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The past few days seem like a blur. I can't tell them apart. Maybe I need some sort of activity to keep my mind blank.

Anyway, bouts of depression after energetic periods are normal for me. They come fairly regularly. I just don't know how to shake it off really. It sorta creeps back, especially in the early morning hours when I can't sleep. I wasn't sleeping well for a while, and I have night owl tendencies anyway. It's like a creeping paranoia or just plain dread. It feels like I can't really say anything about it to anyone. I keep everything to myself. I don't think I am at all a trusting person. More like nervous and paranoid, though I am outwardly calm. It doesn't take much to set it off either. I just wait it out.

I think maybe the fact that I have very few friends might have a bit to do with it. Most of the ones I had I never see, and I doubt I'll be seeing most of them again anyway. When some did come for a visit (first in over a year), they never even tried to inform me, they told everyone else instead. It would have been no extra effort to tell me about it beforehand. I get the feeling no one wants to see me very much. I really only have immediate family to talk to, and that's about it. But I don't like to concern them with things too much, and I prefer to keep things to myself. Their response would most likely be negative anyway. Still, it's good I have them. If I lived alone, I would most likely become a reclusive shut in. I want to interact with people sometimes, but I just am not very good at it. And sometimes I want to avoid all people.

Kil'jaeden wrote:Anyway, bouts of depression after energetic periods are normal for me.

How long are said energetic periods? Depending on the length and severity of either the energy or depression it could be some form of bipolar disorder or cyclothymia.

I know that motivating yourself can be difficult at times like this, but I really strongly recommend seeing a doctor who can help diagnose the reason you're feeling these things. You can find ways to manage these feelings, either through behaviour modification, therapy, or if it's suitable, medication. You don't have to be stuck with depression.

Things that contribute to my occasional depression are poor nutrition, caffeine dependency, and lack of sleep. If you're a caffeine lover like I am, you're pretty miserable when you cut it out of your diet, but you can sleep more consistently after a week off it, and your appetite increases. If you're big on soda or coffee, I'd suggest cutting it out of your diet for 2-4 weeks and trying to get your sleep and eating habits back to normal. Caffeine makes you much more receptive to stress on top of the rest of that, as well. Great stuff for when you need to buckle down a focus on something mental, but terrible to have a habit with it.

Definitely see a doctor; mood swings aren't all always mental. Your body can only work with what it's got, and a physician might be able to help you set it all in order.

I've noticed this creep up on me more and more recently in the last few years, but I'm pretty sure its more circumstancial depression rather than being clinical depression. Nonetheless, it isn't any fun at all, and it really is a whole lot worse than it sounds.

Haha, I remember when I would scoff at the idea of depression, and other issues. Karma sure loves to rip your face off.

As others mentioned, I would see a doctor. Usually, swings in mood such as the ones you've described could be, as Bomby described, indicative of bipolar or other illness. Thankfully, there are several medications and other remedies that can help even out your moods.

I hope you feel better soon! Know that we are here for you.

EDIT: you know, IRHP, circumstantial depression can still be something that you can speak to someone about - it's not 'lesser' just because it happens under some circumstances, and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable trying to talk to a professional about it. It can affect everyone, and everyone reacts differently to it - that's entirely okay, and nothing to be ashamed about.

I don't think I have anything serious. I can think of people worse than I am about this. This sort of disposition seems to run in the family, though only my mom takes medication. Ranting always improves my mood, so this was a good place to post..

Depression doesn't have to be serious, or require medication, for you to still have someone help you through it. Some families do have depressive qualities show up through each generation, but you can make improvements even for minor depression.

There are definitely depressive qualities in my family. My sister is also something like this, except she tends to go into an outright panic with hyperventilation, sometimes without any apparent reason. My mom is the same way, so she takes medication, but my sister never did want to take anything. I just zone out and get trapped in a big mess of negativity, but I don't go into panic mode, so I can still respond to people and keep hold of reason. Even my dad is moody, but he never seemed depressed, more like able to get really angry and then douse it quickly. The more I think on it, I am not very different from my parents, no matter what I want. I was always told I'd start seeing similarities like that, so it really does not surprise me.

After a few days I feel better than I did. I have energy back, and the will do do stuff.

ZeldaGirl wrote:You know, IRHP, circumstantial depression can still be something that you can speak to someone about - it's not 'lesser' just because it happens under some circumstances, and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable trying to talk to a professional about it. It can affect everyone, and everyone reacts differently to it - that's entirely okay, and nothing to be ashamed about.

Well, I'm just not a "feelings" kind of person, y'know? Besides, even if it would make me feel somewhat better, it wouldn't solve the problems causing the depression so it seems like a waste of time anyway. Thanks for the kind words though.