Knowing you have a friend who needs help, yet you can't help them?

[Jesus]

I'm sure many of us have been in a situation where we know our friend is in a struggle or a lot of pain and we can't do anything but watch from a distance because we simply don't have the ability to help them whether it be a friend in an abusive relationship or someone in the hospital or even someone who is struggling financially. I've encountered this feeling several times. Sometimes I know what I should do to help....yet I know if I did it may hurt my friendship with them tremendously or even hurt them in the process some other way. Anyone else encountered this feeling before? It's a sucky part of life.

[1-up Salesman]

Absolutely, it's awful. I feel anxious and useless.

All you can do is be there for them. Offer to help them in anyway you can and just know that you're doing what you can.

[Jesus]

It hurts even more when it's someone you love and have been close with for a long time. I'll tell my recent story now I guess. It was someone that I had gotten close with. It was obvious we both liked eachother and loved eachother a lot. We never told eachother how we felt but it was obvious. I held back because she was just out of an abusive relationship and she told me that the guy had tried to hurt her...badly. She still has nightmares about it and can't bring herself to get back into a relationship. She really wanted to be with me she said to her friends....but this mental block didn't let her. I was devastated but know that when I go back up there that I'll prove to her that I'm different and that I can replace those bad memories she has with better ones. The fact I was able to pick up on this should've been a hint to her yet she doesn't realize it. Beautiful girl too who doesn't have an inkling of self confidence. I can't do anything right now because of where I just moved to for school but I know that I'll be able to change her mind once the time comes. I had gone through a hell of a lot of abuse myself from other sources so I know what it's like.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I think if you have a way to help someone who really needs it then it should be an automatic response. You know who your real friends are when you're on hard times.

[Apollo the Just]

^^ My only advice to you is to not force yourself on her. She has suffered an abusive relationship, so the absolute last thing she wants or needs [and the thing that will make her feel the least safe] is someone trying to take control out of her hands.

If she is interested in you, allow her to approach you when and only when she feels comfortable. If the time never comes, accept that and allow her the freedom and control to make her own decisions on the matter. That is the absolute best thing that you can do as a friend to support someone who has been abused and is hurting.

[Jesus]

^^ My only advice to you is to not force yourself on her. She has suffered an abusive relationship, so the absolute last thing she wants or needs [and the thing that will make her feel the least safe] is someone trying to take control out of her hands.

If she is interested in you, allow her to approach you when and only when she feels comfortable. If the time never comes, accept that and allow her the freedom and control to make her own decisions on the matter. That is the absolute best thing that you can do as a friend to support someone who has been abused and is hurting.

Oh definitely. I'm probably just gonna offer her some support and make her know that she has someone else to talk to. It's a known thing between us but it's not gonna happen because of that mental block she has. I'm just gonna try to work with her on it when she's ready.