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I have recently inherited several millions of dollars from a long lost relative. My life is now forever changed, as I rise above the ranks of the common man, as I have always been destined to. I received the confirmation by e-mail just a few moments ago, and as soon as I submit my credit card and other information, you will all be nothing but a thought in the back of my head.

However, before I leave this pitiful little corner of the web, I would like to ask you plebs if you'd like anything, as I am feeling most generous. Ask and I shall judge whether or not your request is acceptable. Do not ask for cash, and do not ask to work for me. And ladies, your charms will get you nowhere, don't bother.

One request per person. Begin.

Korean, Japanese, and Arabic Rosetta Stone so I can travel the world teaching English and speaking to natives then helping ESL students here in the United States when I get back from all my RAD adventures. I'll bring you back souvenirs!

I request a Power Assist Suit from Japan that I can wear beneath my armor.

im not a lady---may i assume my charms will work on you?

[QUOTE="User Name, post: 1455005, member: 31164"]Korean, Japanese, and Arabic Rosetta Stone so I can travel the world teaching English and speaking to natives then helping ESL students here in the United States when I get back from all my RAD adventures. I'll bring you back souvenirs![/QUOTE]

I will buy you Klingon Rosetta Stone, and you will like it. Also, you will bring me those souvenirs as promised, but if I do not like them I cannot promise that I will withhold judgement, striking you down with the fury of a thousand suns. Choose carefully. Qapla'.[DOUBLEPOST=1396378248,1396378108][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Colonel KR, post: 1455013, member: 38410"]I request a Power Assist Suit from Japan that I can wear beneath my armor.[/QUOTE]

I will grant this, but only a pink one.[DOUBLEPOST=1396378447][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="ɐɥsɐʞɐʎooq, post: 1455015, member: 17381"]im not a lady---may i assume my charms will work on you?[/QUOTE]

We will speak in private concerning this matter.

Titanium arms.

I want a rhinoceros....carved out of pure gold!
It does not have to be life-size.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

All I want out of life is a giant statue of a butt playing a trumpet. The medium matters little. Can you make this happen?

I would like a Canon 5D Mark III with a 50mm Prime lens attached to it. Make this happen to complete me.

<3

MOAR CATS

...And a manor to live in with them.

A top-secret high-security vault to hide all my embarrassing possessions that I do not wish to part with.

[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE POKEMON!, post: 1455017, member: 18119"]I will grant this, but only a pink one.[/QUOTE]

Then I'll only wear it at 80s-themed parties because it was considered weirdly fashionable back then for men to wear pink.

[MEDIA=youtube]on_D7-l7GTw[/MEDIA]

WEAR IT WITH PRIDE.
Spoiler, Ross didn't get the shirt back.

The things Val wants most in the world aren't for sale.

Val wants a better world.

I want a burger.

If this is real, just get a Totoro plushie. :P

Why do they need your credit card information?

[QUOTE="Tyler, post: 1455021, member: 35829"]Titanium arms.[/QUOTE]

Granted, but they won't be attached to you.[DOUBLEPOST=1396598745,1396598672][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="CaptHayfever, post: 1455052, member: 25169"]I want a rhinoceros....carved out of pure gold!
It does not have to be life-size.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"[/QUOTE]

Granted. It will be the smallest possible creation and I'll throw it to you over a vast distance between two boats on the ocean during a storm.[DOUBLEPOST=1396598775][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="nyankat, post: 1455072, member: 37303"]All I want out of life is a giant statue of a butt playing a trumpet. The medium matters little. Can you make this happen?[/QUOTE]

I can, butt I will not.[DOUBLEPOST=1396598813][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Scarecrow, post: 1455087, member: 37446"]I would like a Canon 5D Mark III with a 50mm Prime lens attached to it. Make this happen to complete me.

<3[/QUOTE]

I'll give you a used one.[DOUBLEPOST=1396598888][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds, post: 1455117, member: 17429"]MOAR CATS

...And a manor to live in with them.[/QUOTE]

I will give you two cats to comply with your demand of multiple cats, and I will grant you a manor. BUT IT WILL BE HAUNTED WOOOOO OOOOOOOHHHHHH *rattling chains*[DOUBLEPOST=1396598969][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="King Bomby, post: 1455128, member: 17840"]A top-secret high-security vault to hide all my embarrassing possessions that I do not wish to part with.[/QUOTE]

Granted, but there will be a camera with a live feed inside, and it will broadcast all of it to the public. I will advertise it out of pocket so everyone sees it.[DOUBLEPOST=1396599020][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Colonel KR, post: 1455134, member: 38410"]Then I'll only wear it at 80s-themed parties because it was considered weirdly fashionable back then for men to wear pink.[/QUOTE]

You have to wear it everywhere, always and never wash it. Also, this isn't optional anymore. Now that I have granted your request, you will comply.

I'm good with a used one. PM you my address?

[QUOTE="Valigarmander, post: 1455157, member: 30663"]The things Val wants most in the world aren't for sale.

Val wants a better world.[/QUOTE]

A better world is certainly achievable through financial means. I will feed starving countries until I am broke to spite you, proving that what you want is for sale. Also, can I bunk with you after I'm broke from the whole "spitefully saving the world" thing?[DOUBLEPOST=1396599184,1396599152][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Loot, post: 1455168, member: 21459"]I want a burger.[/QUOTE]

A cat burger. Granted.[DOUBLEPOST=1396599328][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Sim Kid, post: 1455428, member: 22276"]If this is real, just get a Totoro plushie. :p

Why do they need your credit card information?[/QUOTE]

It is real, despite what my friends and family have told me. Also, I noticed that my account has been wiped out. I am sure that is just to make room for the mind-boggling amount they will deposit. I have not heard back from them since, so I assume they are quite busy preparing my funds.

They need my credit card and bank account information to validate the transaction for some reason.

Also, your request is granted.[DOUBLEPOST=1396599444][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Scarecrow, post: 1455573, member: 37446"]I'm good with a used one. PM you my address?[/QUOTE]

It is completely non-functioning and I just urinated on it. But yes, send me your address.

Np. I can fix it for cheaper and it's water-proof. Sending it now.