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buh, life problems
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 3:48 pm
by Random User
So I was living with my dad over the summer, and I was actually pretty damn happy for that time, but then getting into community college, the only way that would work out is if I lived with my mother again. This has kept me stressed enough, except my mother doesn't feel obliged to help me one bit now that I'm 18. In fact, I had no choice in going to college, because otherwise I would have been kicked out of the house, and I really didn't wanna be kicked out.
I don't want to continue in college now that I'm getting a taste of it. I don't even have any ultimate career goal, I just want a life where I'm stable and can be able to relax and be happy. Meaning I'd even take a minimum wage job and live a decent life in the middle of nowhere. I don't have any reason to be wasting money on college if I don't even want to get into any specific career. I'm just here because I don't want to live on the street.
I've asked almost everyone I can if we could room together or something. I do have a little money to start a new life with, about 1.5k (though its borrowed). No luck with anyone.
And now tensions in the house between me and her are just so high. Stress between school, work, and home troubles been both depressing me and keeping me angry all the time, and I hate being that way. My mom keeps trying to guilt trip me out of my money and convincing me that being in debt is fine. Obviously, this makes me start yelling and arguing, and my mom's starting to threaten to kick me out again (I have been without a home for a short period of time between school start and now).
I want a therapist, but can't afford one.
I just don't really know what to do anymore.
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 10:34 am
by Random User
So when I posted this I was pretty much at my last straw, but since then I've found a place to move to with a roommate or two, and now I have a ticket bound for Minnesota. Life's changed so much in the past week... I feel exhausted, lol.
I'm very anxious about so suddenly being thrown to independence, but I think I can make it.
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 11:14 am
by Deepfake
I'm sorry to hear about your woes, bud. Your mother sounds like she's a bit messed up, sorry to say as well, don't let her get to you. And don't disappear - if you can't get on here, we'll understand, but let us know if you're not going to have access because we care, mate. Here's hoping it all goes as smoothly as possible.
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:02 pm
by Random User
I won't disappear, though I may be a short while without internet. I leave a week from today. Thanks for the support, AI.
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2013 2:36 pm
by smol Kat
The transition from living at home to not at home is scary (I'm 23, about to move out, and I'm like omg how am I going to afford all this...but I also have way less money than you so you will probably be fine)
I'm glad to hear you've found a solution and, like AYEEYE, definitely want to hear how it's going :]
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:18 pm
by Random User
Yes I would like to let you all know that I am currently living in Minnesota now, and things are going smoothly so far. I'm not dead, so that's a good thing.
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 1:44 pm
by monstrman
Living on your own is awesome. You'll love it. Glad youre better.
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:18 pm
by O0Fox
I recently moved out and I'm living on my own, but one thing I regret is not learning how to cook... So yeah learn how to cook it's uber important!
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:49 pm
by Jere
I moved aeay from home when i was 14 sure a foster family but still away from home,at 16 i had to move in with granny due to her cataract got worse and a year later i moved 400km to start higher educational studies dont worry you will do fine just make sure to save some money so you have a disaster fund.
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:35 pm
by The Missing Link
Living by yourself has its pros and cons, but I enjoy it. Glad I have cats to keep me company though. :)
Glad you're surviving though!
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 11:21 pm
by Random User
Well, I have roommates so I'm not all by myself haha. But thank you all for the support!
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:34 am
by b l a n k
Okay, three questions:
1. What reasonable person would think that living in debt is a good thing?
2. Has your mom not seen the U.S. National Debt Clock?
3. Are you sure she’s not the one who needs a therapist instead of you?
Listen, man. Living independently of your parents sounds scary at first, but if you can survive, look on the bright side: that proves you don’t have to put up with your mom anymore. You're free to write your own life story. You can make your own decisions about life. It's your turn to be the man of the house.
As far as college goes, if what you love doing can't be found in college, don't bother going there. There are plenty of people out there who make good money despite not having gone to college. That said, you might consider going to trade school if you're interested in learning a particular trade without four years' worth of formal education.
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:55 am
by Red
Good to hear things are looking up for you.
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:57 am
by The Missing Link
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:40 am
by Apiary Tazy
Yeah, let me tell you from experience. You'll never be prepared enough to handle living on your own. However, that's why you need to take each problem as it comes ahead. If all you want is a good standard of living, than think about how you'll achieve this. If you're in college, you can look for a part-time job that can work around your schedule and pays enough to help pay your share.
When you get the time, go over what everyone needs to pay and then determine how much your share is each month (I assume your paying a part of the bills.) Then keep that in your head and determine what you need to do to keep your savings intact. Ultimately, just figure out what you want and go from there. Set your own limits!
Also, for cooking... The internet (and Foodwishes) is your frieeeeeeeend.
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 11:45 pm
by smol Kat
All these dudes have excellent advice.
And yeah, about the cooking...it's not too late! I think the best way to learn that is through necessity. I know i cook a hell of a lot more when I'm staying with Mike than I do when I'm at home.
Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:01 am
by Random User
I burnt my taco trying to reheat it.
But I shall persevere!
Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 5:18 am
by Apollo the Just
Yo this is belated but--
my roommate made the decision last week to take a break from school and just work. She's in a really similar situation with her family so it's financial independence for her now too. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this other than maybe to say yo you ain't alone
I'm glad you have some money and you found roommates, because it means that even though you've got a huge change in your life it means you've got buds to split the bills and who can maybe cook food for you sometimes when your tacos are too burnt. (Also, I never cooked before this year but I am learning because the cheapest ingredients require being put together. You too can learn I have faith in you just google recipes lol)
Good luck with everything dude!
Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:10 am
by Random User
Thanks, CL! And also thanks everyone! Things have been going smoothly, except one of my friend's parents brought a bunch of furniture for us, which had cat hair all over it, and just yesterday I discovered I'm allergic. Not a fun experience. x-x
But her cat came yesterday, too, and she's short-haired so she doesn't bother my allergies, and she's a cutie. :3c
Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2013 9:17 pm
by Scarecrow
Now we can change the title too "Ahh, life is working out now" ^_^