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Making this topic b/c the Artemis Fowl movie drops tomorrow and despite all of my better judgement I'm going to see it.

It's premiering on Disney+ because movie theaters aren't a thing right now lol... any of you catch an online "release" recently? It's weird. Different for sure. A friend and I are gonna like, call and stream it simultaneously. Guess I should make microwave popcorn too while I'm at it lmao

What a weird time. Anyway. At least I don't have to pay full theater price if the movie is ass..... will be interesting to see how the movie theater landscape looks after all this. I don't see it NOT changing.

I haven't yet, but this is good to know about... especially once I set up my free year of Disney+

Hamilton comes out July 3 on Disney+ and I'm stoked.

^ Oh, seriously? That's awesome.

I had been boycotting Disney+ on principle but I'm a shallow **** and if that's the only way I can watch this train wreck of an adaptation then by Jove I'll do it. It IS pretty neat that it's providing a platform for films etc. to release when theaters are not sustainable, so I'll at least partially dismount this high horse for now. I guess.

....plus my mom has a login already.

I haven't yet bought any movies that premiered on home video. Most of them are charging $20 for a two night rental and that's just too steep for me personally.

I did watch Onward when it hit Disney+; that feels like a video premiere basically since its theatrical run was cut short by coronavirus.

I'm looking forward to the visceral shredding of that Artemis Fowl movie that is sure to spring up everywhere. Never read the books, but the trailer looks awful.

I unfortunately did read the books, and thoroughly loved them as a kid, which is why I feel both compelled to watch it and all the more dread at the prospect of doing so.

dwarves in artemis fowl are the worst concept in any work of fiction

So far, I only know about the Trolls sequel (that I wasn't gonna see) and Artemis Fowl & Hamilton (that I was). Most other releases are just delaying.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

I almost watched that Kumail Nanjiani/Issa Rae movie that ended up coming out on Netflix instead of theaters but never got to it.

That Scooby Doo movie also premiered on demand but I heard bad things

That Scooby Doo movie initially looked promising (as, like, a 3D animated feature with an appealing visual style) but then when I saw its actual trailers it stopped looking at all promising. I will probably not watch it.

At least Cats 2019 got its day in theaters. Cats 2019 wouldn't have been the same as an online premiere.

That Scooby movie is like 20 bucks to rent, hard pass. Maybe I could find it online but based on what I've just heard ^ Doesn't sound worth the effort.

10000% catching Hamilton. Oh my goodness

yes, yes and yes^

just letting everyone know that the artemis fowl movie is absolute garbage so at least since it came out online i could watch it without actually spending my own money, by just mooching off of my mom's disney+ account.

This is not a case of "AJ is just complaining because he really liked the books and it's D I F F E R E N T which is bad", this is a case of "I just sat through 2 hours where nothing happened, no characters did anything, for some reason it tried to draw from 4 books at once but without actually any of the interesting things that happen in those books, also why was Opal Koboi there". Like honestly the casting was pretty decent, if it had an actually passable script the movie could have been enjoyable if not the greatest thing ever. But instead we got something where Artemis Fowl literally doesn't do anything except drop his milk when his dad gets kidnapped and then shoot a laser gun in what is honestly shot like a 90's nerf gun commercial. He doesn't actually have to Mastermind anything. I want these two hours of my life back

Do I trust you enough to fully believe you're completely correct about this movie and that I should never watch it? Yes.

Am I stupid enough to watch it anyway? Much harder yes..

Well, honestly, if you didn't read the Artemis Fowl books it will probably be even more boring. At least as someone who read the books I could appreciate how bafflingly bad a lot of the decisions were. For someone with no context it will probably just be solely "why are all of these characters boring, lacking agency, and stupid."

But if you do go in by all means tell me how much I'm right and it sucks

EDIT: Foaly is the sole redeeming feature of this movie. He should have a tin foil hat and I'm mad he doesn't, but otherwise the interpretation of that character was excellent.

I did read the book as a kid I never read the other ones but I have fond memories

Oh, well then, enjoy all the horrible decisions that were made.

"He's a criminal mastermind." ~a character in this movie
List of crimes he commits: One kidnapping (ad-libbed)...& that's it.
I will hand it to Josh Gad for trying his best to sell this.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"