Never been on a date.

[Calamity Panfan]

John Freeman was late so he had to drive REALLY FAST

before you can pass on your family name, you need to be able to live up to your family name and face FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

^There's a lot you're misunderstanding behind the tradition of a woman changing her surname.


And there are plenty of women who want to carry on their family name, too. Again, it goes back to point number one...

There surely is ignorance on my part, but it doesn't make my main point less true. I never met many men uninterested in carrying on their family name, though surely not all women want to lose theirs. Like SD said, it's a decision that should be made by the couple. But wanting to pass your name on is a legitimate reason to get into a relationship, IMO.

[X-3]

It sounds like it would have been legitimate years ago, but I can't really imagine it being that big of a deal nowadays. Maybe it's a bigger deal than I thought. I don't think that's truly what's troubling VGA, either way.

[Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds]

Let me pass your own question back to you, IRHP:

Why?

[Wicked Witch of the Crest]

There surely is ignorance on my part, but it doesn't make my main point less true. I never met many men uninterested in carrying on their family name, though surely not all women want to lose theirs. Like SD said, it's a decision that should be made by the couple. But wanting to pass your name on is a legitimate reason to get into a relationship, IMO.

I'll explain to you the problem with this; What you're saying, is that you want to get into a relationship only for the full purpose of impregmanting a woman. No other reason.

And fyi, this is no strawman; That's exactly the point of passing on the family name. That's pretty much what it is.

So don't be surprised if people got a problem with that idea.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

^^ It's an individual issue, some care and others don't. It's probably just a minute way to feel like you've made a mark on the world. It's the only reason I'd consider trying to make a family, pretty much, so it matters to me. Pesonally, I know my dad wanted grandkids, so I'd be doing it for him too.

^ I did not ever say that, until now. You just wanted to put words in my mouth, as usual, but this time you happened to be right. And IDC if people have a problem with me, I don't live for others. I feel there's no problem. After all, I am not talking about forced marriage here or anything, just a man's desire to pass on the family name, a common desire.

[Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds]

Well, wow... I don't think I could ever take the complexities of having a relationship and the responsibility of bringing a child into the world and put it into the tiny little box of "now something shares the same string of letters as I had in life". A name means nothing without action to back it up, otherwise we would all think wonderous things of other people because they're carrying their family name. I'm not saying this as a dig at you, man, but hell. What happens next? "I remember Corbin Iriye as a man who made sure there were baby Iriye's in this world. Top bloke. Same can be said for his eldest, heard they're expecting the next generation of Iriye's." o___o

(apologies for not being able to think of any name to use in this example aside from the mercenary in my current WIP)

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

^ Well, that's just the box for me, I don't mind it. Others can do as they wish, with bigger or smaller ones. Sure beats the hell out of just having kids as a side effect of carnal pleasure and instinct; not being brought into the world for any purpose is worse than being brought in the hopes that you'll be the one to do great things for the Iriye name, I'd say. Trivial, probably, but I like the quaint notion.

I do see your point, though, especially in this day and age, with modern culture.

[VG_Addict]

I'm starting to think I've been horribly misinformed about relationships.

[Deepfake]

I'm starting to think I've been horribly misinformed about relationships.

What? No. Look, it's just like I told you. We've got to pool our resources and take down a mammoth or two, and then we live like kings. You feed the tribe, you get the women.

[I am nobody]

I don't think there's a problem with wanting a relationship for the sole purpose of having kids. It's not like you're going to know what else you want without any experience or anyone specific in mind. There's something wrong with continuing a relationship for that alone, yeah, but as far as reasons for wanting a relationship with just someone in general go, it's no more self-centered than any other reason you could have.

[VG_Addict]

Just to clarify, I did NOT mean the "carry on family name" in a sexist way. I meant I want to have children, so my family doesn't die out.

[Softguitar]

Suppose your daughter gets married. You don't have a son. Maybe she will retain her family name, maybe she won't. So how does that work out?

[VG_Addict]

Suppose your daughter gets married. You don't have a son. Maybe she will retain her family name, maybe she won't. So how does that work out?

Of course, I'd be happy for my daughter.

[smol Kat]

If you've got a sister, or even just cousins, and they have kids, at least some of your family's genes will get passed on.

As for me personally, the main reason I would want to change my name is so I can drop my first name .-.

[VG_Addict]

It sounds like it would have been legitimate years ago, but I can't really imagine it being that big of a deal nowadays. Maybe it's a bigger deal than I thought. I don't think that's truly what's troubling VGA, either way.

What do you mean?

[Kil'jaeden]

Become a sperm donor. Then you can have many descendants. No need for the dating.

[Bomby]

I think I would actually encourage my wife to keep her last name if I were to ever get married. Maybe it's just me...?

[smol Kat]

Become a sperm donor. Then you can have many descendants. No need for the dating.

You, sir, are the greatest genius to ever post on these forums.

re: Bomby- Nah. A lot of people go the hyphenated route, I kinda like it but I don't want a hyphen in my name

my name is not la-a okay

[heh]

Hot tip 2 get you the laydeez: GO GET COUNSELING FOR DEPRESSION AND POSSIBLY ANXIETY YOU AREN'T HELPING YOURSELF WALLOWING IN MISERY AND IGNORING GOOD ADVICE