I wonder if age really does matter if they are in love?

[Jesus]

I was just reflecting today and it came to my mind that there are a lot of couples out there that have some age gaps between them. I remember hearing that my parents married 12 years apart. I even see some who are 21 going out with 16 year olds and they look as happy as can be. I think that with love it's not something you expect or can understand. You can definitely feel it, however. It comes without warning or surprise. I've even seen some relationships that they've had to keep hidden because of this reason. They were both young but there was an age gap there. I'm not talking about the pedophiles who are like 30-something and going out with high schoolers either.

This brings me to an issue with society. I see that society wants us to like those that are close to our age. Yet at the same time we are being taught that age doesn't matter after a certain point. If two people genuinely love each other and can make it work why the heck not right? In my honest opinion if you are in that situation you shouldn't have to hide those feelings from those you like or have an attraction toward. It's kinda cute when you think about it. Personally I'm not in a relationship like this nor do I have a mutual crush on a girl who is younger than me but I was just thinking, if they're safe and genuinely like each other (as in not looking for sex) then why not? How can we tell someone that we like and say "Sorry, I really like you but you are more than 4 years younger than me"? What is everyone's opinions on this? You've heard mine.

This was a long long long meditation on something I just happened to think on today. No idea why it came to me either.


I still have an issue with the pedophiles though. They have a mental illness that they can't help. These people are suffering from a real psychiatric disorder. I repeat, this is not what I am talking about.

[CaptHayfever]

Those close to our own age within a reasonable range, which understandably widens as we grow older as a greater range of ages have shared enough life experiences to be on equitable terms of maturity.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[I am nobody]

Obligatory

[Jesus]

Kinda cool to see some consensus on this.

[glux]

I don't see an issue past a certain age.
21 & 16? I have a hard time approving that. No matter which gender is which age.

Hell if I really think about it, 18 & 23 would still be a stretch for me. I'd be more acceptable with 19 & 24. Not much more, but...
I guess it all just how you look at it personally...

[LOOT]

yeah 16 and 21 is pedophilia

[Jesus]

^That's my question though. Why is it viewed like that?

^^They are all in a five year age difference if you are looking at those ages. Why do we have the mindsets about this? Why is society and our minds telling us this? I don't understand it.

[glux]

^^They are all in a five year age difference if you are looking at those ages.

Yes. I did that on purpose.

Why do we have the mindsets about this? Why is society and our minds telling us this? I don't understand it.

Because science.

[smol Kat]

The reason it seems to matter less at a certain point is that the 16-year-old and the 21-year-old are in two very different life stages (usually). Once you're 32 and 37, you're kind of in the same stage.

My parents are 8 1/2 years apart, and got married when my mom was 22 and my dad was 31. The relationship failed, but age had little if anything to do with it. (read: my dad is probably the most unreliable person I have ever had to deal with ever)

[Bomby]

16 and 21 is a bit of a stretch. Like nyankat pointed out, it's two different stages of life. On the other hand, people mature at different rates. Sometimes 16 can look 19 or 20. I don't think it's really cause for panic if a 21 year old is attracted to a 16 year old who matured more quickly than others.

Dave Chappelle's thoughts on the matter. (contains explicit language)

yeah 16 and 21 is pedophilia

Technically it would be considered ephebophilia but it's all the same in the eyes of the law.

[1-up Salesman]

I am the law.

[Jesus]

I suppose it would make more sense in the age going along with your stage in life. Different stages of life. Makes more sense in that perspective. You need to have the maturity too if you are doing something like that. Age/2+7 to be accurate as that comic says. Didn't think of it that way.

[1-up Salesman]

But, using the Age/2+7 rule, wouldn't that make it creepy for a sixteen year-old to date a fifteen year-old?

[Kil'jaeden]

Oddly enough, marrying at an age gap (typically an older male) was the norm for a long time, still is in many cases now. I have no idea why everyone thinks that now if you are 2 years apart, there is something odd. As for love, that is irrelevent, I have yet to see anyone take that as a serious reason for anything. It is all about money, if they talk a lot about love, you can make a safe bet it is going to go badly when they have to deal with some problems that come up. People talk about love a lot, but very few actually care about it when it comes to other people. If a 40 year old married a 20 year old, there would be objections, and even after they got married all the neighbors and aquaintences would whisper about it. Even more riculous is how it is treated if one is 17 and the other is 18. For some reason, turning 18 magically reconfigures a person, in just one day at that. I dated someone that was a bit over 18 when I was 16(I turned 17 in the following months). No one really objected because I am male(meaning I am not vulnerable and in need of protection). But you can bet if it were reversed, there would have been a problem. Hell, people used to have families of their own by 18. Apparently they managed in the past, somehow. Maybe people just matured faster or something.

[The Missing Link]

So weird story. In days of yore, it was much more prominent for much more mismatched ages to get married (though not necessarily fall in love). The average age of marriage was a lot younger, but even so, older somethings would oft marry a younger lass around 14 in order to produce future progeny. And there's something of a biological reason for it too because (a) younger women were in their prime and (b) the life expectancy wasn't high in that part of the world. Also (c) the world was very male-dominated, and families wanted to marry off their daughters as best they can. In fact, I just read a story about a mathematician in the UK who sponsored a savant mathematician in India who, when 21, married his wife who was 10 at the time. It seems very much that that was the norm for a good part of history in many cultures.

And to some degree, now we have new laws--based upon psychology and morality--designed to fight the biological instinct that essentially ran the human race for many centuries.

The whole 21/16 definitely sounds sketch to me... but I also know that there are very mature 16 year olds out there (certainly more mature than I was), and I think that there are some semi-rare cases that could work. By and large, I think most kids, especially in today's culture with Generation Y (for lack of a better term--thanks, Obama) don't really know what they want until 25 at the very least. I've heard all too often that 30 is the new 20 because so many people aren't really getting married until later... and even then a lot end up splitting and doing it again all over.

I do think love can no know age, but I think it takes two extremely wise people (which is certainly uncommon) to really stand in defiance of the societal norm.

[Jesus]

But, using the Age/2+7 rule, wouldn't that make it creepy for a sixteen year-old to date a fifteen year-old?

Yeah. That's where the rule gets thrown out of the window. Love is love and if two people are mature enough to handle it let them be I say.

[The Missing Link]

But, using the Age/2+7 rule, wouldn't that make it creepy for a sixteen year-old to date a fifteen year-old?

No. 16 / 2 = 8 + 7 = 15. This means 15 is your lowest age you can date. So it's legit.

16 year olds can't date 14 year olds by the rule mind.

The awesome part about the rule? It means people under 14 shouldn't date. A relief to fathers everywhere.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Age shouldn't matter, unless you're trying to get with preteens, but society dictates everything. Oh well.

[b l a n k]

I agree with you, Katty and TML. Maybe it's just a state of mind, not an age number, that should matter...unless the age gap is too large or unless it's two different generations (e.g., Hugh Hefner marrying a 20-something).

[1-up Salesman]

No. 16 / 2 = 8 + 7 = 15. This means 15 is your lowest age you can date. So it's legit.

16 year olds can't date 14 year olds by the rule mind.

The awesome part about the rule? It means people under 14 shouldn't date. A relief to fathers everywhere.

Oh, I see. I guess I just didn't pay enough attention, seeing as I thought whatever age you got at end of the "equation" was that which you could not date.