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((dunno why im posting, just felt like i should vent : o))

So, alot of people tend to think I'm a super giddy happy go lucky derp who just loves life and is always darn happy x3. Which i am.
But i also have my .. well.
I have two sides of me :3.
My good side o: which is the side i show to everyone :3
and My bad side! which i show to .. everyone but not that much?
My bad side is like..
Well im emotionally unstable, I can never decide, i panic, worry for the worst, my mind is constantly thinking and making up stories and things that COULD happen that are very bad, I am uber depressed and easily irritated, like, someone makes one tiny comment and im severely phased by it. also like. with any emotion im just very sensitive to any emotion o-o i can be uber super happy one second and literally the next after one tiny emote or word, i can be depressed or pissed off o:

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and i know im a teenager, im a lady, i have hormones blah blah but like.
These are like o.0 like... UBER BAD
and i feel bad because i am such a hypocrite, a selfish being, i am rude and severely harsh and cruel. I'm just not good when it comes to my bad side xD

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But then my good side, is what always gets everyone to be like "oh my god your voice is so cute, youre so adorable and derpy:'D youre so sweet !" and im like. if only you could see my bad side.. eu e"

So i had just recently told my medicine doctor.. i forget which big word it is to call them since theres like therapist, psychiatrist, counseler, etc. So i told her my feelings i had from my most recent breakdown i had and she was all worried saying i should prolly be going to a therapist daily/weekly and im like x'3 oh gosh

thatd be great for me, if i wasnt such a stubborn little fishy. I am so stubborn and i hate it, i want help but i just get irritated and push it away whenever people try to help! D:. I just.. guh, thats another thing that just irritates the shizz outta me, yknow? :C

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Oh! And i forgot to state, i cringe at the very thought of cutting, and suicide, i could never do it. and i would never. Even if i broke, I would never want to do that to people/myself.
I love life even with all the problems ive got and such, I'm happy im living and shizz, i just get my depressed moods and i get irritated at myself that im like how i am, I wish it was easier to change things about yourself than it really is x3

Ahm.. So yeahm, im not all suicidey, Alot of people in my family are, especially the women but i could never be like them and if i do end up that depressed, i sure hope to goodness i dont resort to cutting or anything stupid D:!

Aww, I know what the worrying is like. I'm constantly worrying about one thing or another. It's really hard! I worry about things that don't matter every day. My solution was to find a family member or a friend that was completely chill. I just surrounded myself with those kind of people so I could learn from them. That way, if I ever start freaking out (which I do) I have someone to tell me how silly I'm being. It's a big help! Another thing to do is to breathe deep calming breaths from the nose. It really helps too if you can remember.

I don't know if this is what you mean, but I get super critical of people after I know them for a while. Everything they say started to grate on me. I have to sit down in my mind (I actually picture myself sitting down in my mind haha) and think of all the great qualities about that person that led me to befriend them in the first place. It really helps me not be too critical of people and not be annoyed by them.

I know this is only a couple pieces of your puzzle, but I hope they help! :)

Just find effective ways to destress (I like baths and herbal tea). Don't let yourself get too burned out, that'll make everything worse.

Thanks, all :3
That really helped ;u;. and yeh the critical thing is what i do.. >o <"

I also wanna add, I do the story thing too, but I've always self-managed with whatever it is by forcing myself to think about something else. Make up a completely unrelated story.

I've had that feeling at times. To state the obvious, it's hard.

Do you have any hobbies? I'm assuming you enjoy fiction immensely, considering that you're on a video game forum.

I try to give myself things to look forward to doing, such as my hobbies. It helps take the focus of whatever else is on my mind and makes things a bit simpler.

Ahh, i draw and game x u x.
but i dont know, i can never seem to get my mind to shuttup x3 not even when im about to sleep im constantly thinking its like. gosh dangit mind D: shhh
and.. owo. yeah. but maybe :3. that could work > u< thanks :'3

I'd especially recommend drawing, I've really enjoyed what I've seen of your work thus far.

Well thank you ;u;. and yeah i wanna draw so much i have so many ideas but then.. guh i hate it but i am so lazy ; -; i draw and draw til i get done with lining then i just quit because i hate to color. and sometimes i just sketch and get bored before even lining. but mehh. x u x thank you again :3

Try to save coloring for another day if you have to, lining/proportioning takes too much bloody effort. When you get that awful feeling that you just want it to be done, it's time to give it a rest and do something else you like as a reward for your work and just for a break.

The hard part of being younger and having these feelings is mostly just that you're not used to them, you don't have the personal experience to decide that you're being impetuous. So impetuosity is hard to curb, because you don't really recognise it and you're not certain of the outcome of actions or the directions of your thoughts.

It's always difficult to accept that other people go through many of these thoughts and feelings because we don't have a party line into their heads. When you're at that age, you may find that the peers who surround you are very reserved about their true personal feelings in part because they are unsure about them, but you can't quite put your finger on it as they are all unsure and attempting to be a bit dishonest about it.

Losing face or messing up, being disappointed doesn't have to be traumatic or the end of the world, though. Like UN said, it's really about staying grounded - you have to understand that there's no permanence to your life. Admitting that you did wrong or could do better shouldn't be such a loss, but kids and young adults are really abusive to those who make mistakes, in part because they lack the fidelity and skill necessary to communicate honestly and confidently with one another.


I get a lot of mood swings if I haven't eaten well or slept enough, btw. Sucks, but I'm glad to know the source of it.