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Life sucks, I'm depressed all the time, people hurt me, I barely notice anymore though, due to the ever growing emotional gashes I endure.

gfs gone, again. BAsically figured that was solidified tonight.

Cant get a job.
Family is too preoccupied, cant afford to go 30 minutes from here to take my
GED test. Will most likely lose my scholarship money I worked fairly hard for for it.

I think about death alot lately, mostly my own. I don't know what that means, I just do.

I play alot more games lately, and read alot of books, and wtch alot of movies. Mostly I think I'm just trying to escape reality.

When I think about life I get depressed again though. Like I think about my gf.. er ex gf, or the job thing, or the friends(lack there of) or the fact that theres nowhere to go and nothing to do and no internet to talk to anybody with or really anything and it just feels like the moment when a glass hits the floor. Lots of cracks and a crash and alot of soreness from the glass cutting you.

I do alot more working out and stuff around the house.
Anything to make me feel a bit less worthless, though it doesn't really help or work...since I seem to handle every situation incorrectly or do everything wrong.

I don't care for self pity or others' pity, I'm just venting, Ive never been good at this.

I'm very... disconnected lately.

I have one friend I hang out with on occasion, and a couple who talk to me, but really, I just feel alone and generally like I don't belong... Like ANYWHERE. or with anyone for that matter.
Like I'm just doomed to be alone for all of eternity.
I feel like I'm going crazy a little bit. *shrug* I'm still sane, but I seem to maintain a healthy amount of insanity.
I try to laugh when I can, and be an optimist. I want to be a ray of light for folks, and sometimes succed, but really on the inside I'm just broken. and it all feels kinda pointless now.

^ I can relate quite well, and I'll pray for you. Hit me up if you wanna talk. Good luck.

You're a good guy, Vgfian. You'll be able to pull through anything.

Concur with IRHP. You'll be in my prayers, and my PM box is open to you should you ever need it.

If it is a 30 minute drive to the testing center, then if it really gets desperate, you can walk. Just leave well ahead of the time you need to be there. You will eventually get there, and if it accomplishes just that, you have made progress. It will also show your family just how serious you are about it if they care to notice. Either way, you have your test. I presume that the GED is tied to your scholarship problem. If it is that important, you should not let anyone get in the way. You will feel better with one less problem.

I would also advise you to get used to being alone. You can't trust in friends or anyone else in the end.