be the normal arrangement. Not everyone has the money for a house, and getting 100,000 dollars into debt over one is a big commitment. If he has his own money, I do not see the problem. It just adds money to the family pool. Does he have a farm to inherit or something like that? It is hard to analyze without details.

VG_Addict · #14

Well, he's currently looking for a job.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #15

If he's looking for one, then try helping him. Keep an eye out for job openings, and whatever else you can do.

b l a n k · #16

What types of jobs is he looking for at this time?

The Missing Link · #17

HOW TO BE A FRIEND IN SIX SIMPLE STEPS
Step 1: Listen to him.
Step 2: Don't interrupt.
Step 3: If he asks for advice, give it.
Step 4: If he doesn't ask for advice, keep your yap shut about it.
Step 5: ???
Step 6: PROFIT

VG_Addict · #18

He said he's looking to work at a movie theater, maybe as a janitor.

I just think he could be doing more with his life.

mushroom · #19

Some people are just janitors dude

The Missing Link · #20

It may be true, but the world needs janitors as much as we need nuclear engineers. It may not be glamorous, but life needn't be glamorous to make a difference.