It's a strange situation.

[Bomby]

So I have an old friend from my old job. I had always kind of liked her, and it seemed like she always kind of liked me. Even though we never actually hung out, she suddenly contacted me back in the beginning of April wanting to hang out. I waited, like, forever to actually hang out with her, but we barbecued and bar hopped last Friday. Throughout the night, especially toward the end, she seemed to be sending more and more subtle cues that she liked me. Or maybe it was just her friendliness or the fact that she'd had a bit of alcohol.

So, yeah, I guess I kind of like her again now.

A couple problems:
1. I neglected to ask if she's staying in town all summer, but I do know that she's studying abroad next semester, so I wouldn't be able to see her again until January.
2. Since she's a Chinese citizen, she'd only have two months to find a job after she graduates next year, since she wants to stay in the US. This really has bit less to do specifically with my interest in her, but more so it bothers me due to my personal beliefs on immigration, which I believe should be a much easier process for college graduates who could contribute much to our society. It's especially difficult at the moment for Chinese and Indian citizens to get green cards, due to a waiting period that isn't set to clear up for 5-6 years.

So at the moment I'm thinking the smart thing would be to not go after her. Right now there's another friend of mine who I was much more interested in before Friday night, plus a woman at work I'm quite attracted to (a bit older, but no wedding ring!), not to mention that waitress whose number I got last Wednesday. But she's been on my mind a lot for the past few days.

Edit: Yeah, she's going back to China for the summer next week, so... yeah.

[Dux is not you]

It's strange, yet it's all sorted out "for the moment"? Boring.

[Bomby]

I wasn't really asking for advice so much as just slashing open the jugular of my frustration near the internet walls, so others would have to deal with the stench of its rotten cream filling.

[DarkZero]

^That works. That's usually what I do in the rare times that I vent.

[Nomyt]

You'll be surprised at the amount of times I've written loads on here, to just feel better and delete it all at the end of writing.

[Bomby]

I should practice that more often. But I like to make myself look like a whiner.

[Dux is not you]

Oh, I see, it's okay, I guess. We're on VGF after all.

It's still boring :(

[United Nations]

Bomby, I totally see where your frustration is coming from. You like her and there's no way to get attached to her without getting hurt. Some people are worth long-distance, but it sounds like you have other options with women, so it's probably best not to pursue her. Best wishes, and you don't sound whiny to me.

Also, when I'm having an emotional breakdown and need to let it all out, I open up Microsoft Word and just write what I'm feeling from every possible angle with no editting. When I'm done, I read it over and then delete it. It's a very good venting system I've been doing for 6 or 7 years now.

[Dux is not you]

Bomby, I totally see where your frustration is coming from. You like her and there's no way to get attached to her without getting hurt. Some people are worth long-distance, but it sounds like you have other options with women, so it's probably best not to pursue her. Best wishes, and you don't sound whiny to me.

Also, when I'm having an emotional breakdown and need to let it all out, I open up Microsoft Word and just write what I'm feeling from every possible angle with no editting. When I'm done, I read it over and then delete it. It's a very good venting system I've been doing for 6 or 7 years now.

What's the point of deleting it?

[United Nations]

^It's like the equivalent of "letting go." Why keep it? To look back on it and be unhappy again and bring up those raw emotions? No, thank you. It's almost like throwing your problems in the trash. Actually, it is dumping it in your computer's trash. hah.

[Dux is not you]

Oh, I see. That's probably why I have a hard time letting go. :(

[Bomby]

Bomby, I totally see where your frustration is coming from. You like her and there's no way to get attached to her without getting hurt. Some people are worth long-distance, but it sounds like you have other options with women, so it's probably best not to pursue her. Best wishes, and you don't sound whiny to me.

This is pretty much it spot on. I guess it's mostly that I don't want to get attached but I'm feeling like the damage is already done. I guess in this situation its been kind of on/off ever since we met two years ago, so I shouldn't be surprised that when we finally hung out again after a long time of not seeing each other that the feelings would come back. I guess the fact that it seems to be pretty much mutual also helped.

I know she wants to see me again before she leaves, so I guess that will be nice. When we were dropped out, she made a point of pointing out which house she was at. ("This one is my house. The brown one. This one right here.")

So I have other options, and that's what I'm planning on pursuing. If nothing else works out, there's always the possibility of something when she gets back to America I guess, but I know better from experience that it's never good to have your heart set on one person.

I could delete this but whatever. Have fun reading my thoughts.

[United Nations]

^Sometimes having your heart set on someone works out, but it's so rare. It's hard to count on one person like that because you set the bar so high in your mind when they're gone. It's easy to get disappointed when they come back. Always have options and take it one day at a time. Thinking too much about the future can only set you back especially when it doesn't work out the way you planned. I think you're headed the right way, you just wish it didn't have to be this way. I totally understand that. Good luck, man.

[Bomby]

>> ITT: Bomby continues to liveblog his life as it happens.

So I partied with her again last Saturday, and I'm still not quite sure what to think about it. It might have just been the relative moods we were in (she was bored with the party by the time I got there, I had been kind of bored all day and didn't really have much to say), but the chemistry between us wasn't there as much as it usually is. After a while I was trying not to be too clingy to her at the party, since she was really the only person there that I knew. Most of the people there were too drunk to get to know, though after a while I had a good conversation with one of her friends that I hadn't met before. After the party died down somewhat she seemed to be talking to me a bit more again. Maybe it's all just worrisome thoughts in my head. Then when I was about to leave the party, we had a sweet little goodbye complete with the best hug ever.

So... yeah. Confused. I'm still 90% sure that at the attraction between the two of us had always been mutual, but I have no clue if it is anymore after that night. Not like it really matters at this point in time, anyway, since she'll be leaving for a long time soon.

I haven't really tried to contact her and I'm thinking it's probably in my best interests not to for a while, though I have to admit there's still that part of me hoping she sends a message my way before she leaves, which is supposed to be this week but she has to wait until she receives a visa for the country she will be having an internship in. We did promise to stay in touch, though.

The other girl I'm really interested in comes back in late July, so... maybe that situation will turn out better. I don't think the feelings are mutual like they seemed to be in this situation, but it's always worth a shot.

Which brings me to something I'm interested in hearing opinions about:

If I were to start a relationdateshipthing with this other girl, would I be two-timing her by keeping in contact with the girl this thread has been about, even just as friends? My roommate seems to think so, and I guess I can see his point, but I'm interested in hearing other opinions.

[United Nations]

I think once you're in a relationship with her, it would be rude to keep in contact with the other girl if you're still interested in her. I mean, I know I'd hate to date someone to find out they're talking to another girl they're interested in. It depends where your heart is. If you're talking to the other girl to keep your options open, I think it'd be wrong if you're dating the other girl. If you're talking to her just as a friend, I don't see how there's anything wrong with it. Only you will know what feels right though.

[Bomby]

So after she never received her visa to India, she's going back home to China on Monday. -_-. I should try to set up lunch with her before that but I imagine she'll probably be spending time with her closer friends and/or packing to leave. At least we're on good terms and will probably keep in touch.

Looks like I made the mistake of getting my heart set on one person sort of again. There will be others in the mean time. If not, she'll eventually be back, but I'm not going to let myself get stuck on her. That other girl I liked should be back in a few weeks anyway.

Also, I can always just watch loads of movies to keep my mind off things.

[Rubber Band Man]

So nobody read this title and instantly thought:

.....this day in age.....nobody? Screw you guys.

[Calamity Panfan]

^ I think you're thinking of "It's a rare condition"

[Rubber Band Man]

^ I think you're thinking of "It's a rare condition"

I know, that's just the first thing that came to mind.

But thank you for not making me feel waaaayyyy off course here

[Bomby]

Did I do that?