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I'm not looking for advice here. Just wanna say I don't have any friends in real life. The ones in high school/college all dropped me or I dropped them because we didn't have anything in common. So I spent most of my free time alone now. Sometimes I feel like I can't communicate with people because of my introversion. I can't think of anything to say. Small talk is awful, unless it's about stuff I really like. I don't like people intruding my privacy, as to speak.

Being alone is awesome at times because nobody's bothering you.

It's just the feeling of loneliness and people not understanding you that sucks sometimes.

Maybe I should see a therapist.

Soft, you just sound like an introvert, you don't sound antisocial. In my case a lot of my friends are work or class related because that's all I ever do, haha. But yea- most introverts don't like small talk (much).

My work place is small and the majority are older than me. So it's hard to make friends there.

I think most people are boring. I might be boring to them. So we're all good.

I can sorta relate.
I've always been introverted and I'm currently a lot more isolated than I'd care to be.
Forcing small talk can be outright painful.
Still, I've discovered that I really tend to like other people. I find them fasinating. Their views, their interests, everything that makes them an individual.
You can probably guess this causes some strange internal conflicts. I really don't mind being alone 95% of the time, but having good friends? That's something I could use more of.

The weird thing about growing up in the days before the Internet (GASP! THERE WAS SUCH A THING? I KNOW RITE?) was that your circle of friends was strictly limited to a subset of people that had geographical proximity to you. Nowadays, after people have congregated online to the many Internets this world has to offer, friendships can be made through common interests and like mindsets. This wasn't such a guarantee back in the old days, and it was certainly harder to find them, but nonetheless we all cliqued together in high school around vague common causes like cheerleading, marching band, football, or whatever extracurricular club you happened to enjoy.

Looking back, I've only really kept a handful of friends from both high school and uni, and while each of those still do have some amount of common interest involved, none of them were quite the best matching of interests; we all adopted each other's hobbies at a very cursory level so that we'd have things to talk about.

What I'm trying to say, generally, is that friends do come and go, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. I don't think you should feel bad that a lot of your friends have left for this reason or that.

And similar to you, I have a streak of introversion in me. There are times I just want to sit by myself, doing whatever hobby strikes my fancy (videogames, writing, going out in nature, or whatever) without the interruption of others. That too is very healthy, and if that's where you draw your energy from, that's totally spectacular!

Having people that you love and trust, however, I'd still say is somewhat important. Even if it's an online friendship or an in-the-flesh one, we all are messed up in some minor and major ways, and it's in times when we're trying to rationalize those flaws and cope with them that it seriously helps to know that we're not alone, that other people suffer from the same stuff, and to be encouraged. And similarly, there's something euphoric, at least for me, whenever a friend comes to me (of all people) to discuss something that's deep on his or her mind and just wants me to listen and sympathize. I fully believe that, it's because of those moments, that we're meant to be together in some capacity.

It's not saying that you need to be an extrovert and have thousands of friends; even extroverts can be hyper-lonely because none of their "friends" are people they honestly trust.

I keep saying this line over and over because it honestly sticks with me and has helped me: "Vulnerability is the path to intimacy." In order to have someone deeply care for you, you have to be someone, to him or her, that needs to be deeply cared for.

I feel like I've just random dabbled a whole bunch of disparate thoughts down in this text box, and I have no idea if any of them really are answering the question you've got. But hopefully, something will click. :3 If there's anything I can do for ya, you know how to find me.

I don't like people, and people don't like me. I think we're social creatures by nature, though. This makes things tricky, but the internet helps me get a bit of controlled human interaction.

softguitar wrote:I'm not looking for advice here. Just wanna say I don't have any friends in real life. The ones in high school/college all dropped me or I dropped them because we didn't have anything in common. So I spent most of my free time alone now. Sometimes I feel like I can't communicate with people because of my introversion. I can't think of anything to say. Small talk is awful, unless it's about stuff I really like. I don't like people intruding my privacy, as to speak.

Being alone is awesome at times because nobody's bothering you.

It's just the feeling of loneliness and people not understanding you that sucks sometimes.

Maybe I should see a therapist.

Most people are boring, I don't think that's entirely unfair. It's also hard to find a person in this day and age that won't judge you based on a few stray moments or their own preconceptions. So I can sympathize there. The guys that I do know locally who are into the same stuff I am are generally too into themselves to pay much attention to anything else. My projects and interests are the center of my life, so I can relate to them in that sense, but I see most people tredding water and don't understand it.

Usually I just think I need to change habits in some way. If you go out to do fun things like laser tag or rock climbing or anything similar at all, it's a better environment to meet people. Otherwise you're kind of intruding on day to day business, it seems.

There weren't any clubs in my high school or even college. I think I have had two or three friends throughout those years. The internet wasn't even that popular then.

I listen to people whenever I want to. Now and then they tell interesting stories but I wander off in my thoughts after a while.

To be honest, I am a very lazy person and I don't go out that often. Laser tag is not something you can do alone, so you already need a friend to do that. Just sayin'...
Meeting people is not a problem. It's the interacting with people that seems to bother me most. Is it just me or are we living in an extrovert world?

I'd say there's a pretty good chance that we are. After all, making a world most likely requires social activity of some sort, so the tables are automatically skewed in thier favor.
Doesn't mean we can't carve out a little niche for ourselves though.

are you me

I've seen three therapists in my life; none of them really helped.

There's no doubt that we live in an extroverted world. Introverts are unfairly biased against, which is something that I absolutely can't stand. For some reason, people today have this idea that you can only get anywhere if you have people skills, so they cater exclusively to those who do. They choose to ignore the benefits of having an introverted worker, of which there are many.

On the other hand, people who are unfair to introverts really aren't people that are worth getting to know in the first place, because they are jerks. There are still a lot of opportunities no matter who you are or what your personality is. I wouldn't be discouraged or worried too much if you are introverted, because you're still cool!

My fiancee read a book recently that she really enjoyed, and I think it helped her figure some stuff out about the world and about herself. It's called Quiet by Susan Cain, and it's all about how an introvert can make their way in an extrovert world without having to change him/herself. Even if you are comfortable with yourself as an introvert already, it's still a solid read.

This is beginning to happen to me now that I'm almost out of high school. My circle of friends outside of the internet is dwindling at about five, and those are all people I've known for years. I prefer online friends, because chatting isn't the same as socialising in real life. It doesn't feel as draining to me.

Tunnel Snakes RULE! wrote:Most people are boring

I'm going to take a radical stance and disagree with this.

On the surface, when you first meet them? Yes, most people will seem boring, but time and time again, my own personal experiences have shown me that most people are actually at least somewhat interesting when you really get to know them. Even if you have no common ground with another person in terms of interests, it's possible to form a connection with them.

The Missing Link wrote:It's not saying that you need to be an extrovert and have thousands of friends; even extroverts can be hyper-lonely because none of their "friends" are people they honestly trust.

I just want to quote this because as a mid-to-strong extrovert, I absolutely agree with this statement 100%. I go out a lot, and I do find it easy to make small talk with people I don't know, but I don't consider very many people my like, FRIENDS friends.

Antisocial wrote:I've seen three therapists in my life; none of them really helped.

are you ME?? :O

nyankat wrote:I don't consider very many people my like, FRIENDS friends.

^^ THIIIIS.

Oh, and I don't have a single friend who lives close by or whom I haven't met through the internet. I have none. NADA.

Which is fine, if you're comfortable with that!

I am not ashamed not to say I have less than 100 friends on Facebook

AND I COULD HAVE THEM IF I WANTED

^Have, or halve?

^Halve, or Halven't?

herp or derp